Even better than Spring Training games.

I have suspected for a while that sportswriters were completely disconnected from the public. I now have some numerical evidence.

While the WBC is being endlessly praised, the overall ratings on ESPN were 1.1, with the finals receiving a whopping 1.8, which may or may not have beat Knight Rider reruns on channel 55.

I'm not talking about the ratings in Cuba or Japan. I'm talking about the ratings in the USA.

I'm talking about the supposed audience of Kevin Kernan (yet another WBC article), Jon Heyman, John Donovan (with a pat on the head to those cute little Japanese players), Ken Rosenthal (Guess why Japan won? Small ball!), some chick named Janie, and dozens more just like them.


You know what, John Donovan? Two words that prove Japan is not the best baseball-playing nation in the World: Hideki Irabu. Two more words: Tuffy Rhodes.


Were the WBC games exciting? No, not really.

Were they well-attended? No, not really. Unless you're impressed by 737,000 attendees at 39 games. 39 x 2 = 78, so I know right away it's less than 20,000 per game.

Were the games compelling? No, not really. Depending on what country you live in.

Was the type of baseball being played interesting? No, not really. Whenever I watched, it seemed like a bunch of players who couldn't hit.


As for the actual games, most of the analysis is quite condescending. I'll use Heyman's article as the example, but there are about 100 articles out there which basically say the same thing:

"An open letter to Team USA:

Too bad you losers couldn't make it here. Baseball history continued to be made last night without you, South Africa, the Netherlands and the rest of the early-round dropouts.

Cuba and Japan put on a lively, emotional display before a packed house at beautiful PETCO Park in the World Baseball Classic finale. Hope you returning Yankees thoroughly enjoyed that captivating 15-2 Grapefruit League loss to Detroit in lovely Lakeland."

The WBC was more exciting than Spring Training games, this is true. But that's like having a taste test between flat Coke and flat Pepsi.

It's also real nice that you just called South Africa and the Netherlands "losers."


"Many of you mega-millionaires suffered the punishment you deserved for losing: an additional week in central Florida, home to alligators, crocodiles, strippers and Steinbrenner."

The strippers sound kind of nice, actually. Not the kind of thing I'd consider punishment. Playing baseball in central Florida, where the strippers are, while being paid mega-millions by Steinbrenner.

As for the alligators and crocodiles, I don't really think Jeter and ARod actually had to worry about alligators and crocodiles as they ran from the dugout to their positions in the field.


"It may take a while, judging by ESPN, which skipped the first few batters to carry some worthless NIT game."

Number of professionals in the WBC: two. Number of professionals in the NIT: zero.

Number of mega-millionares in the WBC: at least one. Number of mega-millionaires in the NIT: zero.

The Netherlands and South Africa are losers and now the NIT is worthless. Heyman can go watch the NCAA tournaments with its shoe deals and big schools. Pure basketball fans watch the NIT with its teamwork and fundamentals.


"There's one thing we have to make clear. Your defeat wasn't a fluke. Nor were the teams who got here lucky."

So condescending. Nobody said the Japanese were lucky. But if you really open your eyes, you'll know that Team USA wasn't prepared to play, physically or mentally.


"They were here because they can play. And also because they are prepared, team-oriented, multi-dimensional and efficient. The South Korean team, eliminated Friday night, made zero errors in seven games."

Eliminated Friday night because they can't hit.

For what it's worth, the players in the US major leagues can also play. They are prepared, team-oriented, multi-dimensional, and efficient.

The only style that matters is the winning style. If you don't hit homeruns, you're not going to win. The '82 Cardinals were very exciting. But that was 25 seasons ago already. They're the exception, not the rule.


"Matsuzaka, who started last night's finale, tried to jump to the big leagues last year but was prevented by the troubled ownership of the Seibu Lions. You fellows caught a glimpse of him a few days ago, when he shut you out for four innings, putting him in large company.

Anyway, scouts say this kid, only 25, is ready to be an ace in the States. He hit 96 on the gun last night. Plus, he has all he needs: his trick pitch, the rapt attention of the Yankees, and agent Scott Boras to handle his very American goal."

This is as condescending as it gets.

"Wow! In the whole country, the Japanese have a player who can throw the ball 96 miles per hour! I told you the Japanese were good!"

Who can't throw the ball 96 mph? Tanyon Sturtze can throw the ball 96 mph. Rick Ankiel can throw the ball 96 mph. Victor Zambrano can throw the ball 96 mph. Dewon Brazelton can throw the ball 96 mph.

This guy Matsuzaka might be Tom Seaver or he might be Lance McCullers. I have no way of knowing.

But please don't insult his country and his baseball-playing ability by acting all impressed because he can throw a baseball 96 mph. That's AAA in this country, pal.

If you want to prove you're the best in the world, then don't prove it in the WBC. Prove it by signing a four-year deal with the Blue Jays.


"The Japanese team can do the little things. Unlike you guys, they don't wait for the three-run homer."

Look at Team USA's roster. They do not sit back and wait for a three-run homer.

Griffey is past his prime, but he's got ten gold gloves. I understand that his bunting skills are rusty, but that's because it makes more sense for him to swing than to pass the baton. Griffey probably has a better chance of doubling in the run than the next guy does of singling in the run.

Do Damon, Jeter, and ARod sit back and wait for a three-run homer? That's all they do?

Besides, three-run homeruns are exciting, too. They really are. Three-run homeruns score three runs, which is good, because runs help win baseball games.

Three-run homeruns are now somehow symbols or American Sloth and Greed. Three-run homeruns are SUVs lumbering down the highway pushing Celicas off the road. Three-run homeruns are heartless, industrial bombs raining down on quick-witted samurai. Three-run homeruns are double-bacon cheeseburgers which cause us to flatulate in a noble sushi restaurant. Three-run homeruns are big-ass cowboy hats being worn at a funeral. Three-run homeruns are a giant nuclear mutant lizard rising from the sea attacking Tokyo and only the intelligence and teamwork of a sacrifice bunt can drive it back.


"They [Cuba] have a second baseman, Yulieski Gourriel, who could start somewhere for just about any team in the majors now."

Maybe so, maybe not. I saw Gourriel almost cost his team the game against D.R. with a Soriano-cum-Knoblauch fielding play where he actually made two errors. One error for missing the grounder in a fundamentally unsound way. Then, another error when he mindlessly flung the ball into the stands even though he had plenty of time due to a slow baserunner.

Again, why with the condescension? "The Cubans have a player who can play in MLB! The Cubans!"

Why is this a surprise? Even hear of Luis Tiant, Tony Oliva, and El Duque?

Here is a list of pro baseball players born in Cuba.


Maybe I gave the rest of the world more credit than any of these writers. It doesn't surprise me at all that a handful of MLB-ready players exist throughout the world. It doesn't surprise me at all that an unmotivated USA team got their butts kicked.

It doesn't surprise me because, in case Heyman didn't notice, MLB in the US already features many of the best players from all over the world.


If these writers want to watch exciting, compelling, well-played baseball, they should watch the MLB playoffs this October. (If you really think you're a Championship, then I'm naturally going to compare you to the World Series and not just freakin' Spring Training games.)

In the MLB playoffs, the players will pitch! They will bunt! They will steal bases! They will throw the ball 96 mph, just like the Japanese can do! They will turn double plays! Oh, and they might even bore you with a homerun.

The ratings for these MLB playoff games will likely be higher than 1.1.