Nice ninth inning.

After the Phillies casually stole three bases in three attempts in the ninth inning, the Mets' catcher talks some trash:

"We'll get our chance to come back and take care of these guys," Lo Duca said. "They're dancing around the field now, but we'll see what happens when the time comes."

Watch a replay of Jose Reyes scoring in the eighth inning. Literally, clapping and prancing as he was running down the baseline. Followed by, I'm quite sure, a choreographed dugout celebration uniquely designed for each of his teammates. In a game which his team eventually lost.

I find it hard to believe that Paul Loduca, of all people, has the audacity to talk so much and so often.

He has 33 runs batted in this year and is being paid $6.25 million.

Pat Burrell homers twice in one game against the Mets.

Pat Burrell hits a homerun against the Mets.

Pat Burrell hits a homerun against the Mets.

What are the Mets doing just three games up on Philly, anyway?

Value Over Replacement Player.

Jon Heyman sets sports analysis back twenty years, and seems quite proud of himself:

"And the day I consider VORP is the day I get out of the business."

VORP is just a concept with a mathematical formula attached to it. I think VORP is an excellent way to determine the MVP.

"Of all the 2007 players in this league, how easily could I replace so-and-so?"

Which isn't VORP precisely, but it's close. VORP is basically judging a player vs. an average player. But you don't need a mathematical formula to compare, say, all the outfielders in the AL.

Which is one reason Jose Reyes's MVP candidacy is hurt by the mere existence of Hanley Ramirez, J.J. Hardy, Jimmy Rollins, etc.

Now, the mathematical formula is simply an attempt to fuse many aspects of the game, including the difficulty of the fielding position. It's not really that big of a deal. In fact, I can guarantee that the VORP rankings correspond very closely to any MVP ranking.

Why would a sportswriter disavow a potentially insightful measurement?


"The idea of the MVP is to honor the player who has had the biggest positive impact on the pennant races."

Says you.

I say it's to honor the best player in the league.


"There goes that VORP again. When the standings are determined by VORP, I think I will take it more seriously. But as you know, they still go by wins and losses."

Duh.

Obviously, standings are indirectly determined by VORP.


"Like I said, I am an admirer of Bedard's. I had him second. Why don't you send your insults to Jim Leyland, who didn't even pick him for the All-Star team?"

So, you're a hypocrite. Bedard has not played under pressure or had any impact on the pennant race. Using your own reasoning, Wakefield should be ahead of Bedard.

Bedard just happens to be a better pitcher.


Let's make this easier, huh?

Vote for the players who are good.

Torre still has the touch.

Torre after last night's loss: "We're fine."

Pat Burrell hits another homerun against the Mets.

Al Leiter just described Mike Mussina's outing as a case of "Murphy's Law."

This column isn't anti-Yankee so much ...

... it's just anti-baseball-knowledge.

Lupica simply does not know what he's talking about:

"Start in Detroit, a couple of days before the Red Sox come to town, the beginning of the last act of what has been the most compelling and dramatic Yankee regular-season in 30 years:"

This season has been the most compelling and dramatic Yankee season in thirty years?

Has Lupica been watching the same season I've been watching?

The Yankees are just an underachieving team, mostly, spurred to mediocrity by a lame duck manager.


"If the Yankees had won a game against the Tigers that started late Friday night and ended at 3:30 Saturday morning, nobody would have been blaming Major League Baseball because of when it started and when it finished, or looking to point fingers as soon as Carlos Guillen's 3-run dinger cleared the fence.

Nobody would have been mad at anybody and Joe Torre wouldn't have been at a loss for words when it was over. Are you kidding? It would have been a brand new episode of 'Yankeeography'!"

Four-hour rain delay seems a bit much, but I don't think the Yankees got too angry about it. Losing tends to be worse than winning.

Though it was odd that the Yankees got mad "props" for playing baseball on Saturday, against the same team that played until 3:30 am the night before. If the Yankees were tired, so were the Tigers.


"Oh sure. If a Yankee had hit the home run Guillen hit for the Tigers, the whole thing would have been classified as an instant pinstriped classic."

Sure.

Point being?


"Give them all props for coming back the way they have, getting up the way they did when they were 14 behind the Red Sox and after some of the dreariest losing streaks of the entire Joe Torre era. Give them all props for the character they've shown getting themselves back into things in the American League East and into the thick of the whole wild-card deal."

I'll give them mad props, homes. Thanks for the 411. What's the dilly with that O.G. from the UNL, yo? You know who I'm talkin' 'bout?

