Yes, Rick. Yes, he is a realistic option. Now, about that down payment for the Brooklyn Bridge ...

"In your March 10 mailbag, you mentioned that Carl Pavano could be ready to go in June or July. With the state of the Yankees rotation, is he a realistic option? How close is he to being game-ready?-- Rick H., Hoboken, N.J."

I think they're all big games.

"If you needed to win one high-stakes game, whom would you rather have pitching, Pettitte or Santana?

...

Yes, the Mets could have scored more runs for him, but these are the types of games the No.1 starter is supposed to win. For the moment, Pettitte still seems to know how to do that a little better than Santana."

Most of this article is nonsense. Santana is overrated overall and disappointing in 2008, but the only reason Santana doesn't have a better record is because his team doesn't score enough runs when he pitches. When Santana points this out, he is not refreshingly honest, he's a crybaby.

Whatever.


What I really don't understand is the idea that Saturday's game was "big."

If you're going to bother distinguishing between high stakes and low stakes game, then why is the game against the Yankees categorized as high stakes?

The Mets are not battling the Yankees for a playoff spot. The Mets are not even in the same league as the Yankees.

If the Mets are battling the Yankees for a playoff spot, then congratulations to the Mets. They won 4 out of 6 vs. the Yankees this year.

The Mets won the Battle of New York: When is the parade?


If either of these teams are going to make the playoffs, they're going to have to win a lot of games. All kinds of games. Big games, small games, high stakes games, low stakes games, home games, away games, night games, day games.

Beating the Mets is no more important than beating the Royals, even if John Harper can't be bothered to pay attention to June games vs. KC.

They're all big games and the stakes are always high.

The Mets need a pitcher like Santana, whose ERA is 3.01.

The Mets don't need a pitcher like Oliver Perez, who can seemingly transform himself into a "big game" pitcher whenever he faces the Yankees or the Braves, and then tanks against the Mariners.

"They're not nearly as interested in the Subway Series here as you might think."

Mr. Lupica, I was not necessarily expecting children with cancer in New Mexico to be interested in the Subway Series.

However, I'd expect a sportswriter for the New York Daily News to be interested in the New York baseball teams.

Instead, I get Knicks, Knicks, Knicks, Knicks, Knicks, Knicks, Knicks, politics, London, soccer, Mets, tennis, Michael Strahan, Yankees, horse racing, baseball, Red Sox, Imus's ranch rodeo for children with cancer, London.

Wakka wakka wakka.

Maybe the Yankees should have kept Billy Crystal full-time. He could have entertained the press corps with impromptu impersonations of ex-Presidents:

"Even during the good times, the Yankees have always been the circus act in this interborough rivalry, their combination of controversy and mega-stars so often making for great entertainment. Only this time the Mets come into the Subway Series as the team in the center ring after a circus-like month seemingly stolen right out of the Steinbrenner playbook."

Do you suppose John Harper even watches baseball games anymore?

Self-awareness is a key component of a fulfilling existence.

"Steinbrenner said he didn't want to comment on the manner in which Randolph was fired because he's not 'one of those talk-radio types' who spews on subjects he knows little about."

Yankees win seven in a row. Five games back.

"Now what for the Mets? It is a real good question on either side of the Atlantic after a week in which they managed to turn themselves into the kings of comedy, a good question even if you are on your way to Centre Court, Wimbledon, for the first time in a long time, a long way from Shea."

I'm not in London, on my way to Centre Court, Wimbledon.

Why?

Are you, Mike Lupica?

Are you in London, on your way to Centre Court, Wimbledon?

Nice to know. What did you have for breakfast? Since we're talking about the Mets, I think it's relevant.


"Now the people in charge go back to work and prove to their fans that they still know what they're doing, that they didn't turn into a complete bums with this one act, show their fans, over the rest of this season and into the offseason, that they are better than the way they just treated Willie Randolph, which means like he was a loser on 'The Apprentice.' "

Is that show even on the air anymore?

