Sunday, August 29, 2010

Jeter? You know he's got an edge.

We're talking about runners left in scoring position ... right?

Because when it comes to runners left in scoring position, Jeter's got an edge, baby!

I thought Yankee fans were supposed to be worried about the Tigers.

I don't think the Twins are serious about bringing a World Series to their fancy new ballpark.

I was just thinking about baseball teams in the American League, and my conclusion was that the Minnesota Twins are not serious about winning.

That's why they play baseball games in clown uniforms with big red shoes and shoot cans of silly string at each other. They're kind of like the baseball version of the Harlem Globetrotters:

"If you didn't think the Twins were serious about bringing a World Series to their fancy new ballpark before, maybe them going for as a set-up man the other day will convince you that they want this year to be different from all the others when they couldn't make it out of the first round."


Oh, Brian Fuentes is the difference-maker in the playoffs.

You mean the guy the Yankees beat last year in the playoffs? The guy with the 9.82 World Series ERA? The guy with as many Championship rings as me?


"The Yankees were 13-14 over a month of baseball that ended with Friday night's sparkling performance against the White Sox, and when you play that kind of dreary baseball over this long a period, you get people wondering if you're still the $200 million odds-on favorite to repeat."


Hmmm ... the Twins haven't had a slump this year? Has there been a team in the history of major league baseball who hasn't had a slump?

Dismissing the Yankees demonstrates a lack of understanding of baseball.


"The Red Sox have lost one-third of the starting team they had at the start of the season - Youkilis, Pedroia, Ellsbury - and should have gone away a long time ago.

And sort of haven't.

Have they?"


On August 7th, the Yankees beat the Red Sox and pulled 7 games ahead on the loss side.

Three weeks of dreary baseball later, the Yankees are 6 games ahead on the loss side.

The Red Sox sort of have gone away, those scrappy li'l $160 million underdogs. I think losing Youkilis, Pedroia, and Ellsbury brings their on-field payroll down to 2x the Rays'. The same Rays who've got 6 fewer losses.


Doesn't matter, Yankee fans. Once the Sox are thoroughly dismissed, Lupica will write an article hyping the Rays.

Worry about Price and the Rays.

Worry about Lee and the Rangers, Verlander and the Tigers, Fuentes and the Angels/Twins, any team with John Lackey.

Lupica wants you to be afraid.

It wouldn't matter if the Red Sox were 1.5 games back or 12.5 games back. Lupica is going to write the same article. I'm surprised he didn't bring up Babe Ruth and Aaron Boone.


Now ... this is key ... the entire reason a team builds a big lead is so they can withstand a 13-14 slump. The Yankees have room for error. The Red Sox do not have room for error. A few Papelbon blown saves, an ill-timed error by Mike Lowell, a couple of "tough losses," a bad month for Beckett, and their season if over.


I mean, I know it's coming, and it's still ridiculous.

Lupica is rooting against the Yankees so hard that he can't interpret baseball reality.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

"Whatever," he says.

"But even if Girardi pulls Burnett from the rotation, he has limited options. He could give a start to Javier Vazquez, who is battling his own problems. Or he could give the job to long reliever Sergio Mitre.

Burnett likened his struggles to 'Groundhog Day.'

'Joe makes the decisions around here, so whatever,' Burnett said. 'But I'm looking forward to going out there in the next five days and making my start, and turn this thing around. Better late than never.' "

I am not sure I've ever seen a professional athlete less dedicated to the craft.

He doesn't field well.

He forgets to back up home plate.

He doesn't hold runners on.

He doesn't seem to scout the opponents.

He leads the league, for sure, in the "Burnett Index": Walks + Hit-By-Pitch + Wild Pitches.

Every time he gets two strikes on a batter, everyone in the stadium knows the next pitch is going to be a 45-foot slider that is 5 feet outside.

Dude, Little Leaguers have more control than that.

Yesterday, a run scored on a walk, a wild pitch, a ground out, and a wild pitch. Burnett sort of jogged to cover the plate as the runner was running home from third base.

Which is sort of a typical way Burnett gives up runs.

Do you think, in the combined careers of Pettitte, Rivera, and Sabathia, that they have ever allowed a single run to score like that?

I mean, does Burnett even practice pitching?

Does he practice throwing a baseball at a catcher's mitt?

Friday, August 27, 2010

One of these teams will lose.

Which is good news for the Yankees.


I am rooting for Tampa because making the playoffs is more important than winning the AL East.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

If.

