The Mets are loveable losers. Key word being, "losers."

Mike Lupica makes excuses for the $150 million sub-.500 team. Because Mike Lupica is a grizzled, tough New York-style journalist:

"I'm just thinking out loud here, but how would the Yankees be looking these days - how far would they be behind the Red Sox - if they were down Mark Teixeira, A-Rod and Capt. Jeter?

Carlos Delgado isn't the hitter that Teixeira is, Beltran isn't A-Rod, at least when A-Rod is up and running, and it's been a while since anybody was a whole lot keener on Jose Reyes than they are on Jeter.

But you sort of see how the math works, right?

The subtraction part, I mean."

Nobody cares about your imaginary Battle of New York. The Yankees are worried about the Red Sox and the Rays. The Mets are worried about the Marlins and the Phillies.

Yes, genius, the Yankees would be a lot worse without their good baseball players. That's because good baseball players play baseball good. This good baseball playing directly results in winning results for the baseball teams for which they play. You figured that out all by yourself.

But I'd prefer a detailed analysis of how D. Wright really stepped it up when his team experienced all these injuries. Twelve RBIs in June. Not twelve RBIs in one game in June; twelve RBIs in the month of June.

"Let me get this straight about the Yankees:

It's not okay to have facial hair, but it is okay for Nick Swisher to have that Mohawk haircut, except that would be kind of insulting to actual Mohawk haircuts."

Let me get this straight about the so-called premier sports journalist for the New York Daily News:

Dude is in London watching tennis during the Subway Series; has no idea if Edwar Ramirez is still on the Yankees roster; and wants to talk about Nick Swisher's haircut.

May I also point out (shock!) that Mike Lupica is a hypocrite?

I quote hypocritical bum coward liar hack Mike Lupica on Feb. 6, 2006:

"I want to be as clear about this as I can:

I don't think of Johnny Damon going through life on some kind of red carpet.
I don't care about his hair.

I don't care where he gets it done or if he's got highlights.

His hair wasn't all that interesting when it was caveman hair at Fenway Park, it doesn't matter now that it's makeover hair at Yankee Stadium.

Even though people who used to get half-hysterical about caveman hair now think Damon is cuter than a junebug.

Bottom line? The next time he gets a trim, leave me out of it."

Yeah, Anna Wintour, same goes double for Nick Swisher.

Go write an article for Teen Beat about the dreamiest Yankee haircuts. You couldn't name the Yankee starting rotation if somebody put a gun to your head.