This ought to be good ...

Actually, I kinda agree with the felon.

The Bronx is Vernon

Repent your sins to your Lord.

Kiss the ring of Selig and you might get a nice writeup on MLB.com.

I almost stopped in the middle of the first sentence ...

"The Yankees missed the playoffs in 2008 and immediately went out and spent around $425 million to get CC Sabathia — the way he is losing weight, he is probably just C Sabathia now —"

Did you laugh at that joke?

Did you find it humorous?

CC Sabathia is losing so much weight, his name is probably just C Sabathia.

Well, I have bad news for you. If you laughed at that, you should probably remove yourself from society.


"and A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira. Now they miss the playoffs in 2013, and money like A-Rod’s has come off the books and they spend nearly $475 million on new baseball players, newest being Masahiro Tanaka, greatest pitcher Yankee fans have never seen, but one they absolutely had to have or the monuments would all fall down."

Lupica doesn't understand simple finance.

The Yankees didn't actually spend $900 million in two off-seasons. They committed to spend $900 million, divided by several players, over the course of several years.

There is a big, big difference.


Also, I don't think "missing the playoffs" affects the spending patterns of the Yankees as much as he seems to think.

Even in the midst of a three-peat, was there a sudden reluctance to sign free agents? Did the Yankees become penny-pinchers in 2010?


"That is $900 million in total contracts in just two cold baseball winters, so you can only imagine what might happen next winter if somehow the Yankees, spending the way they always have, can’t win their division or get one of the two wild cards in the American League."

I can only imagine!

I think, if the Yankees miss the playoffs this year (shorthand for "can't win their division or get one of the two wild cards in the American League"), they will spend approximately $2 trillion in free agents signings in the 2014 off-season.

Bullpen alone? $400 million.

They will buy every left-handed pitcher in baseball just to get them off other teams. Send them to the minors if you have to or just pay them not to pitch in the majors.

They will sell Yankee Stadium and become a modern-day barnstorming team, intentionally splitting the games of a double-header ... and then charging extra for the tie-breaking third game. Their team will be sponsored by Chico's Bail Bonds and all the monuments will be torn down and replaced by a Bingo Long statue.

I feel relieved that others criticize Selig.

As Selig plans his farewell tour / PR blitz, it ought to be obvious that the ARod takedown was a personal vendetta.

With all due respect ...

... you really have no idea:

"The testosterone creams and lozenges, the human growth hormone, the IGF (insulin-like growth factor), the pregnenolone (steroid that may hide the use of anabolic steroids), the clomiphene (fertility drug also used to increase testosterone levels), the DHEA and the GHRP 2/6 (banned hormones said to increase output of HGH, and all the rest of A-Rod's complex drug regimen amounted to what the head of the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency Wednesday called 'the most potent and sophisticated drug program developed for an athlete that we've ever seen.'

And that includes Lance Armstrong's sophisticated protocol."

Popping a bunch of pills on a schedule now qualifies as sophisticated. The pills that gave Alex Rodriguez the immense power to hit baseballs to the warning track.


"We have ever seen" seems to be the key phrase.


World War II, a mathematician was charged with developing the most efficient armor for fighter planes. The initial study involved examining the bullet holes on the planes. Seems obvious. Put the armor in the places where planes get hit the most.

But, no.

These were the planes that made it back.

The planes that got shot down? We can't study their bullet hole patterns.

The answer is in the data we can't see. The planes that made it back survived the attack. The planes that didn't make it back needed to be strengthened. So the armor needs to go where we don't see the bullet holes, ensuring maximum protection.


It should go without saying, but here it is, anyway.

The most sophisticated doping regimens are precisely the doping regimens that are evading your detection.

I don't blame the arbitrator.

He's a pawn in Selig's final PR blitz.

Comforting to see that not everyone is buying it:

"At the end of the 60 Minutes report, all is ugliness. A-Rod is guilty and lying, surely, Anthony Bosch seems a first-class lowlife, Rob Manfred comes across as Old Man Potter from 'It’s a Wonderful Life,' and the only winner in the whole mess — THE ONLY WINNER — seems to be the drugs themselves, which apparently work miracles and, if used right, are undetectable.

So what point of all this again?

Scott Pelley ends the report like so: 'And Bud Selig has announced his retirement from the game. Part of his legacy is the establishment of the toughest anti-doping rules in all of American pro sports.'

There it is. Bud Selig, who has been commissioner over the worst drug scandal to ever hit American sports, who presided over a game that ten years ago DID NOT TEST for drugs, got 60 Minutes to put that line at the end. Part of his legacy is this glorious chapter of buying papers from Bobby, threatening and paying off Boesch and nailing Alex Rodriguez.