"Willie didn't turn into the worst manager in the world over the last year-and-a-half. And the people who signed his checks now get to prove that they didn't turn into the family from 'Family Guy,' beyond all redemption forever."

"Family Guy"! I watch that show, too! The baby who talks like Peter Lorre? Hilarious.

Your cultural references are on fire today.

Next thing you know, you'll be bringing up the Frankenstein sketch from "The Ben Stiller Show"; You could reference "The State": ("I'm Willie Randolph, and I'm outta heeeere."); Maybe explain how Cleon Jones reminds you of the lead singer of Thinking Fellers Union Local 282.

What about the Yankees, though?

Winners of seven in a row? Five games out? Four guys potentially racing for the batting crown?

Anything about the most popular baseball team in New York City metropolitan area?

In the middle of June?

I found it! Almost at the end of the three-page article:

"The Yankees really are in the middle of one of the softest interleague schedules in the history of the known universe: Astros, Padres, Reds, Pirates.

And, well, our kids from Shea."


Very good.

Go watch Wimbeldon ... and get those Harry Potter references ready! Because Harry Potter is British.

I kid because I care.

In this embarrassing, classless, and downright sad article -- I really find it amazing that a man can develop a reputation for being "classy" just because he's soft-spoken and still maintain that reputation regardless of what he actually says or actually does -- Felz attempts to dig out one morsel of levity:

"I don't like the way the Mets handled my firing. I think it was pretty weak. I think I would've deserved better if my record had been 0-555, not 302-253."

So, what I was thinking was that, ummm, the manager would probably get fired before the record got to 0-555.

Like, a 500-game losing streak would probably be enough to get a manager fired.


Yeesh.

I apologize to everyone.

I hope some day I can regain your trust.

I have erred.

Please go to this website instead of felzball.

Value.

"Rodriguez had another brilliant one last night, homering for the fourth straight game while racking up three hits in the Yankees' 8-5 win over the Padres in The Bronx. The Yanks are now 19-9 since his return, and he's hitting .382 with 10 homers, 29 RBIs and six steals in those games."

Jerry Manuel's first play as manager of the Mets.

This is downright surreal:

"Angels starter John Lackey looked over to first, and soon everyone else was, too: Reyes was rubbing his leg. Then he rubbed it some more. He asked for time, walked off the base, kept rubbing the leg, feeling it out. Now the Mets' training staff was out there, and so was Manuel. Earlier, asked about his philosophy of baseball, Manuel had said it was important for baseball teams to know their manager cared 'just as much about the player as about the result.'

He would hold true to that credo now, less than five minutes into his tenure. Manuel told Reyes he was taking him out of the game. Only Reyes didn't want to go. He shook his head. He bent his knees. Manuel tried to put an arm around Reyes but Reyes started walking toward second. The crowd started to stir uneasily, the way a crowd at a mall stirs uneasily watching a petulant child at Toys 'R' Us.

Finally, Reyes gave in, but not before throwing his helmet, not before tearing his jersey out from his pants and storming into the clubhouse, the fury etched deep into his face. Manuel would soon follow him there. Reyes later apologized."

One time, Ty Cobb beat up a fan who had no hands.

I thought it was unnecessary to make these guys fly all the way to the West Coast, but it's not really that big of a deal in the scheme of things:

"I do not say this lightly: The Mets' firings of Randolph, pitching coach Rick Peterson and first base coach Tom Nieto will go down as one of the most disgraceful episodes in sports history."

I think it will be mostly forgotten in a month or two, especially if the Mets make the playoffs.


But, just for the heck of it, I'll review this Week in Sports Disgrace:

-- An NBA ref who fixed games to support his gambling habit accused the NBA of fixing a playoff game. The majority of fans believe the ref.

-- Cedric Benson was arrested for drunk driving. Which isn't too unusual for an NFL player. Except Benson was arrested for drunk boating last month.

-- Suzyn Waldman spoke about the Yankees, on air, where people could hear.

Say what?

"That man is Fred Wilpon, who over the past 28 years as president and CEO of the Mets has cultivated a reputation as a decent man, a man of superior judgment and intelligence."

