Mike Lupica knows nothing about jurisprudence or journalism.

1) You can't prove a negative.

2) When nothing happens, it isn't news.

Alex Rodriguez has been accused of nothing. Therefore, there is nothing to deny. It's a fake story.

If the moon isn't made of green cheese, then why haven't scientists denied that the moon is made of green cheese?

Why hasn't ARod talked to the feds? Maybe he doesn't want to. He has the right to remain silent. It doesn't mean he's guilty; it means he's smart.

"You are supposed to believe that Rodriguez not flying up to Buffalo this week to talk to the feds was somehow by mutual consent. Right. Here's the mutual consent, so you know: Rodriguez's lawyers talked them out of it.

Oh, sure. The lawyers didn't want their Yankee star being walked into a courthouse or wherever the meeting was going to take place like it was some kind of perp walk, for an investigation A-Rod keeps saying is about somebody else.

So the interview was pushed back. Again. The longer this plays out (it seems harder for the feds and A-Rod to sit down than it was for A-Rod to finally win himself a World Series), the more you wonder how much we might be dealing with star-struck investigators here.

Really: How come Beltran and Reyes were able to fit this in and Rodriguez hasn't? They've had the whole month of March, and now you start to think that 'Dancing With the Stars' will be over before Rodriguez's own dance with the feds might be.

If Rodriguez's story is so innocent, if he only needed Dr. Galea to give him any kind of treatment — with anti-inflammatory pills or platelets that he could have gotten from the Yankee team doctor or at any big hospital in the big bad city — how come it is taking him so long to tell it?"

You know what you should do, Lupica? Use the "Dancing With the Stars" reference again. Your pop culture references are sliding to depths on par with your journalistic skills.