CEOs and Drug Dealers. Get it?

Is Wallace Matthews just a profoundly unhappy person? Or is this just a Harvey Pekar-esque shtick?:

"But a month into their first seasons in the Bronx, it is obvious that the Yankees have bought themselves nothing but unrealistic expectations and that Sabathia and Teixeira have signed on for nothing but the rockiest honeymoon in recent Yankees history."

Sabathia and Teixeira are being treated with kid gloves. This is because ARod is their umbrella.

As for the notion that this is a "rocky honeymoon" ... Wallace Matthews must have forgotten Hideki Irabu, Jose Contreras, Carl Pavano, Javier Vasquez, Jeff Weaver, Tony Womack, LaTroy Hawkins, Roger Clemens, Jaret Wright, Kei Igawa, Kyle Farnsworth ... the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on.


Tino was booed for replacing Mattingly and Giambi was booed for replacing Tino.

Girardi was booed for replacing Stanley and Posada was booed for replacing Girardi.

Yankee fans cheered sarcastically when Jaret Wright threw out his shoulder during a game. Classy.


Don't know why Wallace Matthews would forget all of these players who experienced "rocky honeymoons."

They're really not too difficult to remember, especially if you are a sportswriter who supposedly covers the New York baseball teams.


"At these prices, what else could you expect?"

They expected to be booed when they performed poorly.

They're probably surprised by the muted reaction since they heard so much about, you know, the passionate Yankee fans. The fans in Baltimore were tougher on Teixeira.

As for the notorious New York press, they are writing about ARod's bowel movements and mostly ignoring baseball altogether until ARod returns.


"Between investing nearly a half-billion dollars on three ballplayers - throw in A.J. Burnett and his five-year, $82.5-million deal - and jacking up ticket prices to the level that only drug dealers and CEOs can afford them, the Yankees have guaranteed themselves that their new ballpark will feature a decidedly hostile atmosphere on days when they underperform."

Wow. That is truly an incomprehensible, contradictory paragraph and completely ignorant of Yankee history.

Also, not funny. "CEOs and drug dealers." Like, Matthews should be ashamed that he wrote something so ignorant and unfunny.


"When you spend, and charge, the kind of money the Yankees spent and are charging this year, what level of performance must they reach to consider having gotten, and given, their money's worth?"

Well, I expect .300/35/120 for Sabathia and 18-10, 3.75 for Sabathia.

That wasn't so hard, was it? You're not mentally capable of answering your own question?


I think most Yankee fans want a Championship and are dissatisfied unless. Teixeira and Sabathia should help, and most fans understand that good players often underperform for brief periods of time.

Also, most fans understand that a high salary doesn't magically imbue baseball players with superhuman abilities. Nobody expects Sabathia to win 30 games or Teixeira to bat .400.

One playoff HR and Teixeira will be cheered wildly by the 55,000 CEOs and drug dealers at Yankee Stadium.


"One of those wins came from Phil Hughes, who wasn't even expected to be part of the team, and the other was a scramble after Andy Pettitte, expected to be a very important part, came unglued Friday night."

I can't believe this. Wallace Matthews simply has no idea what's going on in baseball in New York.

Phil Hughes wasn't even expected to be a part of the team?

Do yourself a favor and quit your job. There has to be something else you're better at. Truthfully, I think you're the only person who didn't expect Phil Hughes to be a part of the 2009 Yankees.