I'm talkin' 'bout Joba.

J to the izz-O, B to the izz-A.


As for the team's character, that's quite an astonishing statement. I don't know how many "props" a team gets for sleepwalking for the first three months of a professional sports schedule.

"The reality of this Yankee team is that if it doesn't make it to the postseason, which would mean the first Yankee team since 1993 not to make it to the postseason, then it underperformed in September the way it did over the first three months of the season."

I don't remember much about the 1994 season, but I can guarantee the Yankees didn't make the postseason in 1994. Though I suppose they would have.


The Yankees could play .650 ball in September and still miss the playoffs. It depends on Boston, Seattle, Cleveland, Detroit, and Anaheim.

Most likely, the Yankees will miss the playoffs AND perform much better than the first three months of the season.

So, Lupica's if-then construct is the opposite of true.


"This is a team that has more firepower in baseball now that Abreu is back hitting the ball again, and Matsui, and Cano and even Giambi. And Melky is having his own career year the way Alex Rodriguez is."

Melky is having a career year in the second year of his career. He had to break the 7 hr, 50 rbi mark, and he somehow did it.


"Have they had to overcome a lot? They have. You think the Mets haven't? The Mets haven't had Pedro Martinez since last summer. What comparable long-term pitching loss have the Yankees had since then?"

Nobody is arguing with you, man. But it doesn't matter, anyway. The standings tell you how good your team played. There's not category for "injuries" or "luck."

"You bet the Yankees suffered early because of all the bad pitchers they had to run out there. But it was a lot more than kid pitchers that put them into that hole, and everybody who has watched the season knows that."

Well, sure. It was everybody not named Rodriguez, Jeter, Posada, Wang, and Rivera.

But let's say it was 100% the fault of kid pitchers.

Who cares?

The Red Sox are 7.5 games up and you care about why? This is compelling and dramatic to you for some reason?

What's your point? If the Yankees miss the playoffs, then they stink? Thanks for the update. I think the rest of us knew this sometime last October.

5*

If Bonds complains about a double standard, he may have a point.

Follow where?

"While the Yankees are involved in two races - the AL East and wild card - there is no avoiding what looms beyond this season."

The Yankees are 6.5 games behind the Red Sox. If that's a race, then the Colorado Rockies are also in the race for the NL West.

$100 to anybody who can name the manager of the Colorado Rockies.


"Joe Torre is doing a wonderful job as a lame-duck manager, and his future will have an impact on what free agents Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens will do following the World Series."

What's funnier?:

(1) "Joe Torre is doing a wonderful job."

(2) The words "Yankees" and "World Series" being used in the same sentence.


" 'I don’t see myself playing for anybody else,' the All-Star told The Post.

So, if Torre leaves, does that mean Posada goes, too?"

To where? A team that hires Joe Torre in the offseason?


"Posada, who will be coming off a career year when he hits a free-agent market devoid of front-line catchers, could command a three-year deal worth $42 million. And the 36-year-old switch-hitter may only have to look as far as Queens to get it."

Oh.

So the Mets are going to fire Willie Randolph and hire Joe Torre.

Then, with the hiring of Joe Torre, the Mets will lure Posada, Rivera, Clemens, and Pettitte.

Does Omar Minaya know about this?

All that money.

"If Alex Rodriguez opts out of his contract after this season, the insist they won't try to re-sign him.

'How can we? We lose all our money from Texas,' Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said Thursday.

...

Rodriguez is owed $24 million in each of the next three seasons by the Yankees, with Texas offsetting about $21.3 million of that."

What $21 million is worth to the Yankees:

1. Rights to negotiate with Kei Igawa.
2. Two Pavano wins.
3. Three Clemens wins.

Ask a stupid question ...

What happens when Mo is no longer Mo?

The Yankees will lose baseball games more often.

In the unlikely event that the Yankee are easily able to replace the greatest closer in baseball history, then it's not a problem.

How unlikely is it that the Yankees will replace the greatest closer in baseball history with another closer who becomes the greatest closer in baseball history?

Very unlikely. That's what the "est" is for.


As for yesterday's wipeout and the typical attendant eulogies, it happens every year. In fact, it's boring by this point. I think Rivera is the only player in baseball history whose career is over every time he has a bad game.


Yesterday, I heard a call to WFAN insisting that Chamberlain should replace Rivera as the closer. Expect more of the same.

Hey, he's Giuseppe Franco.

