I'll say what everyone else is thinking.

"If Montero does bloom in Seattle, the M’s may have a former star to thank, in part, anyway. Montero noted the learned a lot from Alex Rodriguez last year. 'He was mad at me because I wasn’t going to the cage a lot and he said if you don’t, you’re going to be fined $100 a day,' Montero said. 'Then I was going a lot and I learned all the routines he taught me.' "


The routine goes like this: First, you get a mule to provide the steroids. Second, you find an injection place on the body that is hidden from view. Third, you cycle different drugs, so a helpful tip is to keep a calendar ...