Even the writers step up their game in October.

"Here is the best possible game plan for the Yankees as they go into Philadelphia for Game 3 of what is some World Series already: Mo' offense, less Mo Rivera."

I totally get it, partner.

"Mo" (short for "Mariano") sounds like "More."

Well played, maestro.


"Really, the best way for them to get ahead of the Phillies in the Series is to score so many runs Saturday that Rivera can take the night off."

Score a lot of runs?

Lupica, you are a traitor to New York.

If you publish this "score a lot of runs" theory-- henceforth, known as the Lupica Doctrine -- in a public forum, the Phillies might read about it. Charlie Manuel is probably devising a diabolical counter-stratagem.

Nobody complains during the regular season.

Relevant data.

Where were you the last time Jerry Hairston Jr. had a hit off Pedro Martinez?

The Yankees should probably get Aaron Boone to play third base since they're getting nostalgic.

My impression of Torii Hunter's postgame press conference...

I might have to start rooting for the Nationals.

The NY Yankees' "mess" is as follows:

• Despite a 13-15 start, the Yankees won 103 regular season games.
• After losing their first eight games vs. the Red Sox, the Yankees won nine of their next ten games vs. the Red Sox.
• The Yankees easily won the AL East.
• The Yankees won more regular season games than any team in baseball.
• The Yankees swept the ALDS.
• The Yankees have a 3-2 lead in the ALCS.
• The final two ALCS games are at Yankee Stadium where the Yankees have, like, 18 walkoff wins and where they have won, like, 35 of their last 43.
• Out of the 30 teams in MLB, one has advanced further than the Yankees.
• The Yankees are one win away from the World Series.

Let me repeat that: The Yankees are one win away from the World Series. Pettitte, Sabathia, Rivera ready to go.

Go back to the day when ARod got hip surgery and tell me you wouldn't take this kind of "mess."

Win Game Six .... Or Else Win Game Seven.

"Without a Game 6 win, New York Yankees risk it all against Los Angeles Angels."

Yes.

Also, without a Game 6 win, the Los Angeles Angels risk it all against New York Yankees.

I did the math and it all checked out.


"You're the Yankees and you shouldn't even be playing Game 6, you should have put the Angels away after six runs in the top of the seventh Thursday night. Only you couldn't. The Angels were too tough and proud to let you do it."

Again, I'm not really sure what everybody expected the Angels to do.

Burnett punked out and walked Aybar. Almost hit Aybar with a 3-2 pitch. It was a disgraceful, gutless, choke move by an overrated, knucklehead pitcher who led the league in walks.

I'm not really sure what Aybar was supposed to do with that 3-2 pitch. Ground into a double play because he is weak and meek and wanted to lose the ALCS rather than win the ALCS?


"With next season creeping into Angel Stadium, the Angels got up. The Yankees better put them back down tonight, at the new Yankee Stadium, where they haven't lost a game in this postseason and better not lose one now."

OF COURSE the Yankees want to win game six.

But they have Sabathia at home in game seven.


"If they don't, if they give the Angels another game and another chance and more hope than they have now ... "

So what you're saying, in essence, is that winning is better than losing.

It sounds crazy at first, but I'll have to give it more thought and get back to you.


"But who says Jered Weaver can't give Mike Scioscia seven or eight innings like he gave Scioscia an eighth inning Thursday night? Who says Weaver can't pitch the game of his life? Or John Lackey can't come back with a vengeance if Game 6 is rained out tonight?"

Who says Swisher can't hit three homeruns tonight? Who says Sabathia can't throw a no-hitter on Sunday?


"The Yankees could have won Game 3 and gone on to sweep. Could have closed out the Angels Thursday night. But if A-Rod doesn't hit that home run off Fuentes to tie it in the 11th inning of Game 2, guess what? It is the Yankees who are playing for their season tonight."

Okay, now you're just being a senseless prick.

"If ARod doesn't hit that homerun."

Well, gee. If I had wheels, I'd be a wagon.

The Yankees are 6-2 in the playoffs and both of the losses are one-run losses.

If Vlad didn't hit that homerun; if Swisher had dunked in a single; if Cano had more range to his left or Jeter had more range to his right.