The day after I linked to the commercial on YouTube:

"The incongruity of the classiest team in sports being sponsored by what seems to be a smoke-in-a-bucket sell is not all that incongruous. After all, John Sterling has been the radio Voice of the New York Yankees for nearly 20 years. Nevertheless it remains an oddity that the New York Yankees can't do better."

Are the Yankees the classiest team in sports?

My earliest memories of the Yankees are Phil Rizzuto proclaiming "This Bud's for you" or "It's Miller time" whenever a Yankee hit a homerun.

Yum.

Beer.


You know, Mushnick poses as a gritty, cynical, dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker. Yet, he doesn't seem to realize that the Yankees are nothing more than dancers in a strip club. The Yankees exist solely to move the merch.

When one visits Yankee Stadium, one may notice that the bathrooms are rather difficult to locate. The $35 Jeter tee shirts are impossible to miss.

"Class" and "tradition" are marketing campaigns, easily disproven, and completely irrelevant. Without money rolling in, the entire team fails to exist and the entire league fails to exist.


I am not sure what type of advertising would strike Mr. Mushnick as "classy" and appropriate for the YES Network. Perhaps Michael Jordan selling underwear? Tiki Barber selling minivans? Viagra?


I can honestly say that the Procede commercials are the best part of Yankee telecasts. Turn down the volume when Kay and O'Neill are blathering their nonsense. Turn it up just to hear Giuseppe say, "I don't own the company ... (dramatic pause) .... I don't know anything ABOUT it."

Giuseppe, I believe you. Giuseppe, you can sell me anything.

Worry about losing your starting job.

"Ramon is here, he's playing well, he'll do a fine job," Lo Duca said. "I'm not worried about that."

	AB	R	H	RBI	BA	OB%	SL%	HR
LoDuca	344	36	92	32	.267	.310	.355	5
Castro	130	20	37	27	.285	.326	.538	9

A Moss Klein article in the Ledger.

Yankees have better record than Mets.

I am amazed that anybody noticed.

Thing is, the Mets are 2.5 up while the Yankees are 5 back (ignoring the wild card for the moment).

So the Mets are 7.5 games ahead of the Yankees, if you ask me.

It's easy to tell who watches the games.

"But in recent weeks, Joe Torre has worked Damon into the left-field rotation. This move has been nothing short of a disaster. Damon looks absolutely lost in left and struggles mightily in reading the ball off the bat."

I saw Damon get completely fooled by a line drive hit by Frank Thomas.

Other than that, Damon has played excellently in left field.

Most observers would agree that he is a better fielder than Matsui. Which sets the bar pretty low. But Damon's fielding is hardly a disaster.

The Court of Public Opinion.

"This is what happens when you are far more interested in protecting the guilty, as the Major League Baseball Players Association has done for years with drugs, than you are the innocent."

Generally speaking, the guilty need more protection than the innocent.


"Alex Rodriguez happens."

Is that how Alex Rodriguez happened? The story about the stork is just make believe?


" '(The union) has never looked to elevate the innocent,' one baseball manager said yesterday. 'And that's as big a reason as any why fans have so much trouble, even now, telling the innocent and the guilty apart.' "

I think it's quiet easy to tell the innocent from the guilty. Or at least have a fairly solid personal opinion. Which is all any of this is. Nobody is being tried in real court.

Not that steroid testing would make it any easier, unless a 100% Perfect Test existed. If Brady Anderson tested negative, I'm not going to believe it, anyway.


"You know the dumbed-down chorus now about how drugs don't matter and the steroid era is over."

Who says says drugs don't matter and the steroid era is over?

Who???

Largely due to Barry Bonds's pursuit of the career homerun record, it seems that I have been bombarded with hand-wringing stories about steroids every waking hour for the past two years.

"Tell Alex Rodriguez, who must have liked the back pages of the city's tabloids yesterday even less than Chipper Jones did, even if A-Rod's only crime so far is being the youngest to ever get to 500 home runs in the big leagues."

Biggest crime so far.

But the FBI has some shocking porpoise-smuggling allegations.


"It is something you have heard before about the Mitchell investigation. Rafael Palmeiro, a positive drug test, was there, Canseco was there. And A-Rod was there, but after Canseco. Innocent and guilty, all under the same great big tent."

Fair enough.

You know who else is guilty by association? Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn. They played with a guy who knew a guy.

It's all under one big tent. Innocent is the new guilty, right is the new wrong. Jose Canseco is the new Solomon, Mike Lupica is the new Themis.


"To this day the union talks about wanting to clean up the sport and then acts as a human shield between its players and Mitchell. These guys say they are protecting these players. How are they doing with A-Rod, as big a star as they have? How well are they protecting him?"