"The amazing thing about all the injuries the Red Sox have had is that they could still be right there with the Yankees and Rays if Josh Beckett hadn't pitched like this kind of scrub before and after he was on the DL."

1) I am too focused on the exciting race between the Yankees and the Padres. I am not even paying attention to the Rays and the Red Sox.

2) A team with a $160 million payroll should be able to replace injured players.

3) Math. Logic. Deduction.

"If Josh Beckett hadn't picked like a scrub, the Red Sox would be right there with the Yankees and Rays."

Why?

If Lupica is allowed to play baseball in Imagination Land, then so can I:
  • If Burnett had won 20 games.
  • If Vazquez had won 19 games.
  • If ARod had hit 45 HRs.
  • If Joba had a 0.99 ERA.
  • If the Yankees had never lost a game the whole season.
The Red Sox are the only team with injuries and under-performing players?

Every team is a playoff contender if you take their bad players and re-imagine them as good players.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

15-5.

Not sure why Hughes is still a question mark.

He's really good.

If you want to save his innings, score eleven runs and bring in Mitre.

What's the problem, folks?

Good for the Padres.

The Yankees are worth over $1.5 billion.

What lesson could the Padres possibly offer the Yankees with regards to professional baseball success on and off the field?

If the Yankees strove for more efficiency, they might make the World Series once every decade or so?:

"So my favorite race in baseball isn't the one between the Yankees and the Rays for the best record in the sport, it's the one between the Yankees and Bud Black's Padres. Coming into Thursday' [sic] play, the standings in that two-team race looked like this:

Yankees 74-46.

Padres 72-47."

For one thing, that's a three-team race, you retard. You even listed all three teams.

For another thing, you forgot your apostrophe s.


Bad editing aside, this is truly an incredible thing to say. Mike Lupica is more interested in an imaginary Lupica-Land race than in the actual professional baseball divisional race, and he publicly admits to this.


Oh, and the Yankees' best cost-cutting measure was their refusal to sign your Boyfriend Johnny Damon.

I think I've discovered hypocrisy in Mike Lupica's thought patterns.

For instance, if you really think the Yankees' inability to win the WS for nine seasons was inexcusable due to their high payroll, then how can you defend Joe Torre's managerial tenure during seven of those season? What, it was all Kevin Brown's fault?


"The fact that the Yankees have only won once since 2000 after having spent a couple of billion dollars on players and revenue sharing and luxury taxes remains one of the most amazing baseball statistics of all time, up there with Joe DiMaggio's streak, or Cal Ripken's, and the size of Barry Bonds' head."

Very ignorant and embarrassing thing to say.

The most obvious logical hole here is that the Yankee revenue sharing and luxury taxes help teams like the Padres. Duh. Your arithmetic needs work, son.


Lupica really expects a high payroll team to win the World Series every year? Their inability to do so remains one of the most amazing baseball statistics of all time? He actually compares the Yankees' streak -- one which they made the World Series two times and made the playoffs almost every year -- to Dimaggio's hitting streak and Ripken's consecutive game streak?

It's beyond stupid. Lupica is saying the most successful sports franchise in history isn't successful enough.


If you really expect the Yankees to win the World Series every few years, you know nothing about baseball, baseball history, the playoffs, payrolls, the talent pyramid, free agency, luck, and a hundred other factors that would help explain professional baseball to a person who is supposedly trying to understand professional baseball.


God, I hope the Padres lose their next 30 games.

Still has 21 HRs and 97 RBIs ...

... and it's mid-August:

"A-Rod was leading the AL with 97 RBIs going into last night, one up on Detroit's Miguel Cabrera, but his power output has diminished dramatically, with 21 home runs in 426 at bats. That represents one for every 20.3 at-bats, after coming into the season with one for every 14.3 at-bats, a significant difference.

There's also been a noticeable difference in Rodriguez's range at third base, where he's not making plays on balls he ate up his first few seasons in The Bronx."


That's funny.

ARod's defense has clearly improved. Not on days when his hip is sore, of course. Not on days when he's the designated hitter, either.


I guess I shouldn't complain.

This is clearly ARod's worst season, despite the RBIs.

At first, I was mystified by the lack of criticism: "ARod is a new man and he won a ring!"

But then when everybody notices he's having a bad year -- clearly because they started paying attention when he stalled slightly on 599 HRs -- the reaction is over the top.

This useless player will probably hit 40 HRs next year.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Stats of the day.

David Wright has made 14 errors and struck out 126 times.

The Red Sox are closer to fourth place than they are to first place.

The Mets are bigger underachievers and so are the Cubs. I'd say the Dodgers, too.