Then, the Yankees are 5-0 vs. the Angels in a best-of-seven series, which is pretty good.


Jeez, I just hope the Yankees score about 22 runs tonight and Girardi spits on a Torre's effigy during the postgame celebration.

I've never seen a fan base so angry about being one win from the Championship series.

Where are the preseason favorites, the New York Mets? They added K-Rod and J. J. Putz.

Speaking of consequences for bad decisions ... was your boss ever reprimanded for hiring a pathetic hack?

"But let's get this out of the way now, so it's not a reactionary thing if the Yankees lose their sixth and seventh consecutive games with the American League pennant within their grasp: So this is not to say that the Yankees will lose this ALCS, but if they do, Joe Girardi should be fired."

Just because the event has not yet taken place ... just because the event may not ever take place ... your proposed reaction to this event is still reactionary.


But Girardi obviously won't be fired, and you're really stupid to suggest that he should be


Also, out of curiosity, who is going to manage the Yankees in 2010 if Girardi is fired? Dallas Green?

It's all Nick Swisher's fault.

"Curled up on couches, the National League champion Philadelphia Phillies must have broken into Cheshire cat grins. These New York Yankees are powerful, but not so perfect after all. These Los Angeles Angels are plucky, but they’ll undo themselves as often as not."

You're wrong.

The Yankees are perfect. Their #8 hitter, Nick Swisher, is the first batter since Ted Williams to bat .400 over the course of an entire season.


"The only thing more promising to the Phillies than watching Angels closer Brian Fuentes try to retire Yankees batter Nick Swisher with the bases loaded and two out in the ninth was watching Swisher try to square up one of Fuentes’ eminently hittable offerings."

Jeez. Batters make outs all the time.

Were the Phillies watching the Yankees put up a six-spot in the 7th inning?


"It was like capping a spectacular meal with stale cake and lukewarm coffee."

I agree. Swisher should have hit a homerun.


"The 7-6 victory Thursday night that kept the Angels alive in the American League Championship Series and forced a Game 6 on Saturday in New York was rife with heroics. It just didn’t end with any."

Unless you're the Angels pitcher.


"Fuentes entered in the ninth and recorded two quick outs, bringing up Alex Rodriguez. Manager Mike Scioscia has zero confidence in Fuentes’ ability to retire the Yankees slugger since their 11th-inning matchup in Game 2 resulted in a home run, so A-Rod was walked intentionally. But rather than attack the left-handed Hideki Matsui, Fuentes picked around the strike zone, walking him. Then he hit Robinson Cano, loading the bases."

Thanks for the recap, Mr. Sports Writer!


"Two teams with questions will go at it at least once more in the ALCS. The team that had all the answers in the NLCS will relax and enjoy watching. Especially if weaknesses continue to be revealed the way they were by Fuentes and Swisher."

Both the AL teams are really good. Not "perfect," but really good.

The teams combined for 13 runs. During the process, 51 players made out, which is typical of major-league baseball games. I don't really know why Swisher's particular would have much of an effect on the outcome of the World Series. Cliff Lee might give up four HRs in the first inning of game one.

For cryin' out loud.

The Yankees have lost one whole playoff game and have two home games remaining in the ALCS. The Yankee starters for those games are Pettitte and Sabathia, not Shawn Chacon and Kevin Brown.

We get it: It's the playoffs. Every game is either pivotal or must-win.

But this particular game is a must-win for the Angels.

It's not a must-win for the Yankees.

Joke Torre.

Just caught a Joe Torre press conference.

Talked about a Springsteen concert and the 1998 Yankees.

Let's go Philly.

You are right, a lot of other people are wrong.

"I'd like to think the above paragraphs will help to put an end to the myth that October is somehow different. Sabathia and Rodriguez had assembled recent track records in postseason play that served to define them as failures in the eyes of many who want to believe that success on a baseball diamond is a moral issue. You cannot evaluate baseball players on a handful of starts or plate appearances, and that remains true no matter the date. Given time, all players perform at their established levels, and that's what we're seeing now from Sabathia and Rodriguez. Would that this lesson took hold, but even I'm not that naïve."

When people say ARod has 5 HRs in his last 7 postseason games, I'd like to remind them that he hit a HR in his final 2007 postseason game.

