So the manager doesn't even matter.

The win-loss record also doesn't matter:

"Don Mattingly could not have done anything to keep Zack Greinke, Hanley Ramirez or Chad Billingsley healthy."

I am not completely sure that's accurate.


"He probably could not have done anything to get Matt Kemp out of his rut (though for what it’s worth Kemp did homer Monday night, only his second of the year after offseason shoulder surgery)."

I am not completely sure that's accurate, either.


"And Mattingly can’t make Brandon League pitch well… though arguably he could and should stop using him in key situations."

I am not completely sure any of this is accurate.

Maybe Mattingly is unable to motivate his players. Maybe they don't practice enough. Maybe they don't play intelligently. Maybe Mattingly doesn't optimize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses.


"Like his mentor Joe Torre, Mattingly is a more or less competent tactician who really shines as a clubhouse leader. He treats his players well and, by all accounts, he has their respect. That can’t be measured, and clearly it is not helping the Dodgers win any games just at the moment, but it shouldn’t be written off entirely either. Like the vast majority of employees in all fields, baseball players will tell you that a good manager and a good workplace environment do matter."

Joe Torre is more or less a competent tactician?

I pick "less."


If the managers matter so little, I'll take the job at half the pay. Use the remaining money to shore up the bullpen.

Make room for Curtis.

Kevin Kernan notices the poor play of Gardner and Ichiro:

"Ichiro broke an 0-for-22 skid with a seventh-inning single and scored the Yankees second run, but struck out with the potential tying run on second to end the eighth. Gardner went 1-for-5 with two strikeouts and has five hits over his last 28 at-bats. Gardner singled in the ninth with one out and stole second and third against closer Tom Wilhemsen but Jayson Nix struck out and Robinson Cano grounded to short to end the game."

An unusual idea in Yankee Universe is that Wells ought to keep playing and Granderson ought to ride the pine.


Gardner's stats: 158 AB, .253/.324/.380, 3 HR, 7 2B, 2 3B, 20 R, 14 RBI, 16 BB, 40 K, 9 SB

Ichiro's stats: 134 AB, .239/.280/.328, 2 HR, 4 2B, 1 3B, 13 R, 8 RBI, 8 BB, 18 K, 5 SB


It's not Wells or Granderson in the Yankee outfield. It's Wells and Granderson.

Quarter pole.

Yankees in first place, on pace for 100+ wins.

Most people have been proven wrong so far, few people are willing to admit it:

"When I walked into the Yankees clubhouse Tuesday afternoon, they were not last in the AL East. They were first, tied with Texas for the league’s best record.

On one level, I was baffled. No Derek Jeter. No Alex Rodriguez. No Mark Teixeira. Until Tuesday, no Curtis Granderson, either. According to research by STATS LLC, they have the second-oldest roster in the majors and the second-most days lost to the disabled list. That should portend disaster.

Nope. Despite the ad hoc lineups, the long-term questions hovering over Jeter and A-Rod, and the division’s perpetual competitiveness, the Yankees’ excellence remains unassailable."

I'm not sure if it's because the Pinstripes are transformative, I just think the players they lost were overrated and the players they got are underrated.

Sabathia is #1 and #10 on the same list.

Matt Harvey is #5 on the list of current players most likely to win 300 games.

Matt Harvey has 7 career wins.

Don Mattingly is a good manager because I said so.

"They've moved Matt Kemp's left foot back in the batter's box."

"They."


"It's just a few inches but still enough, they hope, to allow Kemp to clear quicker on the harder stuff inside."

Baseball is a game of inches.


"Over time he'd nudged that foot toward the plate, probably so he'd have a more reasonable shot at sliders on the far side of the strike zone, though it may have been unconscious."

OK, good to know.


"Either way, Kemp's setup had become closed, and now his stance is, while not open, at least sneaking up on neutral."

Sneaking up on neutral?


"The techies upstairs report the ball is coming off Kemp's bat well enough, presumably with the kind of velocity and trajectory that suggest better than one home run, eight extra-base hits and a .277 batting average through more than 150 plate appearances."

Who are the techies upstairs?

And who are they to conclude that the velocity and trajectory are better than .277 and 1 HR?


"This, anyway, is what Dodgers manager Don Mattingly said."

Anyway.


"It's small stuff – an inch or two of dirt or bat or ballpark that are the difference between an offensive anchor in the three-hole and a five-tool superstar in the National League West. Then, you take that inch or two, spread them over a roster, over a disabled list, over a stadium-full of expectations, and they amount to something.