So the Red Sox are only the fourth-most disappointing team in major league baseball:

"The Red Sox have lost half their team this season and still came into the weekend with the third-most wins in the sport."


Wow, Mike Lupica is easy to impress. Second-highest payroll doesn't buy you much depth these days, I guess.


When this article was published, the following teams had better winning percentages that the gritty Red Sox: Yankees, Rays, Twins, Rangers, Braves, and Padres.

The Giants had the same record.

All of the above-mentioned teams have suffered injuries. Nobody cares about your injuries, especially when your payroll is north of $150M.


Yeah, I get that the Red Sox are more important to Yankee fans than the Padres. But this endless Gritty Red Sox Underdog storyline is tired and, in the year 2010, completely out of touch with reality.


Beckett is overrated. Lackey is a bust. Papelbon blows the save every time he faces a good team. Varitek, Martinez, and Ortiz are all off the PEDs and scaring nobody.

Beltre has had a great year, I'll give them that, and Lupica even predicted it.

But the Red Sox are not catching the Yankees*, and the Red Sox are not gritty.


* I hate making predictions, especially in baseball, but the Red Sox have to realistically win about 75% of their remaining games in order to win the AL East. I don't think it's happening and I don't think they would merit any attention if they had a different name on the front of their uniform.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

It's not really a baseball analysis at all, it's just a measure of one's uptightness.

Stumbled on this article while looking at A.J Burnett's page at baseball-reference.com, just to confirm that Burnett's lifetime ERA is better than Josh Beckett's.

By a whole 0.01 earned runs per nine innings.

But it just reminded me of a lot of chatter I've heard lately:

"The rehab setback by Andy Pettitte could be just temporary, but the thought has to arise the injury could be more severe than initially diagnosed. There is also the possibility he may have to pitch with some level of discomfort the rest of the season. Will the Yankees even see the same version of Pettitte when he returns? Also, what if Pettitte can’t return in 2010 what will the Yanks do the rest of the season?"

Answer to question #1: Who knows?

Answer to question #2: Probably win the AL East. The "rest of the season" being less than 50 games.


"You could argue that Pettitte was statistically the ace of the staff. His 139 ERA+ led all starters and was his best since 2002. Only CC Sabathia has shown the same type of consistency this year, and he even had his down period. With two games separating the Yanks and Rays in the AL East, consistency will be paramount to success, especially in the starting rotation."

Do the Rays exhibit consistency in their starting rotation?

Do the Red Sox?

Does anybody?

For the millionth time, the 2010 Yankees are not being challenged by the 1998 Yankees. I think the chances of holding off the Rays are 50%-50%. The chances of holding of the Rays and the Red Sox for the wild card are probably about 90%-10%.


"Can you win a postseason series with both A.J. Burnett and Javier Vazquez starting a game? What about Phil Hughes innings? Can they win with a postseason bullpen sans Hughes? This small injury setback has so many ramifications."

You go to a three-man rotation if you have to, but, yeah ... the Yankees can win a postseason series with Burnett and Vazquez starting a game.

Just like they could lose a postseason series with Pettitte starting a game.


"It appears Dustin Moseley needs to be every bit Aaron Small if Pettitte doesn’t return this season. There just doesn’t seem to be any better options. Right now I am putting the 'cart before the horse,' but the injury setback to Pettitte is an ominous sign."

Yeah, I really don't understand the incessant desire to "worry" Yankee fans.

The Yankees are cruising to 100 wins, best record in baseball, and are the current champs. Pettitte has a slight rehab setback and it's time to get worried.

"Yankees are great" is just a boring story.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My open letter to Mark Teixeira.

Dear Mr. Teixeira,

The Yankees pay you $20 million per year to play baseball and the Yankees
are currently involved in a pennant race.

If you'd like to refund the money so you can witness your wife give birth,
that's still not acceptable. I am considering a class action lawsuit.

I know some say that witnessing a childbirth is a life-changing experience.
Last night, I was forced to watch Marcus Thames bat against right-handed
pitching and, believe me, that is also a life-changing experience.

I expect to see you back at work today. That's why it's called work.

Your pal,
Darren

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

AL Cy Young.

Is there an obvious choice to run away with the AL Cy Young Award?

Could this be the year Mariano wins it?

Sunday, August 08, 2010

I am an accountant, not a sportswriter.

"Of course we started reading at the end of the week that the Yankees might be interested in Jose Guillen.

The Yankees, 'budget' aside, would be interested in Ozzie Guillen if they thought he could still play.

No kidding, how long before we hear that is coming home, via the waiver wire?"