So it's really 6 HRs in his last 8 postseason games.

Prorate that for a full season, son.

2-for-18.

So, he's a $20 million player choker, right?

Right?

Anybody?

Nobody cares about the $20 million first baseman hitting .111?

Interesting.

So everybody is suddenly aware of the pitfalls of analyzing small sample sizes. Unless we're talking about ARod. Who has to hit a homerun every game.

Today's lesson.

Playoff baseball is the same as regular season baseball.

If your team hits homeruns, then hit homeruns in the playoffs.

Don't waste roster spots on pinch runners.

Jeff Passan says Torre is overrated.

"One look at Alex Rodriguez this postseason, just killing everything he sees, and it’s evident: Something is different. Left unsaid is the reason he dare not mention, because A-Rod has finally learned that sometimes the truth is best read between the lines.

Joe Torre is gone from New York, and the Yankees are better for it."

I actually agree with that conclusion.

First of all, the bullpen management that Girardi is currently being criticized for ... I mean, c'mon, get serious. Torre would have thrown Pettitte for 7 2/3 innings, invoking the 1996 World Series, and then Torre would have brought in Bruney for the rest of the game.

Or, more likely, the Yankees wouldn't have a bullpen. They'd all have been Scott Proctored during the regular season.

Also, while the player is ultimately responsible for their on-field performance, Torre was a prick. Torre only cared about the Four Ring Club and everybody else was treated like a dog.

"It also reinforces the double standard that exists for Torre as he skates to his ninth straight season without a championship after winning four in five years with the Yankees."

That's why it's offensive to listen to Torre continually bring up the past successes. He even did it after the Yankees lost to Detroit in the playoffs.

"Torre starred in a commercial before he managed a game in Los Angeles. He wrote a tell-all book about his decade with the Yankees after spending a year with the Dodgers. Torre is about Torre."

Yep.

"The pregame scouting report, Mr. Torre? Bigelow Tea moved 650,000 units and your cut is $24,000."

" 'Ain’t nothing Mr. Torre can do,' Dodgers second baseman Orlando Hudson said. 'His playing days are over with. All he can do is put the lineup out there and tell us to go about it.

'What can he do? Come over here, bend us all over and spank us?' "

No, he wouldn't bend you over and spank you. He'd ask you to sit on his lap while he tells stories about Warren Spahn.

Perhaps there's nothing Torre can do.

Perhaps managers receive too much credit and too much blame.

If so, Torre may need to refund his $4 million.

Out of curiosity, how many runs were the Yankees going to score in the 12th inning?

And who was going to close the game? Robertson? Aceves? You're 100% sure that strategy would have worked?

At least change the tone of the discussion. The Yankees might have won if Robertson had stayed in the game. There's really no reason to think they would have won.

Maybe Pettitte was supposed to throw 10 innings and 180 pitches, and then Rivera could have pitched the last 2 innings. After the Yankees scored 4 or 5 runs in the 12th.

I also wonder what Lupica would be saying if Robertson had given up a HR to Kendrick.

"Joe! Why didn't you use Aceves?"

The bullpen should never give up a run.

The Yankee bullpen allowed two runs over four innings and it's described as a "collapse." I'd say the Yankee offense "collapsed" over the final six innings.

Joba gives up one run and his outing is described as "disastrous." I'd say Mark Teixeira's offense has been a lot more "disastrous."

When teams lose close games, the manager is often blamed, and the blame is almost always assigned to the last bullpen move. Because the bullpen should have an ERA of 0.00 and your team should always win:

"There are things a manager can do and things he can't do. A manager can't really win any games for his team. But he damned well better not lose any."

Or what?

A 45-year-old with a porn star mustache will write a nasty article in the newspaper?


"Monday, Joe Girardi lost one for the Yankees, 5-4, in 11 innings to the Los Angeles Angels, who now have a reason to believe they can come back and win this thing."

Blame for yesterday's loss, in order:

1) Swisher.

2) Pettitte.

3) Aceves.

4) Joba.

5) Melky.

6) Teixeira.

7) Cashman.

8) Girardi.


