Thanks for the free advertising, by the way.

"Praise the Lord and pass the checkbook, if the Yankees outbid everybody for this kid Tanaka, perhaps our long national nightmare — and obsession — about a $189 million payroll for the Yankees might finally come to an end."

I don't quite understand the focus on $189 million, either. I always considered it a negotiation tactic more than anything else, though there may be some movement to cut payroll slightly.

Tanaka will sign with the Red Sox, which will trigger effusive Cherington praise from Lupica, and then Tanaka will be a disappointment in the American major leagues. That's my prediction.


"The coverage, of course, will be that Hal Steinbrenner has finally come to his senses, as if the Yankees going past $200 million again guarantees them World Series No. 28."

The coverage will be the Yankees are a third-place team.

No legitimate source in the entire world will guarantee a World Series for the Yankees.


"But Hal Steinbrenner has a right to look at the bottom line on his own bottom line."

No, he doesn't.

It is against the New York State Constitution for Hal Steinbrenner to look at the (ahem) bottom line on his own bottom line.


"He has a right to look back over the past decade, just since the luxury tax found its way into Major League Baseball, and not only see the $250 million the Yankees have had to shell out because of that tax (out of a total of $280 million in all of baseball), but the $200 million-plus his team pays out every single year in payroll.

You do the math on that."

No.

You do the math.

The big boy math.

Revenue, expenses, income before interest and taxes, return on investment, return on equity, total assets, etc.


"Oh sure, go ahead, do the math on payroll plus taxes as you remember that the Yankees since 2000 have won the same number of World Series as the Marlins and White Sox, one fewer than the Cardinals, two fewer than the Red Sox.

Steinbrenner has been portrayed as some kind of narrow-minded cheapskate for asking his baseball people to just spend an amount of money that is more than any team in baseball — other than his own — has ever spent on a World Series-winning team, in all of baseball history."

I have not seen any person describe Steinbrenner as a narrow-minded cheapskate.

Nor have I seen any person guarantee a World Series championship for the Yankees.  90 wins is the most optimistic prediction I have seen, and that included Tanaka.

Everyone knows the Yankees are not winning championships and everyone knows they are no longer a top-tier team. Lupica is either arguing with the Yankees PR crew or with voices in his head.

As for the success of the past decade, measure it in franchise value and it has been incredibly successful. The real story is that this asset train keeps rolling along despite a lack of titles.

Who watches the watchmen?

Sportswriters judging the character of baseball players.

Sportswriters, who seemingly rate a player based on the player's willingness to conduct locker room interviews.  I'm surprised sometimes that they let Eddie Murray in.

"Need" is a funny word.

Not sure why the consensus seems to be the Yankees "need" a Japanese pitcher.

The thing is, it's only $20 million.

Bartolo Colon's contract is smaller than Phil Hughes's.

It's lot of things, but it certainly is not a blockbuster contract:

"So perhaps it’s appropriate the Mets celebrated this milestone anniversary by blowing the dust off that wallet Sherman referred to and signing Bartolo Colon to the kind of two-year, $20 million deal that had disappeared from their arsenal not long after however many hundreds of millions of dollars disappeared from their Madoff accounts.


Maybe this really is a sign the Mets are back in the business of brandishing, pairing the Colon signing with Curtis Granderson and seemingly stating, for the first time in forever, Madoff’s $50 billion lie finally has stopped chiseling away at their finances and their foundation."

It's a low-risk, low-money, probably low-reward contract.

In terms of 2013 MLB, it's not a blockbuster. You'll need to add another zero to the $20.

Marvin Miller is an American hero and a savior of Major League baseball. Bill Madden? Not so much.

The sport Marvin Miller saved allows Human Garbage like Bill Madden to make a living, and that's kind of a shame:

"You want to know why Miller, who missed by only one vote in the last Expansion Era election three years ago, didn't come close this time? You probably need to look no further than his repeated statements prior to his death in November 2012, decrying the players union's agreement to drug testing."

1) Miller was 100% correct. You want a drug test, you get a Court order.

2) Doesn't explain why Miller wasn't elected long before 2012.

"Almost to a man, the Hall-of-Fame players have condemned the alleged steroids cheats — Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Roger Clemens et al, who have obliterated their records or passed many of them on the all-time lists — and Miller's adamant stance against taking measures to clean up the game has diminished him despite all his accomplishments on their behalf."

Colon to the Mets!

Because Bill Madden cares about ethics!

Or maybe Madden just has an affinity for colons, since he's a 6-foot piece of crap.