1. "Started reading" is not much of a source. I "started reading" that human life started on Mars, and it was probably reptilian life.

2. Every team should be interested in every available player. Determine if that player meets their needs and fits their budget.

3. If the Dodgers -- Manny's third team, by the way -- agreed to pay half of Manny's salary, then sign him up tomorrow. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Lupica wasn't outraged when Manny signed with Boston and with LA, busting budgets, ruining competition, etc.

Did it ever occur to Lupica by looking at the standings that payroll is not as closely linked to success as he thinks it is?

Ahem ...

"There is this idea that the Mets could solve all their problems by throwing more money at them, even with a payroll that tops out over $130 million and puts them in the top five in baseball.

But if that's true, how come the Rays are where they are at nearly $60 million less than that?

And the Padres are in first place at almost $90 million less than the Mets are spending?

Again and again:

The problem isn't the money the Mets haven't spent.

It's the money they have spent."

Mike Lupica wrote that.

After a decade-plus of incessantly ridiculing the Yankee payroll -- in all seriousness, Mike Lupica mocks the Yankee payroll in almost every article he writes, baseball-related or not -- Mike Lupica says you can't build a winning baseball team just by throwing money at it.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Alex Rodriguez. Shall we discuss Alex Rodriguez?

Every player is getting older.

In fact, every person is getting older.

If fact, every thing in the Universe is getting older.

The only exception is Mariano Rivera, and that's just because He is the Unknowable Immortal Essence that created the Universe in the first place:

"Now that he's eased everyone's angst over his 600th homer - only to renew it by getting struck in the shin by a batting practice line drive Saturday - Alex Rodriguez can reset his sights on a far less daunting number: 25. That would be 25 homers this season, which would be his lowest total since 1997, but considering his present pace, may not be so easy to attain."

If he's healthy, he'll get 25 HRs. It's only 8 more. Also, 130 RBIs or so.

To be fair, I'm not that impressed with .275/30/130 RBIs/90 runs.

The RBIs are mostly a result of his positioning in baseball's best lineup.


"One thing is certain about A-Rod as he resumes his climb toward Barry Bonds' bogus Mount Olympus mark of 762 homers or even Hank Aaron's legit 755: He's slowing down. The combination of age (35) and injury, minus any performance-enhancing drugs, would appear to be working against him - and, if so, that is ominous news for the Yankees, who will be paying him an average of $27.5 million per season through 2017 hoping to cash in themselves on his becoming baseball's all-time home run king."

Next article he writes will be imploring the Yankees to pay Jeter whatever Jeter wants.


Look, Madden is smart enough to know that the players are not even paid for the production on the baseball field. Indirectly, sure. But ARod is mostly paid to draw people to the ballpark and eyes to the television set and, on a rare occasion for unfortunate souls who are stuck driving their cars, ears to the Sterling/Waldman radio broadcast.

Come to the park to cheer him, come to the park to boo him, just as long as you come to the park.


"It should be remembered that the 10-year, $275 million extension the Yankees gave A-Rod back in 2008 was Hank Steinbrenner's deal, not Brian Cashman's, but it is Cashman who must live with it and manipulate his roster around what figures to be a gradually fading superstar whose primary value to the team three to four years from now will be his asterisked pursuit of the home run record."

Are you really saying that you think a 39-year-old Alex Rodriguez is going to have no value as an everyday baseball player?

You're really sure of that?

Like, the Yankees are going to bench ARod during road games and then trot him out there as a DH (batting ninth) on home games, just so the home fans can trudge to a near-empty ballpark to watch a .212-hitting bum swing for the fences?


"But getting back to A-Rod's pursuit of the all-time record: It would certainly seem as if it's going to require a bit of a push for him to hit 25 homers this year alone - no telling how much time he'll miss because of Saturday's mishap - and his hip problems along with advancing age and the likelihood of him playing in fewer games in future seasons make 762 or 755 look like long-odds propositions."

ARod only needs 8 HRs to get to 25 this year. In the smallest ballpark in the whole, wide world. He'll probably get to 30 (no great shakes).

Yes, Alex Rodriguez is undoubtedly having his worst offensive year, but isn't it a little early to be digging this guy's grave?

When was the last time Evan Longoria hit a HR? (Three HRs in July.)

When is the last time Jeter hit a HR? (One HR since June 13.)

When's the last time Jason Bay hit a HR? (June 29.)

Basically, if you're not a Toronto Blue Jay, your HR production is down.


The pursuit of Ruth, Aaron, Bonds is stupid. ARod isn't really talking about it. Maybe the sportswriters should stop talking about it.