Fred Wilpon has cultivated a reputation as a man of superior judgment and intelligence?

That would be a record, or something.

According to yahoo's glitchy game recap:

"Top 6th: NY Yankees

- R. Cano singled to right, R. Cano and C. Wang scored, J. Damon to third
- R. Cano singled to center, J. Damon scored, D. Jeter to second
- R. Cano homered to deep left center, D. Jeter and H. Matsui scored
- R. Cano homered to deep left center, J. Giambi scored"

Six games back.

"My feeling on our kids in Yankee pinstripes goes something like this:

When you're spending $200 million on baseball players, you're sort of not supposed to need a weak wild-card field to make the playoffs."

That's it?

The Yankees are 3 games over .500 for the first time this season. Six games back of Boston, 4.5 games back of Tampa. Not 1927 or 1998, but too early to give up on the AL East, don't you think?


Mussina has rebounded to a truly astonishing ten wins so far (can a 39-year-old win Comeback Player of the Year?); Joba had a decent six-inning start and seems to have adjusted his pitching style; Farnsworth pitched well in back-to-back games, which is something I thought was truly not possible.


Should Rasner replace Pettitte in the rotation if the playoffs started today? Should Cano be benched? When is Bruney coming back?


Damon is OPSing .888 while Coco Crisp is OPSing .676.

Matsui is OPSing .869 while Jacoby Ellsbury is OPSing .763.

ARod is OPSing .996 while Mike Lowell is OPSing .827.

Those stats don't mean too much per se and they are presented out of context. But I just conveyed more information about the 2008 Yankee baseball season after two minutes of research than "America's premier sports columnist" has conveyed in three months of supposed baseball coverage.


It's already mid-June.

The baseball season is almost halfway over.

It's a good time to start paying attention to the New York baseball teams instead of, say, Tim Russert or "American Idol."

It's all Billy Wagner's fault.

Relax, Lupica: Nobody ever said it was all Billy Wagner's fault. Until me, in the title of this blog entry:

"So the Phillies are 14-1/2 games better than the Mets over the last 83. We can talk and talk about Wagner, but those three blown saves since last Sunday are just two games out of the 14-1/2. If this is all Wagner's fault, how come the Mets are under .500 in the middle of June?"

You're right, Mike Lupica.

Congratulations

You won another argument with yourself.

It's kind of weird, however, that you're so in love with Billy Wagner that you defend him even when he's not being attacked.

A statue of Jobu might help.

"We're just in one of those real bad ruts where the baseball gods are not good to you," Randolph said.

That's how losers talk.


"They talk about $140 million payrolls," Randolph said. "But the payroll is not always out there. That's the way it goes."

Not that you're using injuries as an excuse.


Blaming injuries, blaming the baseball gods, compaining about what "they" are saying. Sounds like a man delivering his own eulogy.

Another blown save for B-Wags?

When a player calls out his teammates, it's somewhat gratifiying to see this player fail on the field.

When a player is one of Mike Lupica's man-crushes, it's somewhat gratifying to see this player fail on the field.

When a player is on the Mets and the manager's job is on the line, it's somewhat gratifying to see this player fail on the field.

Can not handle the pressure of New York.

Randy Johnson was better in New York than this guy.

Ball Thief makes a cameo appearance.

The touching story of the never-was attacking a has-been:

"After the game, Johnson played off the incident, saying: 'It didn't bother me at all. If it would've, [Mientkiewicz] would probably be on a stretcher, and I'd be out of the game.' "

That's not a very nice thing to say.


"I've been on a stretcher before and, technically, he's been out of the game for three years in my mind," Mientkiewicz said.

Good comeback, Ball Thief.


" 'That just shows me how mentally weak he is. That's why he got out of [New York].'

Johnson played in New York from 2005-06 before returning to the D-backs rotation in '07.

'New York beat him down, let's put it that way,' said Mientkiewicz."

Johnson won 34 games in two season with the Yankees. While disappointing, it is a lot for somebody who was "technically" out of baseball.