The report ended and only then, if you watch the Internet videos, do you get the biggest lesson of all. You get to see who sponsored the report.

Viagra."

Madden gets his pound of flesh.

"Through all this disgrace, A-Rod sounds as if he still thinks he controls his destiny in baseball.

Well, here’s a bulletin for him: He controls nothing."


Maybe you can lend him some of your incontinence medication, you miserable old turd.


"It was not surprising, given his narcissistic, delusional nature, that A-Rod’s immediate response to the record drug suspension baseball arbitrator Fredric Horowitz levied on him Saturday was defiance. The deck was stacked against him from Day 1, the arbitrator was biased, Major League Baseball was corrupt in the manner in which it made its case against him, the Yankees and Randy Levine conspired with MLB to get his contract voided and, by golly, he is going to court to get exonerated for all of this."

Let's go through it:

Deck was stacked; arbitrator was not biased; MLB was corrupt; Yankees and MLB did not conspire, but they Yankees are happy that MLB did their dirty work for them.

So ARod is correct in 2 out of 4 of his complaints summarized herein.


He is guilty of taking steroids. That should be 50 - 100 games, like everyone else. (Yes, he foolishly turned down a shorter banishment, but that was before Bosch came forward. When hit with 211 or threatened with a lifetime ban, I'd imagine the cost-benefit analysis shifts.)

He is guilty of being a narcissist. Not a crime. Zero games.

Hie is guilty of being delusional. Not a crime. Zero games.

In fact, many of the ballplayers who Madden happily covers are guilty of at least one of these things, if not all three.


While Madden briefly mentioned the idea that ARod ratted out other players, that is a worse crime than anything mentioned above. It may be true, it may not be true, it's kind of hard to tell. Lots of leaks.

Some rumors indicated that ARod was co-owner of Biogeneis or got a finder's fee.  If so, that's not just a suspension, that's prison.

But here's what gets me the most. Boschs' reliability is questionable for sure, but Bosch suggested on "60 Minutes" that ARod threatened Bosch's life. I have not seen one columnist recoil in horror at this suggestion (though I briefly heard Stephen A. Smith on the radio). Again, that's prison.

I truly wonder if Bill Madden thinks that narcissism is a worse crime than, you know ... Crime crimes.


So we got the evidence, MLB's case is strong enough for an arbitrator. A criminal court would have probably tossed all of it, but this isn't a criminal court.

But unless we have evidence that ARod worked for Bosch or threatened Bosch, then I still don't understand why he should get more than 50-100, like everyone else.

If there is evidence that ARod committed those crimes, then call the cops and get him out of here. It's out of MLB's purview at that point

Selig's PR strategy will work.

"But this whole ordeal was completely necessary. And it was done through a process that by now is regarded as time-tested and fair.

Baseball doesn't necessarily 'win' in the literal sense when one of its biggest names is suspended for one year for violating the collectively bargained drug policy. But baseball did what it had to do in this case, to preserve the integrity of its drug-testing program and to preserve the integrity of the game itself.

On Saturday, an arbitrator hearing Rodriguez's appeal of a 211-game suspension ruled that Rodriguez would be suspended for 162 games, the entire 2014 season."


ARod never failed a drug test. So tell me about the integrity of its drug-testing program again?

Ponder the amount of time and effort MLB used to get this suspension against one player. Now imagine they used those resources against every other player.

This is why this strikes a lot of people as unfair.

It's not that ARod is innocent, it's that the "integrity of the game itself" is laughable when Big Papi is handed the World Series MVP by the same man who crusades against ARod.

You tell me if it's a personal vendetta when Selig is on "60 Minutes" claiming he'd never seen anything like it in 50 years. Yeah, that's because you weren't looking, pal.

Three Winners

"It could very well be that Sept. 25, 2013 vs. the Rays was Rodriguez’s last game.

The winners also are obvious: Bud Selig and the Yankees."

Alex Rodriguez's lawyers also won, unless they are refunding their money.

The whole steroid era.

I like the guy who says he won't vote for anyone from the steroid era, but then votes for Jack Morris.  It also means he will never vote for any baseball player ever again.

Because nobody cares about wild cards.

I challenge anyone to remember 2013's MLB exciting wild card one-game matchups.  Just name the four teams involved.  You can't do it, can you?

Thanks for the free advertising, by the way.

