You're either a liar or you're stupid.

"Alex Rodriguez was moved out of the cleanup spot last night but it wasn't a demotion; it was more like an accident.

As Joe Torre and bench coach Lee Mazzilli were discussing potential lineups before the game, Torre told Mazzilli to make up one batting order with Gary Sheffield - starting for the first time since last Saturday - back in his usual No. 3 slot and then 'just move everyone else down.'

It didn't occur to anyone that Jason Giambi had been moved up from fifth to third during Sheffield's absence, so pushing everyone down meant A-Rod would hit fifth."

It was an accident? It didn't occur to anyone that Giambi had been moved up from fifth to third during Sheffield's absence? Nobody double-checks the lineup card?

So you're stupid.


"Still, the manager said he plans to stick with the batting order for at least another day because 'it worked. It's about as simple as that.'"

So it wasn't a mistake after all. So you're lying.

But why lie? :

"'If it had been on purpose, I would have gone and talked to him before doing it,' Torre said."

Oh, now I see what really happened.

You wanted to bat ARod fifth because he's slumping. But you didn't want to confront ARod and own up to it. You probably didn't want to hurt the AL MVP's confidence.

Instead, you lied about it, came up with a dopey excuse, and insulted everybody's intelligence.

But it worked. So stick with it. You're a genius, Torre. You're just a regular baseball Svengali.

Kind of like two games ago when you called ARod aside and told him to "get a hit." Or last night when you went to the mound and told Mariano to "get an out."

You taught Alex Rodriguez how to hit and Mariano Rivera how to pitch. You are a genius.