There is no need to protect ARod.

This is all court of public opinion and, in the court of public opinion, ARod is innocent.

At least when it comes to steroid use. He's guily of not being Derek Jeter. But the vox populi is sated when it comes to the size of his head.

Maybe they are fanboys of logic.

"It’s amusing that when I mention that A-Rod just may have done something wrong, the love-struck fanboys respond then go back to the basement to read more comic books."

Wow.

This guy just went after the people who comment on his blog.

This guy:




"My point is only this: A-Rod yelled at Howie Clark with the Yankees up by three runs in the ninth inning back on May 30. It was a needless thing to do."

It was one of the smartest baseball moves I've ever seen. The team was seven games under .500, if I remember correctly.

F. the Blue Jays.


"Whether it was right or wrong, it obviously angered Toronto. The result is that he’s missing a game and Clemens could get suspended. So was it worth it? I don’t see how."

Nice logic. As if Josh Towers is not to blame. As if ARod could have known the dufus at 3b would drop the ball and that he'd get hit with a pitch ten weeks later.

I don't even care if ARod misses one whole game. It was definitely worth it. Every run is important. With this bullpen, is any lead safe?

If nothing else, the Yankees rallied around their teammate and showed some rare emotion last night.

They were almost as excited as Peter Abraham when he gets a bottle of baby oil, a bacon double cheeseburger, and an early edition Wonder Woman comic.

Born thirty years too late.

This guy belongs on a team with Munson, Nettles, and Cliff Johnson:

"As further compensation for A-Rod's pain, Shelley Duncan took out shortstop John McDonald so hard that the glove went flying off his hand, but McDonald shook it off."

Let's play some hardball.

"Jesse Litsch's first pitch of the second inning went behind Alex Rodriguez's legs, an apparent message. The New York Yankees responded with some hard play -- and another win.

...


Rodriguez slid hard into shortstop John McDonald while trying to break up a double play in the fourth, swiping his left arm in anger, and Johnny Damon collided with Aaron Hill on a forceout in the fifth, appearing to clip the second baseman on the leg."

To be honest, if ARod had spent ten minutes admiring his 500th homerun while I was pitching, I'd probably have met him halfway between third base and home plate.

Here's a high five for you, pretty boy.

Myers not experienced enough.

Joe Torre on Kyle Farnsworth: " 'I think he just needs to have a couple of good outings. He's been around a while, and you see signs of stuff. His slider and his fastball are powerful pitches for him. He just needs to locate on a regular basis, and I think once he gets a couple of good outings under his belt, [he will be fine]. Maybe the road will help him.' "


Though it sounds like Torre could be talking about Mike Myers, I guess not:

"Veteran left-hander Mike Myers was told after the game that he will be designated for assignment.

A published report in the New York Daily News said that Myers was informed of the move by Torre and general manager Brian Cashman shortly before the team left for Toronto.

Myers, 38, was in the second year of a two-year, $2.4 million contract. He had a team-best 2.66 ERA in 55 appearances, but left-handers hit .312 against him."

It speaks.

"Congratulations to Barry Bonds as he ties Major League's Baseball's home run record. No matter what anyone thinks of the controversy surrounding this event, Mr. Bonds' achievement is noteworthy and remarkable.

As I said previously, out of respect for the tradition of the game, the magnitude of the record and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, either I or a representative of my office will attend the next few games and make every attempt to observe the breaking of the all-time home run record."

Autobiographical Sports Reporters.

Further blurring the line between subject and observer, Bob Klapisch totally called ARod's 500th homerun and Mike Lupica's son phones in a report of Bonds's 755th.

Amusingly enough, Junior's report of over-the-top mistreatment of Bonds basically contradicts every other firsthand account of the incident.

Which is oddly comforting.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Alex Rodriguez might not hit 800 homeruns.

Quite a brave stance taken by Larry Brooks.

He also displays an in-depth knowledge of the transitive property:

"Rodriguez hits third for the Yankees, and until he hits No. 500, he isn't going to be able to get to 757."

You know what else is odd?

I keep seeing 757 as the mark that ARod is going to shoot for.

As if Bonds is going to stop at 756. Bonds is going to hit two in one game and then end his baseball career mid-inning.

I think Vlad Guerrero just went 125 at-bats without a homerun.

I'm quite sure that Ian O'Connor will find a reason to vote for Guerrero ahead of ARod when it's time to determine the 2007 AL MVP.

I'm also wondering if any sportswriter will refer to Glavine's quest for win #300 as a "long national nightmare."

