I searched high and far and I finally found a sportswriter who likes Derek Jeter.

"For much of the past year, too much of the talk around here has been about what Derek Jeter no longer can do:

Can’t get to enough balls to his left.

Can’t hit like he did in the clutch anymore.

Can’t hit more than .270 anymore."

That's definitely all true. His RISP BA is .170. His on-base% is .313. His slugging% is .325.

Awful.

"Yes, he plays for the Winning-Isn’t-Everything-It’s-The-Only-Thing Yankees, for whom the future is forever now, who will inevitably find themselves in the position of detesting Alex Rodriguez’s opt-in contract as much as they reveled in a modicum of payback for The Captain for his prodigious previous bounty even as they reap the marketing benefits of his run to 3,000 hits."

That, Sir, is a run-on sentence.

The Yankees are going to detest ARod's contract as much as they reveled in a modicum of payback for Jeter for his prodigious previous bounty? I'm confused and scared after reading that sentence.

"I ask:

Why are we so eager to show this guy the door?

Why are we so eager to shove him off shortstop?

Why are we so eager to shove him off leadoff?"

Can’t get to enough balls to his left, can’t hit like he did in the clutch anymore, can’t hit more than .270 anymore, has an on-base% of .313, and a slugging% of .325.

"Because trust me, we will miss him more than we know when he’s gone.

In case you have forgotten:

On and off the field, he has been The Pride of the Yankees, a five-time champion of grace and elegance and class who has drawn comparisons with Joe DiMaggio, minus the 56-game hitting streak, the home runs, and Marilyn Monroe."

Jeter is the most-worshiped and most-recognized person in baseball. He is going to the Hall of Fame. He will get a monument. His number will be retired.

There is no way we will ever miss Derek Jeter when he's gone, because Derek Jeter will never be gone. Jeter will always sell cars with cool panoramic vista roofs.


Turn on the radio and you'll still hear Joe Torre hawking green tea. Bigelow green tea. From the locker room to the dugout to the front office, Torre has always enjoyed the antioxidant benefits of Bigelow green tea.