Trash.

The Yankees weren't "resilient" in the eighth inning on Friday because their players are paid a lot of money and I'm a typical sportswriter and I'm a dope.

The Rangers were "resilient" in Game Two because ... well, I don't know ... I can't quite figure it out. A team is down 1-0 in a 7-game series and Phil Hughes pitched poorly and it's an inspiration for abandoned puppies all over the world. After a bullpen meltdown, the Rangers were supposed to stop trying because their li'l hearts were broken.

I know the Yankees always play the role of Evil Empire, Faceless Corporate Behemoth, Goliath, blah blah blah. But it is way too common for Yankee opponents to talk trash. The Yankees are never allowed to talk trash.


The combined Championship rings of Elvis Andrus plus the combined Championship rings of Ian Kinsler equals the combined Championship rings of the Texas Rangers. Which is zero.

In fact, just to teach the kids a math trick, if you took the combined Championship rings of Elvis Andrus, Ian Kinsler, and the Texas Rangers, and multiplied that number by the biggest number in the whole Universe, the result would still be zero. Isn't that amazing?

The respective team histories don't even matter when assessing the Rangers' chances in the 2010 ALCS. The players on the Rangers just ought to keep their mouths shut and act like grown-ups.

When you talk this much, it sounds like you expect to lose and are trying to convince yourselves that you are going to win:

Elvis Andrus: " 'We all know the Yankees don’t like the speed game,' Andrus said. 'So that’s going to be a big key for us in the series.' "

I guess he means while playing defense the Yankees don't like the opposing baserunners to be aggressive on the basepaths?

Well, I suppose that's sort of true. Posada/Cervelli don't have great arms and Burnett can't hold anybody on base. But I also distinctly remember Game One where Kinsler was picked off first base and some other Ranger yahoo was thrown out at home, unable to outrace 475-lb. CC Sabathia.

So ... thanks for that "speed game," Rangers. Keep it up.


Ian Kinsler doing his best Jimmy Rollins impersonation: " 'We outplayed them for two days,' Kinsler said of the Yankees."

No, you did not. You outplayed the Yankees one game out of two.

You know how you know which team outplayed the other? The scoreboard, that's how.

Late-inning comebacks don't count somehow because they're unexpected. Eighth-inning runs don't count. Unearned runs are lucky, or something.. Almost wins count as actual wins.

In Game Two, I say Cano should have made a better play on the steal of home (gold glove candidate, my butt), Berkman should have hit a HR, and Hughes should have made a few better pitches.

Therefore, Yankees totally outplayed the Rangers and the Yankees should be up 2-0.