"Praise the Lord and pass the checkbook, if the Yankees outbid everybody for this kid Tanaka, perhaps our long national nightmare — and obsession — about a $189 million payroll for the Yankees might finally come to an end."

I don't quite understand the focus on $189 million, either. I always considered it a negotiation tactic more than anything else, though there may be some movement to cut payroll slightly.

Tanaka will sign with the Red Sox, which will trigger effusive Cherington praise from Lupica, and then Tanaka will be a disappointment in the American major leagues. That's my prediction.


"The coverage, of course, will be that Hal Steinbrenner has finally come to his senses, as if the Yankees going past $200 million again guarantees them World Series No. 28."

The coverage will be the Yankees are a third-place team.

No legitimate source in the entire world will guarantee a World Series for the Yankees.


"But Hal Steinbrenner has a right to look at the bottom line on his own bottom line."

No, he doesn't.

It is against the New York State Constitution for Hal Steinbrenner to look at the (ahem) bottom line on his own bottom line.


"He has a right to look back over the past decade, just since the luxury tax found its way into Major League Baseball, and not only see the $250 million the Yankees have had to shell out because of that tax (out of a total of $280 million in all of baseball), but the $200 million-plus his team pays out every single year in payroll.

You do the math on that."

No.

You do the math.

The big boy math.

Revenue, expenses, income before interest and taxes, return on investment, return on equity, total assets, etc.


"Oh sure, go ahead, do the math on payroll plus taxes as you remember that the Yankees since 2000 have won the same number of World Series as the Marlins and White Sox, one fewer than the Cardinals, two fewer than the Red Sox.

Steinbrenner has been portrayed as some kind of narrow-minded cheapskate for asking his baseball people to just spend an amount of money that is more than any team in baseball — other than his own — has ever spent on a World Series-winning team, in all of baseball history."

I have not seen any person describe Steinbrenner as a narrow-minded cheapskate.

Nor have I seen any person guarantee a World Series championship for the Yankees.  90 wins is the most optimistic prediction I have seen, and that included Tanaka.

Everyone knows the Yankees are not winning championships and everyone knows they are no longer a top-tier team. Lupica is either arguing with the Yankees PR crew or with voices in his head.

As for the success of the past decade, measure it in franchise value and it has been incredibly successful. The real story is that this asset train keeps rolling along despite a lack of titles.

Who watches the watchmen?

Sportswriters judging the character of baseball players.

Sportswriters, who seemingly rate a player based on the player's willingness to conduct locker room interviews.  I'm surprised sometimes that they let Eddie Murray in.

"Need" is a funny word.

Not sure why the consensus seems to be the Yankees "need" a Japanese pitcher.

The thing is, it's only $20 million.

Bartolo Colon's contract is smaller than Phil Hughes's.

It's lot of things, but it certainly is not a blockbuster contract:

"So perhaps it’s appropriate the Mets celebrated this milestone anniversary by blowing the dust off that wallet Sherman referred to and signing Bartolo Colon to the kind of two-year, $20 million deal that had disappeared from their arsenal not long after however many hundreds of millions of dollars disappeared from their Madoff accounts.


Maybe this really is a sign the Mets are back in the business of brandishing, pairing the Colon signing with Curtis Granderson and seemingly stating, for the first time in forever, Madoff’s $50 billion lie finally has stopped chiseling away at their finances and their foundation."

It's a low-risk, low-money, probably low-reward contract.

In terms of 2013 MLB, it's not a blockbuster. You'll need to add another zero to the $20.

Marvin Miller is an American hero and a savior of Major League baseball. Bill Madden? Not so much.

The sport Marvin Miller saved allows Human Garbage like Bill Madden to make a living, and that's kind of a shame:

"You want to know why Miller, who missed by only one vote in the last Expansion Era election three years ago, didn't come close this time? You probably need to look no further than his repeated statements prior to his death in November 2012, decrying the players union's agreement to drug testing."

1) Miller was 100% correct. You want a drug test, you get a Court order.

2) Doesn't explain why Miller wasn't elected long before 2012.

"Almost to a man, the Hall-of-Fame players have condemned the alleged steroids cheats — Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Roger Clemens et al, who have obliterated their records or passed many of them on the all-time lists — and Miller's adamant stance against taking measures to clean up the game has diminished him despite all his accomplishments on their behalf."

Colon to the Mets!

Because Bill Madden cares about ethics!

Or maybe Madden just has an affinity for colons, since he's a 6-foot piece of crap.


