"It is now hard to remember exactly when Alex Rodriguez smacked homer No. 599. Was it during the Clinton presidency, or was the elder Bush still in office?"
It was so long ago, it was around the last time you wrote a funny line in your column.
"A-Rod's slump, his failure in the face of camera flashes, is starting to swallow the season."
Season over.
Clean out your lockers and start interviewing ESPN analysts for the vacant manager's job.
"Good rule of thumb in Tabloid New York: You're only as good as your last four games, in which case the Yankees are a .250 club, Rodriguez has lost his confidence, and the club's rotation is no longer scaring anyone."
In "Tabloid New York," he says.
Like he's in on the joke.
Like he knows he's a joke.
That's a stupid rule of thumb that only a stupid person would suggest it is a rule of thumb.
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