Hicks is plural for Hick.

That's not my line.

That's the hilarious line Lupica used last week when Lupica was mocking the Rangers for signing ARod a decade ago and for guiding the Rangers to bankruptcy.

So now the Rangers are trading prospects for a rent-a-player. But since that rent-a-player is a player the Yankees also wanted to rent, the Rangers are now Lupica's favorite team:

"This was a pretty amazing day in baseball, not because of anything that happened on the field, but because the did not get Cliff Lee. The Yankees almost always get what they want when they want it. Yankees didn't get their man Friday. Man bites dog."

Cashman will probably go after Lee in the offseason as a Pettitte replacement.

I think the All-Star-Worthy ascension of Gardner will make Cashman think twice about Crawford.

In any case, this is why Lupica is wrong, and I hate to bring common sense into the formula, but here it is: If the Yankees had really wanted Lee, they'd have gotten Lee. It's easy to do. Just sweeten the pot with, say, Cano, Hughes, Joba, and Cervelli. Throw in seven prospects. Let's see the Rangers top that.


"Lee goes instead to the Texas Rangers, a team that came into Friday's games with a record four games worse than the Yankees but 5-1/2 games better than the Angels in the AL West. Now they add one of the best pitchers in the world. The Yankees know that about Cliff Lee as well as anybody after the last World Series."

I just think it's funny that Lee gave up five runs in his second WS start last year, but, since he gave up most of those runs late in a game that he won, everybody acts like he pitched two shutouts.

I'm not diminishing the value of Lee on a playoff team -- I'd be more worried about facing the Rangers in a five-game series than a seven-game series.

But let's just not give the rings to the Rangers quite yet, huh?

Lupica's anti-Yankee mania is not allowing him to see clearly.


"But then this is the constant, continuing bliss of operating in a world without a salary cap. If the Yankees did have to spend the same money as everybody else, well, why even go there? It's a thought too horrible to contemplate."

The Yankees passed on Beltran, Santana, Halladay, Damon, Matsui, and I think they will also pass on Crawford.

The Yankees did not acquire Pujols, Rolen, Ichiro, or Mauer. Though they're sort of constantly accused of collecting every All Star in Hyperbole World, they don't collect every All Star.


The Yankees did not trade Cervelli, Gardner, Joba, Hughes, or Cano.

The Yankees also did not trade Huffman, Curtis, Russo, and other minor contributors.

If you want to include veterans from the farm system, well, I think you already know their names and the rings they've accumulated.

Though they're sort of accused of trading every prospect in Hyperbole World, they don't trade every prospect. They pick precise opportunities.


"You get that idea even as the Yankees look like the best team in baseball again, look as if they are ready to roll after Mark Teixeira's slow start, Alex Rodriguez's slow start, despite Nick Johnson's disappearance and the fact that Curtis Granderson hasn't shown up yet, not really."

Mike Lupica just said the Yankees are the best team in baseball.

Even without Johnny Damon.


"Maybe he didn't want people to get the idea, because of Nick Johnson and Granderson, because the Yankees let Johnny Damon just walk away - to the first-place Tigers - that maybe the Yankees hadn't improved quite as much as they could between the last out of the World Series and now."

Dude loves Johnny Damon, what can I say? It's bizarre that all the Yankee fans and players pine about Damon about as much as they pine about Jerry Hairston. But Lupica is obsessed with Damon, and only Lupica is obsessed with Damon.

I think the 2010 Yankees have two better outfielders than 2010 Johnny Damon. Granderson will have a big second half, which will make three.


But it's hardly the point.

Lupica continually rips the Yankees for spending money ... while also ripping the Yankees for passing on Damon.


2010 Damon, by the way, is batting .271 with 5 HRs and 24 RBIs. He has a lot of runs scored and a decent on-base%. But given the fielding prowess of Granderson? The 2010 Yankees just might have three OFers better than 2010 Damon already.

Could Damon DH for the 2010 Yankees? Sure. Fat Nick got hurt and Thames is mostly useless.

But would Damon DH instead of Posada? I doubt it.


Now, maybe one reason Cashman passed on Damon/Matsui is so he'd have the liquid assets to make a mid-season play at Cliff Lee.

Which he did.

Because he's smart like that.

Besides, the wrong time to rip Cashman's stewardship of the team is when they're in the midst of a West Coast sweep and on pace to win 104 games.