Let's see ... Rush Limbauh, Isiah Thomas, Pedro Martinez ...

... maybe I'll write something about Alex Rodriguez if I have to:

"Alex Rodriguez keeps saying that when you think hip surgery, you think Bo Jackson, but I'm thinking there have been one or two improvements for fixing hips since Bo went down.

Sounds good, though."

Yeah, ARod is a dick.

Oh, and another thing, ARod may very well be invoking Bo Jackson. I don't know if he keeps saying it, but it's the first I've heard of it.

In fact, I don't think ARod is doing much whining or must chest-thumping.

Just a lot of hitting.

I predict bad grammar.

"The Yankees can't afford to give free bases to the Angels, and they're my pick tonight."

Betcha don't know which team is Jesse Spector's pick to win game two of the ALCS.

It's called a "dangling participle" and, really, Jesse Spector should be fired on the spot.

Save the drama for your mama.

The Yankees had a three-run lead in the ninth inning and Mariano Rivera came in to close the game.

Mariano, of course, has a career postseason ERA of 0.74.

Mariano walked the first batter (squeezed by the home plate ump, if you ask me) and then got three easy outs.

After Vlad k'd, Juan Rivera was the batter with the dangerous Kendry Morales on deck.

As a Yankee fan viewing the action, I felt quite comfortable.

Naturally, anything can happen, but there's really nothing more a team can ask for than to have a three-run lead in the ninth inning with Mariano on the mound. Other than a four-run lead with Mariano on the mound. Or a five-run lead with Mariano on the mound. Or a ten-run lead with Mariano on the mound.

Anyway, Joe Buck pointed out that Kendry Morales had 34 HRs this year and, you know, the Angels weren't out of it.

I'm not sure if Buck is creating drama, which is part of his job, or just wishfully rooting against the Yankees, which often seems like it's part of his job.

But, just to counteract the danger of Morales's 34 HRs in 2009, I'd like to present a few Mariano Rivera stats:

1) 22 HRs allowed lifetime vs. lefties in 2,106 at-bats.

2) 2 postseason HRs allowed.

3) 0 postseason HRs allowed vs. lefties.

Good luck, Kendry. You'll need it.

Third in the league in steals, first in the league in caught stealing.

The team that hits the most HRs will win the ALCS.

So what you're saying is that the best way to get Alex Rodriguez out is to make good pitches ...

... it sounds crazy, but let me think about it:

"In their scouting report for that first-round playoff series, according to a person with knowledge of it at the time, the Angels told their pitchers that it was crucial to pound A-Rod inside with fastballs, the goal being to make him so inside-conscious that it affects his approach."

In other words, if Rodriguez was worried enough about being pitched hard inside, then he might not react as well to fastballs and breaking stuff on the outer half of the plate, where he is most dangerous." I think that goes for ARod and every other player who every played baseball.

It's called "pitching."


"As a scout from a different AL team said yesterday: 'The book on (A-Rod) hasn't changed over the years. You need to come inside hard, above the hands. That's where his hole (in his swing) is. If you get his attention in there, then you have a better chance of getting him to chase breaking stuff away.' "

Just don't miss, or ARod might hit it very far.


Good work, by the way, John Harper.

Very timely analysis of Alex Rodriguez's swing, and very revealing.

Breaking news: The book on Mariano Rivera is that he throws a cut fastball. So, look out for the cut fastball.

Bill Plaschke questions Joe Torre's baseball managerial decisions.

So why did you leave Kershaw in to pitch to Howard?:

"You know, to me he's a starting pitcher in Game 1, so I felt that's what I wanted to do."

Nice.

I'm not even saying it was a bad managerial move. I'm just saying it's completely pointless to ask Joe Torre to explain his managerial decisions. He has no idea what you're talking about.

When Plaschke first asked Torre why he left Kershaw in the game, Torre responded, "Who?"

An admittedly obscure message for Joe Mauer.

Vladimir Guerrero finally gets a big postseason hit.

Which must mean one thing: Kate Hudson is a slut.

In Little League, I was taught to keep my eye on the ball.

Nice catch on the "triple" in the sixth inning, too, you bum.

Let Damon get it.

.125.

Will Torre move Manny down in the batting order?

Yup.

"They had just parted with Manager Joe Torre. They had lost their third division series in a row, chiefly because their No. 1 starter, Chien-Ming Wang, had been trounced twice. They needed an ace like the Twins’ Johan Santana, and the general partner Hank Steinbrenner wanted him badly.