Currently, they add up to the relative instability of Mattingly's employment, or at least the daily public referendum on his employment, because the Los Angeles Dodgers – as a result of all those misplaced inches – have been nothing like anyone figured they'd be."

Mattingly sounds like he'd make a heckuva batting coach.


"Generally, the conclusion to fire a manager is the call of the uninspired. The domain of the simple-minded. These are the same people who rail against the waiter when the fish of the day runs out."

Yes, the uninspired, simple-minded people who call for the firing of a baseball manager are ... the same people who rail against the waiters when the fish of the day runs out.

Not to rely upon simple-minded, nonsensical generalizations, or anything ...

I actually think the Heat are kind of boring. They play at half-speed until their backs are against the wall. Shoot a bunch of threes, wait for Lebron to save them in the 4th quarter.

"It doesn't matter whether you love the Miami Heat or hate them. You watch them. They are the team in professional sports, at least in this country, to talk the most about."

What if you don't care about the NBA? What then?


"People still call the Yankees the Evil Empire. They’re not, they don’t generate the emotion they used to one way or another, even when they're going good the way they are now. The Heat are the Yankees now."

I think Chris Nelson and Preston Claiborne are offended.


"LeBron James is the biggest star we have in sports and the Heat are the star team, more than the Yankees or any other baseball team, more than the Lakers and Celtics, more than any team in pro football.

They give off the most heat, in all ways."

The Heat give off the most heat. Brilliant.

Is Mike Lupica arguing with the voices in his head again?


For what it's worth, the dilapidated Yankees still lead the league in attendance and are still worth $2 billion.

Oh, and the dilapidated Yankees just happen to be in first place.

There's a pretty good story there. But it would require a writer to identify the Yankees as underdogs.


"The Orioles may not have a pure No. 1 starter, but I still think they’ve been the best all-around team in baseball this season.

And you better pay attention to the kid at third base, Manny Machado, because he is going to be a huge star for Buck Showalter for a long time."

The Yankees are in first place, by the way.


"By the way, do people still think that Mike Trout was the real MVP of the American League last season and not the guy who won the Triple Crown?"

Sure ... because last season was last season.

Do people still think R.A. Dickey was the real Cy Young of the NL last season?

That's "Mister Rivera" to you, pal.

When he returns from the DL, maybe Teixeira can add some depth to the bench.

Overbay is hitting .264 with 6 HRs and 20 RBIs.

Those sound like Teixeira stats at 1/20th the price.

Big Papi was on the list.

Sorry, but he loses the benefit of the doubt.

I don't see the connection.

"The signs are everywhere now. Panic on the sidewalks of New York, lumps in throats ... hope and faith and belief in miracles in Beantown. It can’t be happening again. But it is. Because if it can happen to Joe Torre and Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, it can sure happen to Carmelo Anthony.

Only this time, it isn’t the Boston Red Sox who are desperate to Reverse the Curse. It is the New York Knicks, champions last in 1973. And this time, the choke’s on them."

This is actually confusing.

This time, the choke's on the Knicks, instead of the Yankees ... and the team looking to reverse the curse is the Knicks, instead of the Red Sox.


So people are actually talking to Kevin Millar, Derek Jeter, and others in an attempt to force this comparison.


Basketball vs. Baseball.

First-round vs. ALCS.

Curse of the Bambino vs. No Curse at all for the Boston team trying to come back from a 3-0 deficit.


Let's listen to Brian Cashman for some common sense, who is a baseball GM inexplicably providing basketball commentary:

" 'I don’t see a comparison,' Yankees general manager Brian Cashman told the Post’s Mark Hale. 'The Knicks will beat Boston if healthy. The Knicks are considerably better than Boston. The Knicks are supposed to win. They will win.' "


Serby gets the final word, proving just how tough it is to force this comparison:

"And the Celtics never sold Bill Russell to the Knicks. But could this be some Curse of the ... Jambino ... anyway?"

I don't know what that means.

Glad everybody got to see the no-hitter.

I'm surprised Collins shows this much candor:

"This afternoon in Miami, Terry Collins said he regrets allowing Johan Santana to throw 134 pitches during his no-hitter last June.

'It turned out not to be a very good idea,' Collins explained to reporters. 'A lot of people are happy they saw the no-hitter, but I wish he was starting today.' "

See, what had happened was ...

It's the dry air.

It's the slick baseballs.

It's the routine fly balls that keep carrying over the fence.

Math.

"All along, the New York Yankees have stated the effort to cut their 2014 payroll to $189 million is merely a goal. More and more, it's one major league sources don't believe they'll reach.