When I read something like the following, I just have zero idea what the guy is talking about:

"A-Rod is growing A-Fraid of the moment. He's turning this glorious march to 500 homers into an alarming stagger to who knows where.

Rodriguez went 0-for-4 in the 8-1 victory over the White Sox on Wednesday night, and he hasn't gotten a hit in his 21 at-bats since Homer No. 499, equaling the worst hitless streak of his career. If he doesn't become the youngest player to reach 500 by the end of the Yankees' homestand Sunday, Joe Torre said, 'We'll all be in straightjackets.'

Or at least A-Rod will be in one. Let's see Scott Boras negotiate his way out of that.

'I'll hit it sometime before the year ends,' A-Rod pledged.

Would he bet $252 million on that?"

Besides, them's highway miles.

"Joe Torre on Krazy Kyle: 'There’s a good arm there; he knows how to pitch. We just need to get him more comfortable. I still believe Farnsworth is going to be a contributor to this.'

Now before you light torches and gather pitchforks, understand that the manager can’t sit there and bury the guy."

I think we all understand that Torre is lying to the press at all times. It's part of his job.

I don't want to say Torre's lying to the press, but let's just say he's skewing the truth.

See what I just did? That's the way Torre talks. "I'm not saying ARod is a choking loser, but let's just say he's uncomfortable."

But what we don't understand is why the press reverentially refers to Torre as a stand-up guy.

You know this 1975 Volare will break down as soon as you drive it off the lot. But you're listening to EZ Joe, anyway.

It's like the Dust Bowl.

Even taking poetic license into account, referring to Bonds's chase of Aaron as a "long national nightmare" is a bit much.

As the commenters on the comment board point out, if you're so bored and disinterested with Bonds, then why do you constantly write about him?

Is this inning over yet?

White Sox second: Konerko singled to left. Pierzynski singled to center, Konerko to second. Dye doubled to center, Konerko scored, Pierzynski to third. Erstad infield single to first, Pierzynski scored, Dye to third. Uribe singled to center, Dye scored, Erstad to second. D.Richar flied out to center fielder Me.Cabrera. J.Owens safe on fielder's choice and fielding error by second baseman R.Cano, Erstad to third, Uribe to second, J.Owens to first. Cintron grounded into fielder's choice, pitcher Clemens to catcher Posada, Uribe to third, J.Owens to second, Cintron to first, Erstad out. Thome singled to left, Uribe scored, J.Owens scored, Cintron to second. Konerko doubled to left, Cintron scored, Thome to third. Pierzynski singled to center, Thome scored, Konerko scored. Dye doubled to right, Pierzynski to third.

Maybe it's out of habit.

I was at the Yankees game on Saturday, surrounded by many Yankee fans, and they were still talking about the Red Sox and checking the Red Sox scores on their blackberries.

The Red Sox scores are of interest to me because I'm a baseball fan.

I also have interest in the scores of the Dodgers, Giants, Blue Jays, Marlins, etc.

But nobody seemed too interested in the the Tigers, Mariners, and Indians.

The Yankees are not in competition with the Red Sox anymore. The Red Sox are going to win 100 games. The Yankees have been out of the AL East race since May. Eric Gagne didn't seal this deal. Kei Igawa and Mike Mussina and Bob Abreu already sealed the deal.


There was a monkey and a scientist placed some bananas on the other side of a wall. A small hole in the wall allowed the monkey to reach the bananas. The hole was small enough for a flat monkey hand to fit through. But, when the monkey hand clenched and grabbed the food, it could not fit through the hole.

So, there's the monkey, trapped by its own clenched fist, unable to free its hand and also unable to get the bananas. The monkey could only free itself by releasing its grip on the bananas and sliding its unclenched hand through the hole.

That banana is first place in the AL East, the Yankees are the monkey, and the scientist is me.

It's a metaphor, don't you see?

We are not getting first place, people.

Just let it go.

The World Will Never Know.

Yes, it's dumb to try to hit homeruns.

Yes, it's obvious that ARod is trying to hit a homerun and get the 500th over with.

I don't like 0-for-17s by any Yankee player at any time.

But the "heat" is not "on" when the team wins a game 16-3.

If anybody is still questioning ARod's ability to rise to the occasion, then they're ignoring 2007.


Please put down your coffee before you read this next sentence:

"If he can't hit now, how will he manage against Eric Gagne in the AL Championship Series?"

How will ARod do against the Boston Red Sox in the AL Championship Series?

Why?

Is ARod getting traded to the Tigers before the end of the season?