"And lest anyone still believes this is still an owners' conspiracy to keep Miller out of the Hall of Fame, again, there were only four owner/executives on the 16-man committee. The rest were either senior baseball writers, historians or former managers. It was not much different from the first Veterans Committee ballot Miller appeared on in 2001, which then was comprised of all the living Hall-of-Famers, most of them former players who were Miller's constituents, and he fell short by more than 10% of the necessary 75%."

No one said Hall of Fame ballplayers were intelligent people.

They owe Marvin Miller just about everything, and so does Bill Madden.

If Hell has a newspaper, Bill Madden will have all Eternity to write its Ethics column.

Curtis Granderson

If you want to improve your status in the Daily News, simply sign with the Mets.

Andy Martino compares Granderson to HOFer Catfish Hunter:

"When Hunter signed a then-historic five-year, $3.35 million contract with the Yankees before the 1975 season, his arrival augered a better age for a team emerging from its darkest phase.  The onetime Oakland ace ended up a pedestrian 63-53 for the Yanks, though he contributed in key moments.
But that was hardly the point.  Hunter was George Steinbrenner’s first big catch, before Reggie, Goose, or any of the others who headlined the late-70s dynasty. Catfish was the beginning of Yankees spending, the true end of the doldrums of CBS ownership, the signal that the team was emerging again.

Thirty years later, the Mets employed this same approach, using significant offers to Pedro Martinez and Carlos Beltran to signify that they were back after a few seasons behind the shadows, ready for relevance in the Omar Minaya age.  That plan never resulted in a championship, but did give the team and it’s fans several years of intrigue and excitement. Martinez and Beltran were worthwhile contracts for the Mets, and the latter was greatest free agent acquisition in franchise history."

I get what he's trying to say, but Granderson is not that thing.

Also, the Mets signing of Pedro was a disaster.  $50 million for 32 wins.


Lupica's predictable endorsement of All Things Mets feels like the Geno Smith Kiss of Death:

"Curtis Granderson won’t hit as many pitching-wedge shots over the wall at Citi Field, but he will help the Mets a lot, and probably go back to being the kind of hitter he was when he was with Detroit."


Granderson hasn't been a Tiger since 2009.

Why would a 33-year-old be as productive as he was at his peak at the age of 26? 

At the end of this contract, the 36-year-old injury-prone OFer is going to hit 20 triples just because CitiField plays large in the power alleys?

Granderson's age is a non-issue, but age is all you hear about when the subject is Beltran, Ellsbury, Soriano, etc.



I am not slagging on Granderson. I think it was a good signing for the Mets and would be a good signing for any team.  (Same goes for Ellsbury, McCann, and Beltran.)

Thing is, Granderson is not the Pied Piper putting an entire sub-.500 franchise on his shoulders.  Fans aren't going to clock to CitiField to see the 100th-best player in baseball.

Granderson is also not the owner of a time machine.

The Daily News is simply insistent on pushing a pro-Mets/anti-Yankee agenda.

Should the Yankees sign Bartolo Colon?

Bill Madden wants the Mets to sign Colon.

I have a hunch that Madden wouldn't even consider Colon for the Yankees because Colon is too old for the Yankees and too suspended by MLB. Is there a single player that Madden wants the Mets to sign who is not a steroid cheat?

I just heard the song "Car Wash" in the supermarket.

I was thinking the hand claps at the beginning are probably sampled a lot.

What does that have to do with baseball?

Alex Rodriguez:

"Maybe Yankee fans can start organizing weekend car wash events if that’s what it will take for their team to pay off Alex Rodriguez and tell him to go away."

I don't get it.

 

I get what Lupica is trying to say ... Yankee fans don't want ARod around anymore.  

 

But I don't get why he brought up a car wash.  

 

Is that supposed to be funny?

Besides, the Yankees probably have money-printing machines right behind Monument Park (yuck yuck).

 

 

"This isn’t about whether the Yankees can afford Cano; of course they can afford him, they’re the Yankees and probably have money-printing machines behind Monument Park."

 

Exactly!

 

"But Cano’s contract will be a bad one at the back end the way CC Sabathia’s will be a bad contract at the end, the way Rodriguez’s contract turned out to be the worst contract in all of world history.

So here’s the deal if they do go to eight years and $200 million at the end:

When he breaks down in three or four years, nobody is allowed to be surprised."
 

Like every Yankee and every non-Yankee.  But I don't recall the same scrutiny applied to Johan Santana, Dustin Pedroia, and David Wright.

 

In fact, it would be amusing if Cano actually signed with the Mets. In Lupica World, Cano would instantly go from overrated and overpaid to the Greatest Athlete in New York History (outside of Geno Smith and Tony Womack).