Joel Sherman tries to put weekend series in perspective.

Joel is on a roll.

Apparently running out of baseball metaphors, Joel Sherman is forced to expand his vocabulary.

First, he takes on the Miracle of Life:

"I appreciate that this is Yankees-Red Sox, Fenway Park and the AL East is still to be determined. But forgive me if another three-game series does not exactly get me feeling as if my wife better not go into labor this weekend."

Item! Joel Sherman has a wife!

Item! Joel Sherman's wife is pregnant!


Then, he zings the World of Entertainment by mocking vanity ("Part of it is that the Yanks and Red Sox now see each other more often than Jennifer Lopez and a mirror") and comedic actors ("Nevertheless, do you think it is more likely that Red Sox-Yankees will be on your TV come mid-October or that horrible, new Jason Alexander series?") and, just when you thought Joel couldn't be any more hip, he throws out a reference to your favorite R-rated horror movie ("Say this about the Red Sox, they have some Freddy Krueger in them. They don't die easily. Maybe they will inflict their Nightmare on Lansdowne Street this weekend ... )".

No he di'nt! Joel Sherman did not just dis Jennifer Lopez and Jason Alexander! Oh, snap!

"Nightmare on Lansdowne Street" is like that movie "Nightmare on Elm Street" except, since Fenway Park is located on Lansdowne Street, he changed it to "Nightmare on Lansdowne Street." Get it?


Sherman then commits the Cardinal Sin of Metaphors by comparing his crystal clear primary subject matter to a muddy metaphor. Unless the reader happens to be a fan of tennis from the 1970s, they will have no idea what he's talking about:

"The same could have been said for Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova. But since those two great champions played 80 times, there was some point at which you had to separate playing on the hard court at Amelia Island with playing at Wimbledon. For the Yankees and Red Sox, this weekend is some more Amelia Island. Three weeks from now is Wimbledon."

What the heck is Amelia Island? I have no idea.

Sherman's point is that this weekend series vs. Boston is not as important as the American League Championship Series.

While this is obviously true, a Tennis Metaphor just makes it less obvious.

Even if we take the wild leap of faith that both Boston and NY make if past the first round and meet in the ALCS, it won't be comparable to Wimbledon. Yankees vs. Red Sox in the ALCS is hardly Wimbledon. Certainly not for baseball fans who are reading Joel Sherman's baseball column.

Wimbledon is about as important to me as the latest Guthy Renker infomercial.