Congratulations! Here's to 1,000 more!

If Joe Torre is still managing this team ten years from now, I may be forced to take matters into my own hands.

I have a sneaky suspicion that Torre retires the same day Mariano Rivera retires.

Anyway, today is not the day to criticize. Today is the the day to reflect and celebrate.

George Steinbrenner is very proud of Torre:

"I'm very proud of him," Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said through spokesman Howard Rubenstein. "He's making the right moves. He knows how to lead the team, and he's shown great leadership."

Congratulations, Clueless Joe! You proved everybody wrong.

I know your heart hasn't been in it for the past couple of years and that you almost quit after last year's grueling season because managing the Yankees for $millions must be a torturous gig. Especially since Andy Pettitte broke your heart.

I know you don't really know who's batting fourth or fifth in the lineup anymore, but that's okay, because what's the point of accumulating laurels if you can't rest on them? This isn't about lineups and baseball strategy, anyway. This is about respect.

In the spirit of charity and life-affirming goodness, I can celebrate Torres 1,000th Yankee win on my blog.

Just don't say anything stupid today. Just accept the congratulations and don't say anything. Smile at Kim Jones and give Suzyn Waldman a kiss.

Can Torre do this?

No:

"Matsui was playing in his 516th straight game for the Yankees and 1,766 in a row counting his Japanese League career.

'It was kind of a day off for him,' Torre said. 'Just running back and forth from left field can take its toll.' "

Joe Torre is talking about a professional athlete who is paid $13 million to play left field for the Yankees. Joe Torre just said that jogging back and forth to his outfield position between innings can take its toll.

I think all the professional football players are laughing at all the professional baseball players.