But let's say Johnson was a terrible baseball player in New York and the reason he was terrible is because he was mentally weak.

What's your reason for being a terrible ballplayer in New York? You're mentally tough, but just lacking talent?

Compare and contrast.

Tim Marchman's abbreviated analysis of the 2008 NY baseball season:

"That’s a really broad question and I could go on for a while. Basically the Mets seem to be stuck in a recurring pattern where they develop some good young talent, invest well in veterans, verge on becoming a really elite team, and then blow it because they tilt a little too heavily toward older players. This has gone on under so many general managers and so many managers, and for so long, that it really seems to be a systemic problem, and the one common thread for a long time now has been the Wilpon family, who really don’t get enough blame for presiding over the same story being told over and over again with a slightly different cast each time. I have thought, and continue to think, that Randolph should go, but that’s mainly because he doesn’t seem a good fit stylistically for this team, which needs more of a Weaver/Valentine type improviser in my opinion.

The Yankees are entertaining as usual; this is a transition year for them and I’m mainly surprised that they seem to be sticking with the idea of developing the young talent while trying to squeeze a last run out of the older players, rather than visibly panicking. I do have the sense that Hank Steinbrenner could become a really serious problem for them, just because you never want an owner expressing opinions on which players should be in the rotation or the lineup, especially when those opinions are different from those of people with actual professional qualifications, but for right now he’s a harmless diversion. The Yankees may not be good, but there’s never any sense of abject hopelessness about them, and that puts them up on the Mets."

Mike Lupica attempts the same:

"Really, this is what the baseball season in New York has been so far:

One start for Joba.

All the talk about Willie Randolph's job."

I think you meant to say, "This is a really broad topic and I could go on for a while."

Or not.

Exactly.

"I think we're a good team, but it's always been ridiculous that people look at payroll," Randolph said. "I've been on many teams where that doesn't wash."

You've been on many underachieving teams. Very interesting. Did you put that on your resume when you applied for the job as Mets manager?


"People have to produce. Look at Seattle this year or Detroit."

Classy. Don't call out any NL teams, though. Them, you will have to play.


"Expectations might be higher by fans and the media, but you have to play the game, do your job, execute. That's how you justify payroll. It doesn't mean it's automatic."

We all agree it's not automatic. The team needs to try hard and they also need good management.

Can't fire all 25 players, and so on, and so forth.

If it was 1996, he would have struck him out. I remember because I was the catcher.

"His 111th and final pitch was a fastball too high and too fat to get past Jose Guillen, who drilled it into the leftfield seats for a grand slam that put Kansas City up 10-6.

It was a sign of respect for Pettitte that he was allowed to pitch to Guillen, who already had three RBIs on a homer and single. 'I'm going with experience, that's the bottom line,' Joe Girardi said. 'It was Andy's game to win or lose there.' "

Terrible decision by Girardi and pathetic postgame rationale.

Follow your bliss.

"The New York baseball season hasn't happened yet, has it?

Unless you think this is all the Yankees and Mets have.

Really, this is what the baseball season in New York has been so far:

One start for Joba.

All the talk about Willie Randolph's job."

At the time of this writing, the Yankees had played 61 games in the 2008 season.

Lupica was only interested in one of these games.

He missed some very exciting baseball games.

Win or lose, a lot of these games have been interesting.

Hughes, Kennedy, Wang, Rasner, Pettitte, and Mussina are too boring for Lupica to watch. He can't even find a single storyline with any of these non-Joba pitchers ... can you?


"And Hank Steinbrenner talking, constantly, almost every day, every news cycle, as if somebody has injected him with truth serum, talking about everything and everybody as if talking can turn him into his old man."

Hank Steinbrenner is not talking, constantly, almost every day, every news cycle.

You are lying.


"Hank really likes to talk about Joba, especially, about how all the Baseball Experts he knows, and I'll bet he knows a lot of them, tell him that even though Joba has just one big-league start in the books and a handful of starts in the minor leagues, he is a surefire bet to be a stud ace for the next 10 years."

