I'll say what everyone else is thinking.

"If Montero does bloom in Seattle, the M’s may have a former star to thank, in part, anyway. Montero noted the learned a lot from Alex Rodriguez last year. 'He was mad at me because I wasn’t going to the cage a lot and he said if you don’t, you’re going to be fined $100 a day,' Montero said. 'Then I was going a lot and I learned all the routines he taught me.' "


The routine goes like this: First, you get a mule to provide the steroids. Second, you find an injection place on the body that is hidden from view. Third, you cycle different drugs, so a helpful tip is to keep a calendar ...

Catching up with Choo Choo Coleman.

"Craig Anderson, who has a 19-game losing streak still working since 1964, and Bill Wakefield, who was a Mets closer in 1964, remember Coleman as an agile, willing catcher who had the disconcerting habit of glancing at his own fingers as he flashed the signals"

The Yankees have an elite starting rotation, according to this guy.

I hope the Yankees have an elite starting rotation.

However, I must say, I'm not too confident in the source:

"Even though last October provided its contradictions, 2011 was the second consecutive 'Year of the Pitcher' for Major League Baseball.

It gave fans the game’s first 'super rotation,' a group of arms compiled through trades and free agency with an expectation of dominance."

If I am understanding correctly, he is claiming that the 2010 Phillies were the first "super rotation" in baseball history.

"This offseason, other teams have followed Philadelphia’s pattern, or at least attempted to. That has led to a number of rotations with at least one legitimate ace (and sometimes more)."

Baseball teams have tried to acquire dominant pitching during the offseason?

That's like every team during every offseason since baseball began.

Good luck.

Pretty much:

" 'Around the game, Burnett has become the symbol for wasted money,' said an AL East scout who also believes the Yankees will have to eat at least $20 million. 'When you’ve got a guy who has managed to pitch below .500 (34-35) for a team with the Yankees offense, yeah, it’ll make you apprehensive. This is the question now being asked, even about guys like Oswalt and Jackson. How much do you pay for mediocrity?' "

I'm lovin' it.

"Former relief ace" signs a contract:

"The team also avoided arbitration with former relief ace Joba Chamberlain, agreeing to pay him $1.675 million."

That's 1.675 million dollar menu cheeseburgers.

"It is weird."

Can you believe Wright is about to play his ninth year? He's a good player, but it just seems he has not quite realized his transcendent expectations, and a lot of people still expect him to suddenly turn into an MVP-caliber player ... as if the first eight years of his career are not a large enough sample size:

" 'It is weird where it seems like yesterday we were winning the division by a crazy number of games and that I never heard myself in a trade rumor,' Wright said Friday before hosting his second-annual Vegas Night here to benefit the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters. 'And now, all of a sudden, it’s every day.' "

Wrong.

I thought the Yankees would keep Montero for sure, now that he is finally ready for the big leagues.

In fact, I blogged five weeks ago that "The Yankees will not trade Jesus Montero."

That is an odd thing to say.

"To ever be Chicago's Derek Jeter, it requires the smarts and savvy the Yankees superstar has exercised to avoid the type of messy predicament Castro faced Friday.

One day after Chairman Tom Ricketts took a $15 million stand for character by paying Zambrano to go away, representatives for the Cubs' biggest star defended him against a sexual-assault allegation. The denials were strong and swift."

Of course, I am unsure about the validity of sexual assault allegations.

I'm just saying, I'm not so sure if The Edge is the correct role model vis a vis the aforementioned allegations.

Trifecta.

"When you think of Joe Torre, you think of a guy who has already scripted perhaps the greatest second act in baseball history."

When I think of Joe Torre, I think of the power of anti-oxidants in Bigelow Green Tea.

"Now, it appears, he's looking for Act III."

Or, as we say in America, "Act 3."

"Should his group succeed in the purchase, the 71-year old Torre would have completed an incredible Baseball Trifecta, going player to manager to owner. That doesn't even get into other hats Torre has worn in baseball, including broadcaster and MLB executive."

Joe Torre was a broadcaster? I wonder if he ever brought up Bob Gibson.

You forgot author!

Pitchman!

"When he left the Yankees following the 2007 season it was due to what Torre perceived as a lack of respect from the late George Steinbrenner, who offered him an incentive-laden contract with base salary below what he had been earning. While it clearly did not sit well with Torre, he thanked Steinbrenner for his time in pinstripes and was quickly hired to manage the Dodgers."

Well, that's not quite right. Torre trashed Steinbrenner and many other Yankees in a book you seem to have conveniently forgot.

But that doesn't even matter.

Good for him. He'll be a fine owner, I'm sure, as long as he lets someone else manage the bullpen.

Happy New Year!

Let's start the new year off with Mike Lupica referring to Alex Rodriguez in the past tense.