Thursday, June 15, 2006

Accentuate The Positive, Eliminate The Negative.

Commissioner Lurch always finds the black cloud in the silver lining:

"Dear Baseball Fans:

Major League Baseball has had record attendance for two years running and may set another record this year. It's early, but pennant and wild-card races are competitive throughout our divisions. Baseball is enjoying a golden age of fan support and excitement. Our great game has never been more popular."


Yes. Yes! YES!!!

Maybe he's learning.

Baseball sure is a great game, isn't it?


"Yet, despite the good news in Baseball, there are problems."


No. No! NO!!!

You're the commissioner. You're the CEO. You're the #1 Salesguy.

Never use the word "problem." Ever.

It's a challenge. It's an unfortunate occurrence. It's an improvement opportunity.


"I was disappointed and angered by revelations that a Major League player had acknowledged using human growth hormone (HGH), a performance-enhancing substance banned by Major League Baseball, and had said that others were using HGH as well."

Dude: "Buzz kill."

Will you just stop it?

You reluctantly talked about the great game of baseball for one whole paragraph. Then you dive into a full page of the problems.

Bud, all the cynical sportswriters have got the negative publicity thing covered. Your job is to get in a Cadillac and follow Barry Bonds around from city to city, offering $100,000 to anybody who catches a HR ball.

It's the Bud-N-Barry "I Live For This!" Tour.


Now contrast Fuddy Duddy Bud with Robert Johnson, announcing the hiring of failed basketball executive Michael Jordan:

"I'm thrilled to have my friend, Michael Jordan, join me in my business and sports pursuits. I not only respect Michael for his basketball knowledge and expertise, but also for his business skills, particularly in branding and marketing.

Michael will provide invaluable management input to a Bobcats team that is poised to deliver results for the 2006-2007 season and beyond."

See? That's not so hard.

Whatever you do, never bring up last season's 26 wins.

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