Name five players on the Royals ... better yet, name the Yankees' starting staff.

Mike Lupica, King of the Fake Baseball Fans, calls out the amateurs:

"All the fake baseball fans who wring their hands constantly about the state of the game, and act as if the only way to quantify the sport’s appeal is through network TV ratings, if the stress of that is all too much, they should just skip watching the Royals trying to finish off one of the great and magical storybook runs in all of baseball history."

I'll make a deal with you regarding Fake Baseball Fans who worry about ratings. If TV ratings don't matter, then never bring up the post-Jeter YES Network ratings.


Very nice run on sentence, by the way, Fake Sportswriter. Read it out loud to yourself before you print it. That's a very basic rule.


Also, for what it's worth? There is absolutely zero stress involved in the decision to skip the World Series. It's the opposite of stress. It's disinterest. No team to root for and no team to root against.




"I think 10-year contracts for baseball players are dumber than Bruce Jenner, but if given the choice between 10 years for Cano or seven years for Ellsbury before the last offseason began, there’s no question that paying Cano would have made more sense."

First, some background: Lupica presumed the Yankees were going to sign Cano to a dumb ten-year contract. So Lupica pre-emptively ridiculed the contract. But the Yankees didn't sign Cano.

Then, Lupica insisted Ellsbury would get hurt. So Ellsbury played pretty good and stayed healthy. Ellsbury or Gardner were the best non-pitchers ... and Ellsbury was probably not worth $17.5 million ... but Ellsbury still undoubtedly proved Lupica wrong.

Lupica was wrong about the Yankees and wrong about Cano. Yankees are fools for signing Cano, Yankees are fools for not signing Cano. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

So how does Lupica try to wriggle out of it?

By comparing Ellsbury's contract to Cano's ... and not even considering the possibility that Cano wanted to leave ... and not even offering any basis for his conclusion. (I'd definitely take Ellsbury's ridiculous contract over Cano's impossibly ridiculous contract.)


But it doesn't even matter.

The entire "choice" is a red herring. It's a non-argument. Before the offseason began, if given the choice between a ham sandwich and flesh eating bacteria, the Yankees should have chosen art deco.

Everyone knows Cano is better than Ellsbury. The Yankees know this. Ellsbury knows this. That's why Cano makes about 50% more per year.

The Yankees did not want to pay Cano $241 million. Which is a smart decision, and the wisdom of that decision has nothing to do with Jacoby Ellsbury or Masahiro Tanaka or Brian McCann or anybody else.