Everything the Mets do is good and everything the Yankees do is bad.

"People keep saying, well, yeah, but Soto will be a DH in a few years.

David Ortiz was a DH.

How’d that work out for the Red Sox?"

Right.

Lots of people in baseball history have been DHs and many of them have won World Series.

Got it.

But that doesn't explain something peculiar about this paragraph. 

According to Lupica, "people keep saying" something that no one is saying.

I searched for "Juan Soto" + "designated hitter" in an AI search engine and I could not find any recent articles.

Other than Bill Madden.

In the Daily News.

On the same page.

Many people have pointed out the obvious fact that a 15-year contract is risky at the back end. Some observers have focused on the obvious fact that Soto is not a true five-tool player.

I am unaware of any group of "people" that have criticized the signing, diminished Soto's "generational" talent as an offensive player, or given one damn that he may or may not DH. 

Make room for Soto.

Lupica is once again inventing a non-existent counter argument so he can land a very mediocre zinger.

"David Ortiz."

Ouch!

"You know what we call the pitch that Devin Williams, the new Yankee closer, threw to Pete Alonso in the playoffs?

An Aroldis Chapman."

Hilarious.

No one calls it that, but I understand the reference.

How does Lupica reconcile this Chapman dig with Chapman's signing with the Red Sox? It must be a devastating war inside of Lupica's head.

It's also, like ... Devin Williams is a low-cost/low-risk pretty good closer. 

A one-year contract for a closer who has been dominant in the regular season and, in the playoffs, blew a save, just like every other closer in the 2024 playoffs.

Lupica is mocking people who are claiming Williams is going to jettison the Yankees to a championship. But no one is saying this.