In recent months, the Yankees have become far less bullish on their publicly stated austerity plan, admitting to other executives and agents that staying beneath the $189 million threshold is unlikely and impractical."

"Major league sources" being a calculator.

Felz Stat of the Day

The Yankees lead the American League in home runs.

A lot of praise for a guy with 2 whole RBIs.

"Carl Crawford admits he began to have doubts — about ever hitting .300 again, ever smiling again, maybe even playing baseball much longer.

'I don't think I smiled in two years,' the Dodgers outfielder tells USA TODAY Sports of his time on a troubled team in Boston.

'I was just frowning, I started growing grey hairs on my face from the stress and everything for two years straight.' "

Tough life.

Also, a good time to rip on Boston, Mr. Informed Newsreader.


"Given all that, former teammate Clay Buchholz is not surprised Crawford has revived his career.

'Look what he's doing. It's unbelievable. I called it,' the Red Sox pitcher said. 'He's going to be in a better atmosphere. He's hitting .300 his whole career. He's going to hit .300. He's going to steal his bags. It's just the way it is.'

Yet somehow, it was just the opposite in Boston."

He won't hit .300 this year. He just had a decent couple of weeks. Still, it's kind of lame to admit you can't handle the pressure of Boston.


" 'If I had been hitting .210 the first two weeks, they'd be saying, "I told you he sucked," ' Crawford says. 'But since, it's a hot start, it's more like, "It's only two weeks of the season." We know who's saying that. It's definitely not L.A. fans.' "

It would be Felz saying that.


"But there's one thing he says he's been hearing often that helps:

'Everybody who comes to see me says, "It's nice to see you smiling again." '

It's more crucial to the Dodgers that he's producing again."

Two RBIs.

Surprising setback for the Iron Horse.

"When Teixeira went down with a wrist injury on March 5, he was given a recovery timetable of 8 to 10 weeks. Eight weeks will be April 30. Ten weeks will be May 14.

'There's no setbacks, it just hasn't loosened up yet,' Teixeira said. 'So I'm hoping that that's still the timetable.' "

About that $200 million contract ...

No offense to Harvey ... he lived up to the hype.

"Even the most ardent Mets fan would have to admit there have been precious few must-see games involving the Mets in recent years. But Friday night at Citi Field was different. It was electric, the way it was when Doc and Straw and Keith and The Kid played before raucous packed houses night in and night out at Shea."

Weird.

I briefly tuned in and the crowd seemed surprisingly sparse.


"Gooden had to like what he and the rest of the 26,675 on hand saw from Harvey as the he outdueled Strasburg as the Mets defeated him for the first time with a 7-1 victory."

26,675 is not a packed house.

Get well soon, ARod.

Francisco Cervelli is on the Biogenesis list.

Cervelli had one major-league at-bat last season. He batted .000 with 0 HRs and 0 RBIs.

In 2013, Cervelli is batting .348 with 1 HR and 6 RBIs in 23 at-bats.

The HR traveled about 450 feet in 40-degree weather. He really Mickey Mantled it and nobody even raised an eyebrow. Sterling said "the Cisco Kid rides again!" and Waldman probably reviewed the replay and said the pitch was in a bad location, up and over the plate.


ARod and Braun may be the arch-villains.

But all the people who pretend they'd never root for a team of cheaters?

You already do.

"Masterisk" is a combination of "Masters" and "asterisk." Get it?

Don't worry. Lupica doesn't totally ignore baseball for the sake of awesomely incredible golf portmanteaus:

"I had a feeling that all it was going to take was a good week or two for Vernon Wells to have him halfway to Monument Park."

Nobody is really paying attention to Vernon Wells. But it's nice to see Cashman's much-criticized veteran pickups performing well.


"I don’t know how long this lasts, but the main event right now in New York baseball has become a Matt Harvey start."

I had a feeling all it was going to take was a good week or two for Matt Harvey before hack columnists would put him in the HOF.



"When was the last time a veteran player hit town the way John Buck has for the Mets?"

I had a feeling all it was going to take was a good week or two for John Buck before hack columnists would put him in the HOF.


"How would Yankee fans feel about Carlos Quentin charging the mound if the guy he had injured was Andy Pettitte?

Or Mo Rivera?"

Yankes fans would be upset at Carlos Quentin if he charged the mount and injured Andy Pettitte.

Or Mo Rivera.

Kind of like how Dodger fans are angry at Carlos Quentin for charging the mound and injuring Zack Grienke.

So ... what's your point?

That fans root for specific teams and the players who play for those specific teams?