Yet, the Yankees made no deal. They had the money to pay Santana, and the prospects to get him, starting with pitcher Phil Hughes. But General Manager Brian Cashman never authorized a formal trade proposal because he saw another pitcher on the horizon: C. C. Sabathia.

...

The wait was painful. The Yankees missed the playoffs in 2008, winning 89 games but never seriously contending. Santana had 16 wins for the Mets. Hughes had none for the Yankees."

And now Santana is injured.

It's Girardi's fault.

"And yet for one or two games in this AL division series they will be starting a catcher, Jose Molina, who is batting .217 with a .268 slugging percentage, who can barely make it from first to third on those rare occasions when he gets on base.

For this development, you can't blame Molina, who is doing his best."

That's kind of presumptuous, but nobody questioned his effort, just his ability.

I see no reason to pick Molina over Cervelli for backup catcher.

"You can't blame Jorge Posada, who has worked hard all season to climb on the same page with A.J. Burnett."

Again, somewhat presumptuous, but it's not even worth discussing.

I could call a big-league ballgame for A.J. Burnett: "Stop walking people, you tattooed, overrated, overpaid piece of garbage."


"You can't blame Joe Girardi at this late stage. He is simply trying to coax a decent playoff start out of his No. 2 pitcher, hoping to make Burnett more comfortable."

Of course Girardi deserves the blame.

For the sake of argument, let's just say that Burnett has trouble communicating with Posada. Once Girardi is aware of this, then one of the priorities for the rest of the season is to improve communication between Burnett and Posada. Molina should have never caught Burnett again.

Because the playoffs are coming and it's important for Posada to catch when Burnett is pitching.

Because you don't want to play the catcher with the .268 slugging percentage.

One star.

It is quite true the Yankees are not infallible.

The top three issues are not Sabathia, ARod, and Girardi.

John Flaherty Redux.

The last time Posada was benched in the playoffs, the Yankee pitcher gave up 5 runs in 3 innings.

What about Justin Verlander and Ron Gardenhire?

Now the Yankees are a "lock."


That's not what Lupica said on TV the same day.

But, whatever.

When you pick both sides of an argument, you can never be wrong.

Lupica: Mariano Rivera is good.

Of course, Lupica is one of the few people in the Universe who has suggested on numerous occasions that Papelbon is better.

So, yeah.

Lupica is a liar and a hypocrite.


"He struggles in one or two games early in the season, and people start saying he's done. Then he pitches the way he pitched this season and he's back to being as great as ever."

Right.

The "people" who start saying he's done.

People such as Mike Lupica.

"Sometimes you think: If he doesn't give up the home run to Sandy Alomar in Game 4 of the ALDS in 1997 … if he gets out of it against the Diamondbacks somehow … if he doesn't walk Kevin Millar to start the bottom of the ninth in Game 4 in '04 … then maybe he has won seven World Series already with the Yankees.

Well, since 4 + 3 = 7, then he'd probably have won 7 World Series with the Yankees.

Of course, in 1997, the Yankees would have still have had to win two more rounds. But I'll give them the victory over the Cardinals in 2004 ... though it's a bit dismissive of a team that won 105 games in the regular season.

So, what's your point? Did you just want to prove you can perform simple arithmetic?


I mean, that's how the playoffs work in baseball. If you win every series, you win the World Series and you're the champion. If you lose, then you're not the champion.

If Rocker, Benitez, Hoffman, and Wohlers could have closed out their games, then maybe Mariano has zero rings.

Remember me?

I just think it's funny that none of the unofficial AL Cy Young "polls" list Halladay as a candidate.

Uh oh.

New rule: No more ex-catchers for managers.

Seriously, if Gir-orre actually starts Molina behind the plate for a single playoff game, I truly hope the starting pitcher gives up 14 runs in the first inning, killing once and for all the absurd notion of the importance of "calling a game."

"Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for."

Words of wisdom.

The Dodgers have waited 20 years for a World Series title.

Here's to making it 21 years.

"Whatever the ideal onomatopoeia for regurgitation – is it blergh, or mmblah, or rawlf, or huaaaa?"

The ideal onomatopoeia for regurgitation is blergh.


"The Central could today find its prom king, and he is riddled with acne, bad grades and a hooptie. The Detroit Tigers are a feel-good story, conquerors from a conquered city, and if this afternoon they beat their greatest challenger, the Minnesota Twins – braces, trombone player, never kissed a girl – they will win the division and start the postseason at Yankee Stadium."

Jeez, the Yankees are the clear favorites, but the Tigers aren't that bad.