"Because despite having swept the first two games in the series and having a golden opportunity to go up 3-0 Monday and put a stranglehold on the Angels and the series, Girardi is the one who managed scared Monday, who managed, in fact, as if it was his team that absolutely could not afford to lose."

Yes, the Yankees had a golden opportunity to take a 3-0 lead, that is definitely true. Swisher really needs to hit a sac fly. The sac fly that will put his team in the World Series.

Or I've got an even better idea, which may sound completely crazy. Ready, everybody? How about a postseason RBI by Robinson Cano?

Girardi's team underperformed and some of his managerial moves backfired. But he wasn't scared.


"If the Yankees lose Tuesday, a definite possibility with Sabathia going on three days' rest and Chad Gaudin the only fresh arm in the bullpen, then we are back to even in this series but with all the momentum flowing back to the Angels."

Hey, Mr. Stupid, all the bullpen arms are fresh. Yesterday, they pitched ten pitches or less.

Oh, and if the Yankees win Tuesday ... a definite possibility with CC Sabathia vs. Scott Kazmir ... a definite possibility with Jeter, Damon, Teixeira, Matsui, Posada, and ARod ... then Girardi is one win from the World Series.


" .... to pulling Johnny Damon for Jerry Hairston Jr. on defense in the 10th, which resulted in a triple-whammy - the loss of the DH, the loss of Damon, who had homered earlier, and the need to pinch hit for Mariano Rivera in the 11th when Mo was still fresh enough to have pitched the 11th."

Mo was still fresh enough to have pitched the 11th?

If that's true, then Mo should be fresh enough to pitch tomorrow.

Which is impossible, since Gaudin is the only fresh bullpen arm.


"Winning the game was the job of the players. Girardi's job was simply not to lose it for them. Monday, he did."

I like how everybody is suddenly a big David Robertson fan. As if removing David Robertson from a tie playoff game is akin to benching Scottie Pippen.


If anything, Girardi's trigger finger was too slow: He removed Pettitte two batters too late and he removed Hughes one batter too late.

The biggest Yankee mistake was Pettitte's 2-2 pitch to Guerrero. This mistake occurred in the sixth inning and maybe that's why everybody has forgotten about it.

On the other side, Scioscia used six pitchers, including one starting pitcher out of the bullpen, and he had another starting pitcher warming up in the bullpen. I suppose Scioscia was managing scared.


My biggest gripe with Girardi's in-game moves is the Gardner pinch-running decision, which may have cost the Yankees the game. No need to get caught stealing. No need to take Matsui out of the game. Sit back and wait for a HR.

I don't know why the playoffs start and teams forget who they are. I don't know why everybody in baseball suddenly over-emphasizes small ball.


Other than that, the biggest mistakes were made before the game even started ... before the series even started.

Three catchers and two pinch runners? The Yankees might have won yesterday if Eric Hinske or Shelley Duncan were on the roster. Maybe Albaladejo or Bruney could have helped out more than Freddy Guzman.

You're bringing up the 1996 World Series?

"Earlier in the afternoon, Torre had declared Game 3 a key to the series.

'It's a momentum changer,' Torre said. 'In the past, I've had (Mike) Mussina pitch in Oakland because he can pitch well there, and we were fortunate to win that game. And David Cone in the '96 World Series, I picked him for Game 3 because he was the only one that had pitched in Atlanta.' "

During the telecast, the broadcasters said that Torre also compared two of the current Dodger players to Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill. Torre also compared Cliff Lee to Warren Spahn.


I mean, how much are the Dodgers paying you to manage their team?

Can't you at least learn the names of the players on your team?

Is this the 2009 NLCS or the Joe Torre Nostalgia Tour?

Let's see ... Rush Limbauh, Isiah Thomas, Pedro Martinez ...

... maybe I'll write something about Alex Rodriguez if I have to:

"Alex Rodriguez keeps saying that when you think hip surgery, you think Bo Jackson, but I'm thinking there have been one or two improvements for fixing hips since Bo went down.

Sounds good, though."

Yeah, ARod is a dick.

Oh, and another thing, ARod may very well be invoking Bo Jackson. I don't know if he keeps saying it, but it's the first I've heard of it.

In fact, I don't think ARod is doing much whining or must chest-thumping.

Just a lot of hitting.

I predict bad grammar.

