Kevin Youkilis is not old.

"Little by little, the Yankees’ old-age home is filling to capacity, so much so that the word now is they are already in the process of filling the clubhouse with rocking chairs."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Rocking chairs?!?!

Because old people sit in rocking chairs!

Get it?


No, on a more serious note ... though it's hard to get my train of thought back on track after that hilarious rocking chair joke ... the only Yankee who needs a rocking chair is a lazy slob like Robinson Cano.


"Until Tuesday, the Yankees’ only off-season business, other than passively watching the free agent defections of Russell Martin, Eric Chavez and likely Nick Swisher, was the re-signing of 37-year-old Hiroki Kuroda, 40-year-old Andy Pettitte and 43-year-old Mariano Rivera."

So they lost three old players and replaced them with three old players.

Swisher is 32, Chavez is 35, Martin is 29.

You conveniently ignored Andruw Jones (35) being replaced by Brett Gardner (29).


"The Youkilis signing is, of course, the most intriguing of all these Yankee comings and goings in that, for the better part of the last seven seasons, the bald, goateed, glowering 'Youk' has been about the most loathed opposing player to venture into Yankee Stadium as the gritty personification of the cowboy-upped arch-rival Red Sox."

It's not an intriguing signing at all and, frankly, I had no idea that "Youk" was loathed at Yankee Stadium.

It doesn't even matter. It's a one-year deal and no one-year deal is intriguing. All of these deals -- Youkilis, Ichiro, Pettitte, Rivera -- are one-year and therefore low-risk.

I don't really care if they're old, I just hope they're good.


"But for those Yankee fans making their travel plans for spring training in Tampa next month, don’t expect to be seeing any exciting rookie hopefuls vying for the right field or third base jobs. In Yankeeland, 'youth will be served' has been replaced by 'age is good.' "

Nunez will be a legit candidate for the third base job. He ought to be fielding fungoes as I write this.

Right field? Probably not anyone who's young. No one I can think of.

In a Spring Training game, the Yankee fan thirsting for youth will see Romine at catcher, Phelps/Nova/Hughes on the mound, Nunez at third, and Gardner in the outfield.

I'm not sure when Pineda is coming back.

It's quite possible all of these young players will be on the roster in the regular season.