If you want to be immortal, it's better to not be elected to the Hall of Fame.

When is the last time Rod Carew was discussed on a sports talk show?:

"So, Mark McGwire used steroids."

You're not shocked. Nobody is shocked.

You know what would be funny, though? If you sarcastically compared McGwire to his contemporaries.


"In other breaking news, Pete Rose bet on Baseball, Gilbert Arenas is familiar with the Second Amendment, and Tiger Woods is out of the running for Husband of the Decade."

HA HA HA!

Well played, maestro.

Gilbert Arenas and Tiger Woods ... in the same sentence! It's LOL overload.


"You probably want to know if this will change McGwire’s prospects for the Hall of Fame."

Err ... I guess I probably do. It's about 500th on my current want-to-know list:

1) Is Sarah Palin serious?

2) Should the United States continually sacrifice personal liberties in the name of security?

3) With the technological decentralization of information and entertainment, why does the resultant news and entertainment paradoxically seem more monolithic than ever before?

...

499) What is that stain on my rug?

500) Will Mark McGwire's confession change his prospects for the Hall of Fame?

501) Who was the lead singer for Kajagoogoo?


"You probably want to know if, in the great American tradition, this confession will start him on the path to salvation – in this case, Cooperstown, N.Y."

Okay, you convinced me I want to know this.


"You probably want to know if I view him differently, now that he has come clean. "

Actually, yeah, I want to know if you view McGwire differently. It was the first thing I thought of. Because, when Jon Paul Moroni talks, people listen.


"Let me explain. I’m not currently a Hall voter. But if and when I join the electorate, I will apply a different standard to hitters who played during the Steroid Era. That’s the period that roughly coincides with McGwire’s playing career (1986 through 2001)."

Okie dokie.


"So, I have a simple policy: If you played during that time, you will need to have done more than hit 400, 500 or even 600 Home runs in order to get my vote. One-dimensional players need not apply. It was just too easy for very strong men to get on the juice and hit baseballs over the fence."

a) Why was the "Home" in "Home runs" suddenly capitalized?

b) 600 Home runs is a convenient allusion to Sammy Sosa, I get it. But what about 700? 1,000?

What if Troy Tulowitzki ... prior to the discovery of an effective human growth hormone test ... hits ten-thousand Home runs?

Then, would you vote Tulowitzki into the Hall of Fame? No? Even if hit ten-thousand Home runs?


Hey, if Abba can make the rock-and-roll Hall of Fame, well, then I think a player with ten-thousand Home runs can make the baseball Hall of Fame.