"The Yankees can't afford to give free bases to the Angels, and they're my pick tonight."

Betcha don't know which team is Jesse Spector's pick to win game two of the ALCS.

It's called a "dangling participle" and, really, Jesse Spector should be fired on the spot.

Save the drama for your mama.

The Yankees had a three-run lead in the ninth inning and Mariano Rivera came in to close the game.

Mariano, of course, has a career postseason ERA of 0.74.

Mariano walked the first batter (squeezed by the home plate ump, if you ask me) and then got three easy outs.

After Vlad k'd, Juan Rivera was the batter with the dangerous Kendry Morales on deck.

As a Yankee fan viewing the action, I felt quite comfortable.

Naturally, anything can happen, but there's really nothing more a team can ask for than to have a three-run lead in the ninth inning with Mariano on the mound. Other than a four-run lead with Mariano on the mound. Or a five-run lead with Mariano on the mound. Or a ten-run lead with Mariano on the mound.

Anyway, Joe Buck pointed out that Kendry Morales had 34 HRs this year and, you know, the Angels weren't out of it.

I'm not sure if Buck is creating drama, which is part of his job, or just wishfully rooting against the Yankees, which often seems like it's part of his job.

But, just to counteract the danger of Morales's 34 HRs in 2009, I'd like to present a few Mariano Rivera stats:

1) 22 HRs allowed lifetime vs. lefties in 2,106 at-bats.

2) 2 postseason HRs allowed.

3) 0 postseason HRs allowed vs. lefties.

Good luck, Kendry. You'll need it.

Third in the league in steals, first in the league in caught stealing.

The team that hits the most HRs will win the ALCS.

So what you're saying is that the best way to get Alex Rodriguez out is to make good pitches ...

... it sounds crazy, but let me think about it:

"In their scouting report for that first-round playoff series, according to a person with knowledge of it at the time, the Angels told their pitchers that it was crucial to pound A-Rod inside with fastballs, the goal being to make him so inside-conscious that it affects his approach."

In other words, if Rodriguez was worried enough about being pitched hard inside, then he might not react as well to fastballs and breaking stuff on the outer half of the plate, where he is most dangerous." I think that goes for ARod and every other player who every played baseball.

It's called "pitching."


"As a scout from a different AL team said yesterday: 'The book on (A-Rod) hasn't changed over the years. You need to come inside hard, above the hands. That's where his hole (in his swing) is. If you get his attention in there, then you have a better chance of getting him to chase breaking stuff away.' "

Just don't miss, or ARod might hit it very far.


Good work, by the way, John Harper.

Very timely analysis of Alex Rodriguez's swing, and very revealing.

Breaking news: The book on Mariano Rivera is that he throws a cut fastball. So, look out for the cut fastball.

Bill Plaschke questions Joe Torre's baseball managerial decisions.

So why did you leave Kershaw in to pitch to Howard?:

"You know, to me he's a starting pitcher in Game 1, so I felt that's what I wanted to do."

Nice.

I'm not even saying it was a bad managerial move. I'm just saying it's completely pointless to ask Joe Torre to explain his managerial decisions. He has no idea what you're talking about.

When Plaschke first asked Torre why he left Kershaw in the game, Torre responded, "Who?"

An admittedly obscure message for Joe Mauer.

Vladimir Guerrero finally gets a big postseason hit.

Which must mean one thing: Kate Hudson is a slut.

In Little League, I was taught to keep my eye on the ball.

Nice catch on the "triple" in the sixth inning, too, you bum.

Let Damon get it.

.125.

Will Torre move Manny down in the batting order?

Yup.

"They had just parted with Manager Joe Torre. They had lost their third division series in a row, chiefly because their No. 1 starter, Chien-Ming Wang, had been trounced twice. They needed an ace like the Twins’ Johan Santana, and the general partner Hank Steinbrenner wanted him badly.

Yet, the Yankees made no deal. They had the money to pay Santana, and the prospects to get him, starting with pitcher Phil Hughes. But General Manager Brian Cashman never authorized a formal trade proposal because he saw another pitcher on the horizon: C. C. Sabathia.

...

The wait was painful. The Yankees missed the playoffs in 2008, winning 89 games but never seriously contending. Santana had 16 wins for the Mets. Hughes had none for the Yankees."

