Sunday, February 08, 2015

Do you care about Lance Armstrong? I know I don't.

"You know why the Yankees are going to meet with Rodriguez, and his lawyers, after turning him down originally?"


"They are doing that to come up with a way that somebody whose Lance Armstrong confessional will be conducted with the media instead of just Oprah doesn’t make it appear that the Yankees are the ones who have crossed the clown line, because they either take this guy back or give him $61 million or so in parting gifts."

Oh. Crossed the clown line? Who's crossing he clown line?

I'm confused. I'll try again after removing some of the extraneous clauses. Break the sentence down:
 "They (the Yankees) are meeting with ARod to come up with a way that somebody (ARod) doesn't make it appear that the Yankees are the ones who have crossed the clown line."

Another cut:
  "The Yankees are doing this to come up with a way that ARod doesn't make it appear that the Yankees are the ones who have crossed the clown line."

The essence. Why are the Yankees doing this?:

" ... to come up with a way that ARod doesn't make it appear that the Yankees are the ones who have crossed the clown line.

I read it a few times and I don't know why Lupica thinks the Yankees are meeting with ARod.

"But there is substantial risk for Rodriguez, too, when he spins his tale of enlightenment and forgiveness and throws himself on the mercy of the court of public opinion: He has to make sure, now and going forward, that the story he tells about his drug use and his involvement with Anthony Bosch, the fresh prince of Biogenesis, doesn’t conflict with the story he told the feds when they gave him his 'Queen for a Day' immunity deal on Bosch."

Substantial risk in losing the court of public opinion.

That's totally true.

What ever would Alex Rodriguez do if he lost in the Court of Public Opinion?

Hey, I just got an idea. Let me head on over to and get a fresh new ARod jersey to welcome him back.

That's weird.

There aren't any.

Maybe they just temporarily sold out of ARod jerseys? Since he's so popular? That must be it.

I mean, they have a Brian Roberts jersey for the low, low price of $225.99 ... lots and lots of #2 jerseys ... but no #13 to be found anywhere.

"Alex Rodriguez is about to find that out along with the rest of us. Our Lance Armstrong now returns to the Tour de Yankees. Everybody up on their bikes."

You wrote the article, not me, so  I guess you're right up on the bike.

As for Lance Armstrong, it is a useless analogy. You're writing about New York baseball in a New York Baseball newspaper. Alex Rodriguez has been on the Yankees roster for 11 years. Lance Armstrong rode bicycles in France, or something.

"The most interesting man in the world at this Yankee spring training isn’t going to be Alex Rodriguez, by the way.

It’s going to be Masahiro Tanaka."

I think there are at least 20 players more interesting than ARod.

But you designated Tanaka as more interesting, and I totally agree ... and that is the last time you mentioned Tanaka ... and you just wrote your entire Sunday column about ARod.

"Woods turns 40 later this year.

Alex Rodriguez turns 40.

Think about where they both were seven years ago, when we thought one was going to pass Jack Nicklaus and the other was going to pass Barry Bonds someday."

That's Tiger Woods, a golfer.

"You know what the real story of spring training for the Yankees is?

It isn’t that Alex Rodriguez will be there.

It is that Derek Jeter won’t."

You can write about these real stories if you prefer. I know I'd prefer if you occasionally wrote a real story, though I kinda think the Absence of Jeter angle is played out.

You just wrote a large article article about ARod. Sunday morning column.

You compared ARod to Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, Masahiro Tanaka, and Derek Jeter. Other people only exist as they relate to ARod.

The whole time, you're insisting that nobody should really care about ARod.

Well, guess what? I kind of don't care about ARod.

I may sound like a turncoat, but the facts have changed. For a long time, ARod was a great player, but I don't think he's a good baseball player anymore. Now he's a washed-up DH who will bat 7th.

I'm rooting for him in the sense that he's going to wear Yankee pinstripes on a baseball field.

It might not be long until he's unceremoniously benched and then unceremoniously dropped.

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