Jilted sportswriters are amusing.

Albert Pujols, the best player of baseball on planet Earth, makes an error:

"At the center of it was a cutoff throw on which Pujols whiffed. The ball slipped away, allowing what would be the winning run to advance into scoring position."

Yep. He made an error.


"Pujols mimicked the ball, showering, dressing and dashing before the clubhouse doors opened."

The baseball showered, dressed, and dashed out the clubhouse doors?


"Part of stardom – perhaps the hardest part – is accountability."

In Pujols's case, the hardest part is the uncanny ability to hit a baseball thrown toward him from 60 feet away, moving 90+ mph, with a wooden cylinder, 8 players with gloves in the field, etc., etc., etc.


"Pujols is not accountable to the media. This is not about that. Nor is it about his accountability to fans that may or may not want to know how he spit the bit in a crucial game. Pujols, more than anything, must be accountable to his teammates, those he ostensibly leads."

Meh.

He's the best player they'll ever see.

When he's ditching a press conference early, they should warm up his car.