And now Santana is injured.

It's Girardi's fault.

"And yet for one or two games in this AL division series they will be starting a catcher, Jose Molina, who is batting .217 with a .268 slugging percentage, who can barely make it from first to third on those rare occasions when he gets on base.

For this development, you can't blame Molina, who is doing his best."

That's kind of presumptuous, but nobody questioned his effort, just his ability.

I see no reason to pick Molina over Cervelli for backup catcher.

"You can't blame Jorge Posada, who has worked hard all season to climb on the same page with A.J. Burnett."

Again, somewhat presumptuous, but it's not even worth discussing.

I could call a big-league ballgame for A.J. Burnett: "Stop walking people, you tattooed, overrated, overpaid piece of garbage."


"You can't blame Joe Girardi at this late stage. He is simply trying to coax a decent playoff start out of his No. 2 pitcher, hoping to make Burnett more comfortable."

Of course Girardi deserves the blame.

For the sake of argument, let's just say that Burnett has trouble communicating with Posada. Once Girardi is aware of this, then one of the priorities for the rest of the season is to improve communication between Burnett and Posada. Molina should have never caught Burnett again.

Because the playoffs are coming and it's important for Posada to catch when Burnett is pitching.

Because you don't want to play the catcher with the .268 slugging percentage.

One star.

It is quite true the Yankees are not infallible.

The top three issues are not Sabathia, ARod, and Girardi.

John Flaherty Redux.

The last time Posada was benched in the playoffs, the Yankee pitcher gave up 5 runs in 3 innings.

What about Justin Verlander and Ron Gardenhire?

Now the Yankees are a "lock."


That's not what Lupica said on TV the same day.

But, whatever.

When you pick both sides of an argument, you can never be wrong.

Lupica: Mariano Rivera is good.

Of course, Lupica is one of the few people in the Universe who has suggested on numerous occasions that Papelbon is better.

So, yeah.

Lupica is a liar and a hypocrite.


"He struggles in one or two games early in the season, and people start saying he's done. Then he pitches the way he pitched this season and he's back to being as great as ever."

Right.

The "people" who start saying he's done.

People such as Mike Lupica.

"Sometimes you think: If he doesn't give up the home run to Sandy Alomar in Game 4 of the ALDS in 1997 … if he gets out of it against the Diamondbacks somehow … if he doesn't walk Kevin Millar to start the bottom of the ninth in Game 4 in '04 … then maybe he has won seven World Series already with the Yankees.

Well, since 4 + 3 = 7, then he'd probably have won 7 World Series with the Yankees.

Of course, in 1997, the Yankees would have still have had to win two more rounds. But I'll give them the victory over the Cardinals in 2004 ... though it's a bit dismissive of a team that won 105 games in the regular season.

So, what's your point? Did you just want to prove you can perform simple arithmetic?


I mean, that's how the playoffs work in baseball. If you win every series, you win the World Series and you're the champion. If you lose, then you're not the champion.

If Rocker, Benitez, Hoffman, and Wohlers could have closed out their games, then maybe Mariano has zero rings.

Remember me?

I just think it's funny that none of the unofficial AL Cy Young "polls" list Halladay as a candidate.

Uh oh.

New rule: No more ex-catchers for managers.

Seriously, if Gir-orre actually starts Molina behind the plate for a single playoff game, I truly hope the starting pitcher gives up 14 runs in the first inning, killing once and for all the absurd notion of the importance of "calling a game."

"Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for."

Words of wisdom.

The Dodgers have waited 20 years for a World Series title.

Here's to making it 21 years.

"Whatever the ideal onomatopoeia for regurgitation – is it blergh, or mmblah, or rawlf, or huaaaa?"

The ideal onomatopoeia for regurgitation is blergh.


"The Central could today find its prom king, and he is riddled with acne, bad grades and a hooptie. The Detroit Tigers are a feel-good story, conquerors from a conquered city, and if this afternoon they beat their greatest challenger, the Minnesota Twins – braces, trombone player, never kissed a girl – they will win the division and start the postseason at Yankee Stadium."

Jeez, the Yankees are the clear favorites, but the Tigers aren't that bad.