A.J. Burnett is probably going to win 20 games in 2011.

"A. J. Burnett made sure to stop by outfielder Greg Golson’s locker in the Yankees’ clubhouse Monday morning to check on him after a scary moment Sunday, when Burnett beaned him in batting practice."

Chipper Jones was hatched from an egg.

Which now means that somebody on the Internet has claimed that Chipper Jones was not born from a female human, but rather hatched from an egg. Maybe a sportswriter should waste everybody's time and write a column which disputes the notion that Chipper Jones was hatched from an egg:

"When an athlete pushing 39 has reconstructive knee surgery, the tendency is to speak about them in past tense. Or worse. Some cynics not only question Jones physically, they wonder if money is his primary motivation. This accusation generally comes from the short-sighted, ignorant and disturbed segment of the populace that vents on sports talk radio and posts comments on blogs, all behind the comfort of anonymity."

I don't have an ear to the ground regarding Atlanta Braves blogs, but I doubt very much if a large number of "short-sighted, ignorant and disturbed segments of the populace" are "generally" claiming that Chipper Jones is a sellout who is playing for money.

Even if there was, why would you list these people as a source? Why would you feel the need to rebuke anonymous so-called sources? Especially since the people who vent about the Atlanta Braves on sports talk radio and leave comments on Atlanta Braves blogs ... well ... they're the same short-sighted, ignorant, and disturbed people who are likely to read your column.

I briefly listened to ESPN radio this morning.

The morning show is Mike and Mike.

This is a synopsis of the show:


Mike: Albert Pujols is worth $280 million.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

Mike: Yes, he is.

Mike: No, he isn't.

We'll be back after these messages.

Popcorn.

The rites of Spring, indeed, as the snow melts, the pitchers & catchers report, and Mike Lupica writes ignorant things about baseball:

"It was reported afterward that A-Rod was furious that the television cameras had shown him eating popcorn this way, as if he were somehow allowed to act surprised that a star New York Yankee with a movie-star girlfriend sitting in some big-ticket suite might be on a cameraman's radar.

Really?

Sometimes you wonder if the guy will ever get it."

First of all, "it was reported" is not much of a source.

Secondly, if you don't care, I don't care.

Since I'm a grown man and a baseball fan, I don't really care about Cameron Diaz and popcorn. It's not why I'm reading a baseball article in the Daily News.


"But you know what? The popcorn moment was the closest A-Rod came to making real news in this baseball winter dominated by just about everybody except him."

"Just about everybody" except ARod.

This baseball winter was dominated by "just about everybody" in the baseball universe except for ARod.

This baseball winter was dominated by Jorge Cantu. It was dominated by the Jonathan Albaladejo. It was dominated by Russ Springer -- I can't believe how Russ Springer became a national story, dominating headlines from coast to coast.

That's just a start. There are thousands of players who dominated the baseball winter news ... until the "popcorn moment" stole the headlines.


"They need him to do better than 30 home runs with Mark Teixeira hitting in front of him. Do better than .270. We obsessed all winter about Jeter's stats and how Jeter is in decline after a year when the Yankee shortstop hit .270."

Infantile analysis. Completely embarrassing.

As if batting average was the be-all and the end-all. Dismissive of ARod's 30/125; ignoring Jeter's lack of production; wild overrating of Teixeira (the worst #3 hitter in 2010?).

Stick with the gossip pages, Miss Lupica.

That is very fatty muscle.

"Chamberlain showed up to the Yankees minor-league complex noticeably bigger. He looks like he's gained 10-15 pounds. That may set off alarm bells in Yankeeland, but he has seven weeks to lose the weight, and it's not like he's the size of David Wells.

Chamberlain said he is unsure what he weighs right now and attributed the weight gain to the gym he added to his house."

Because nicknames are important.

"Still, Swisher said he believes the Yankees will 'fit in the pieces where needed,' and he expressed confidence in the 24-year-old Nova.

'I call him "Super Nova," ' the All-Star outfielder said."

Your nickname is incorrect.

His name is Aldo.