Nobody has said that Joba is going to be a stud ace for the next 10 years.

You are lying again.

You are making up an imaginary counter-argument and then bravely defeating that argument.


Tell us again how Pedro's nine wins per season have been worth it for the Mets. Or how ARod can't field at third base. Or how Coco Crisp is better than Johnny Damon. Or how great Oliver Perez is going to be.

See, Hank Steinbrenner is surely a fool. An easy target. Yet, Steinbrenner accidentally knows more about baseball than Lupica does.


"There is so much that we don't know about these two teams after more than two months of the season."

We?

There is so much we don't know about these two teams?

Speak for yourself.

If you have any questions about the Yankees, you should ask me. I watch a lot of the games or listen on the radio or get a recap online. Because I like to follow baseball.

That guy wearing #14 is Wilson Betemit. No. It's pronounced Bet-E-Mit. Yeah. He was actually on the team last year, too. Yeah, they traded Scott Proctor for him. No, Scott Proctor isn't on the Yankees anymore. He's been gone for a while, actually.


"First there is the business of one last season at Yankee Stadium, one at Shea.

Two old parks.

Two old-looking teams right now.

One game under .500 going into yesterday."

Hughes, Kennedy, Joba, Rasner, Ramirez, Cano, Cabrera ... do the Yankees look old?

They don't look particuarly good ... but do they look old?


What difference does it really make, anyway?

So the Yankees are a .500 team so far.

Maybe they'll be a .500 team this entire season.

If the Yankees win 60 games this season, Lupica will complain that they stink. If the Yankees win 100 games this season, Lupica will complain that they stink. If the Yankees win the World Series, Lupica will complain that they have too many free agents, or something. Lupica has a friend who doesn't like ARod and the Yankees charge too much for their tickets.

We get it, already.

You don't like baseball in general and you don't like the Yankees in particular.

For you, writing about baseball is just a joyless exercise

You are a fraudulent hack who sold out to this Breslin Wannabe shtick.

Are you sure you won a World Series?

I'm almost ten years old and I remember some other shorstops who won World Series.

But I don't remember the Yankees ever winning a World Series.

My daddy says you won the World Series before I was even born.

My daddy says the last time you won the World Series, gas was under $2.00 per gallon.

Are you sure you're really a professional baseball player? Wow! That's neat-o! Can you get Juan Uribe's autograph for me?

Pettitte 2008 again proves he's no Pettitte 1998.

"Farnsworth (0-2) gave up the go-ahead run on a double to Delmon Young to drop the Yankees back below .500 (28-29) and keep the Joba Debate on the front burner going into tonight's game with Toronto."

See, I was thinking that if the Yankees had a quality start, then Farnsworth would have had a 3-run or 4-run lead.

Just like the old days.

It's a museum.

I am going to go out on a limb and predict that Heyman will vote "no" for Gary Sheffield:

"Gary Carter, who tried campaigning for Willie Randolph's job on Sirius Satellite Radio, and also by calling Mets p.r. director Jay Horwitz, later tried to say that's not what he was doing. But it was. He did the same thing when he was looking to get in the Hall of Fame. It worked that time (though not with me. I was so disgusted by his tactics that I voted 'no.')"

It's not even the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame anymore. It's the Good Interview Hall of Fame. The Nice Guy Hall of Fame. The Popularity Contest Hall of Fame. One Time I Saw Kirby Puckett Make A Nice Catch But I Never Paid Attention To Al Oliver Hall of Fame.

Are you sure you're not a shortstop?

Hate to break it to you, kid, but there's also no Santa Claus.


The odd thing is that Dan Graziano warns us that Jeter's defense is a touchy subject. Yankee officials are "afraid" they might "upset or embarrass" Jeter.

There are grown-ups acting like children.

Derek Jeter is not a great fielder and he never has been. I know about the dive into the stands and I also know about the flip. But he has little range and, this season in particular, an erratic arm.

Just watch that games and this is evident.

Yet, we're not allowed to talk about it?