Nice job, Berkman.

Alex Rodriguez is the first thing you've hit hard in two weeks.


Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Longoria's pursuit of #76 imperils Tampa's season.

With only two HRs in his last twenty-two games, Evan Longoria's HR slump is not only distracting to his teammates, it has now clearly imperiled the entire Tampa Bay season.

After tonight's loss, the Rays have slipped into a first-place tie with the Yankees.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Suzyn Waldman's Keys to the Game.

I don't listen to her enough, but it would be funny to keep a log of her "keys to the game." It is almost inevitably for the Yankee pitchers to throw strikes and for the Yankee batters to be patient and wait for a good pitch to hit.

Today, with sinkerballer Dustin Moseley starting for the Yankees, Suzyn Waldman's key was for ... Dustin Moseley to keep his sinkers low.

Thanks for the insight, Dave Duncan.

Yankees lose two in a row.

"It is now hard to remember exactly when Alex Rodriguez smacked homer No. 599. Was it during the Clinton presidency, or was the elder Bush still in office?"

It was so long ago, it was around the last time you wrote a funny line in your column.


"A-Rod's slump, his failure in the face of camera flashes, is starting to swallow the season."

Season over.

Clean out your lockers and start interviewing ESPN analysts for the vacant manager's job.


"Good rule of thumb in Tabloid New York: You're only as good as your last four games, in which case the Yankees are a .250 club, Rodriguez has lost his confidence, and the club's rotation is no longer scaring anyone."

In "Tabloid New York," he says.

Like he's in on the joke.

Like he knows he's a joke.

That's a stupid rule of thumb that only a stupid person would suggest it is a rule of thumb.

Monday, August 02, 2010

It must be Dave Eiland's fault.

LOVE the two walks directly following the two HRs.

Burnett is gutless.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Write an article criticizing the Mets' deadline moves. Oh. They didn't make any.

"And Cashman is the one who thought the Yankees could win with Granderson and Johnson instead of Hideki Matsui and. So now Berkman, whose home run totals really have dropped like an anchor over the side of a boat, is the DH that Matsui could have been for one more year at the Stadium, and Kearns becomes another outfielder."

Mike Lupica is talking about Johnny Damon again.

Oh, and the Yankees have the best record in baseball. So they're kinda winning.


"Berkman is 13 homers, 49 RBI, a .245 batting average. Matsui? He is 14 and 55 and .251 with the Angels, and you can only imagine what his numbers would look like with the kind of boppers the Yankees would have put around him again. Damon is .281 for the Tigers, seven homers, 32 RBI, not up to his Yankee standards. But you think those numbers aren't better hitting behind Jeter and ahead of Teixeira, and the right-field wall beckoning at the Stadium?

Seriously, if you're a Yankee fan, you want to go to war with Matsui and Damon, or with this year's trade-deadline saviors?"


They all pretty much stink. But Damon and Matsui can't field anymore and the Astros are paying $10 million of Berkman's salary. So what's the problem here?

Also, did you just disrespect Detroit leadoff hitter Austin Jackson? The all-star that Cashman should have never traded? Wow.


"This isn't just about Yankee money, even though you'd think the Yankees, at $210 million (what happened to the 'budget'?), would be more fully-formed at this point in the season."

$210M is the budget. If Cashman had stuck with Matsui and Damon, the payroll would be a lot more. Then, you'd complain about that.


"This is about the weird insecurity around a team that is loaded with All-Stars and legends and came into Saturday with a record of 65-37 and seems to be well on its way to another 100-win season."

No, it's not that at all. It's small-impact deadline deals to improve the bench and the bullpen.

But I love that Lupica has given up on the gritty Red Sox and his favorite cheater Big Papi and his favorite closer Papelbon and his favorite GM Epstein.


"Will the Yankees beat them out of first place in the East in the end? That's the way to bet.

And that's not the real question here.The question goes something like this:Why do the Yankees seem to be so worried that they can't?"


This is not an "insecure" move by a panicky team. Lupica is just projecting his own Napoleon Syndrome psychological problems.

When the facts don't fit Lupica's story, Lupica just bends the facts.



What Lupica is demonstrating is that he's going to criticize Cashman no matter what.

Interest in Lee? That's overkill.

Do nothing? That's arrogance. (Look out for the Rays and also the return of Josh Beckett!)

Tweak the team at the cost of Mark Melancon? That's panicky, too.

It's Cashman's job to be panicky, by the way, but this is just minor tweaking. Maybe Minaya and Epstein should be more panicky.