"And lest anyone still believes this is still an owners' conspiracy to keep Miller out of the Hall of Fame, again, there were only four owner/executives on the 16-man committee. The rest were either senior baseball writers, historians or former managers. It was not much different from the first Veterans Committee ballot Miller appeared on in 2001, which then was comprised of all the living Hall-of-Famers, most of them former players who were Miller's constituents, and he fell short by more than 10% of the necessary 75%."

No one said Hall of Fame ballplayers were intelligent people.

They owe Marvin Miller just about everything, and so does Bill Madden.

If Hell has a newspaper, Bill Madden will have all Eternity to write its Ethics column.

Curtis Granderson

If you want to improve your status in the Daily News, simply sign with the Mets.

Andy Martino compares Granderson to HOFer Catfish Hunter:

"When Hunter signed a then-historic five-year, $3.35 million contract with the Yankees before the 1975 season, his arrival augered a better age for a team emerging from its darkest phase.  The onetime Oakland ace ended up a pedestrian 63-53 for the Yanks, though he contributed in key moments.
But that was hardly the point.  Hunter was George Steinbrenner’s first big catch, before Reggie, Goose, or any of the others who headlined the late-70s dynasty. Catfish was the beginning of Yankees spending, the true end of the doldrums of CBS ownership, the signal that the team was emerging again.

Thirty years later, the Mets employed this same approach, using significant offers to Pedro Martinez and Carlos Beltran to signify that they were back after a few seasons behind the shadows, ready for relevance in the Omar Minaya age.  That plan never resulted in a championship, but did give the team and it’s fans several years of intrigue and excitement. Martinez and Beltran were worthwhile contracts for the Mets, and the latter was greatest free agent acquisition in franchise history."

I get what he's trying to say, but Granderson is not that thing.

Also, the Mets signing of Pedro was a disaster.  $50 million for 32 wins.


Lupica's predictable endorsement of All Things Mets feels like the Geno Smith Kiss of Death:

"Curtis Granderson won’t hit as many pitching-wedge shots over the wall at Citi Field, but he will help the Mets a lot, and probably go back to being the kind of hitter he was when he was with Detroit."


Granderson hasn't been a Tiger since 2009.

Why would a 33-year-old be as productive as he was at his peak at the age of 26? 

At the end of this contract, the 36-year-old injury-prone OFer is going to hit 20 triples just because CitiField plays large in the power alleys?

Granderson's age is a non-issue, but age is all you hear about when the subject is Beltran, Ellsbury, Soriano, etc.



I am not slagging on Granderson. I think it was a good signing for the Mets and would be a good signing for any team.  (Same goes for Ellsbury, McCann, and Beltran.)

Thing is, Granderson is not the Pied Piper putting an entire sub-.500 franchise on his shoulders.  Fans aren't going to clock to CitiField to see the 100th-best player in baseball.

Granderson is also not the owner of a time machine.

The Daily News is simply insistent on pushing a pro-Mets/anti-Yankee agenda.

Should the Yankees sign Bartolo Colon?

Bill Madden wants the Mets to sign Colon.

I have a hunch that Madden wouldn't even consider Colon for the Yankees because Colon is too old for the Yankees and too suspended by MLB. Is there a single player that Madden wants the Mets to sign who is not a steroid cheat?

I just heard the song "Car Wash" in the supermarket.

I was thinking the hand claps at the beginning are probably sampled a lot.

What does that have to do with baseball?

Alex Rodriguez:

"Maybe Yankee fans can start organizing weekend car wash events if that’s what it will take for their team to pay off Alex Rodriguez and tell him to go away."

I don't get it.

 

I get what Lupica is trying to say ... Yankee fans don't want ARod around anymore.  

 

But I don't get why he brought up a car wash.  

 

Is that supposed to be funny?

Besides, the Yankees probably have money-printing machines right behind Monument Park (yuck yuck).

 

 

"This isn’t about whether the Yankees can afford Cano; of course they can afford him, they’re the Yankees and probably have money-printing machines behind Monument Park."

 

Exactly!

 

"But Cano’s contract will be a bad one at the back end the way CC Sabathia’s will be a bad contract at the end, the way Rodriguez’s contract turned out to be the worst contract in all of world history.

So here’s the deal if they do go to eight years and $200 million at the end:

When he breaks down in three or four years, nobody is allowed to be surprised."
 

Like every Yankee and every non-Yankee.  But I don't recall the same scrutiny applied to Johan Santana, Dustin Pedroia, and David Wright.

 

In fact, it would be amusing if Cano actually signed with the Mets. In Lupica World, Cano would instantly go from overrated and overpaid to the Greatest Athlete in New York History (outside of Geno Smith and Tony Womack).