Did you know cortisone is a steroid?

I don't get the unending "Christmas Miracle" joke and I don't understand Lupica's personal gripe with Bartolo Colon, of all people:

"If Christmas Miracle Colon makes it to the end of the season pitching at anything close to a high level, they're going to have to open another branch of that hospital in the Dominican where he got his 'stem cells.' "

First of all, you're accusing Bartolo Colon of lying and cheating. That's the clear insinuation of putting the words "stem cells" in quotation marks. So you're accusing Bartolo Colon of using human growth hormones or steroids.

I can't prove Colon didn't use steroids, but Lupica has the burden of proof.

I know that filthy liars like Lupica project their tendencies upon other people, but this is quite an accusation to make without proof.


Secondly, I thought of Colon when I heard about Lackey's cortisone shot.

Lackey sure is pitching better since his "cortisone shot," don't you think?

It's understandable that Lackey would turn to "cortisone shots," given the pressure of his contract. Lackey probably asked David Ortiz how Ortiz's career suddenly rebounded for a second time (wink, wink). Maybe Lackey uses Ortiz's "supplier" of 100% legal medicinal aids.


"The Mets may be running out of steam, but Jose Reyes sure can't if he wants to get paid, right?"

Yes, it would be terrific if the Mets overpaid for the overrated Jose Reyes.

But the Mets can't be running out of steam. The Mets are the biggest story in New York and you just said one week ago that you'd never give up on the Mets.

To quoth:

"Even if Santana does come back, it is hard to say how the Mets keep the Braves in sight. Or stay over .500. That doesn't make sense. But neither has the Mets season over the last 80 games or so. You count them out now that Beltran is gone. Count me out of the counting-out business with Collins' Mets."

Do you know what men do? Men say what they mean and mean what they say.

Your punishment for lying is mandatory attendance at every Mets game for the rest of the season. You have to ignore the first-place Yankees and write a column about every interminable, September-callup, 10-games-out-of-the-Wild-Card Mets game.


"You can trust me on this one:

You know what the guys running the Yankees must fantasize about a lot:

Getting out from under the rest of Alex Rodriguez's contract somehow.

The modern-day Yankees have signed players to a lot of dumb contracts over the years.

Never one as dumb as A-Rod's."

This weird, ongoing proclamation goes beyond typical anti-ARod/anti-Yankee bias. It's just downright illogical and easily disprovable.

My advice is, don't trust Mike Lupica on anything. The only thing he's consistent at is being Mike Lupica. Which means being a hypocrite ... or maybe an ignoramus.

Lupica proclaims no modern-day Yankee contract is worse than ARod's contract.

Just on the current 2011 Yankees (or Trenton Thunder, as the case may be): Kei Igawa, Mark Teixeira, A.J. Burnett, Derek Jeter, Rafael Soriano, Jorge Posada.

"Modern-day" Yankees could go back to Steve Kemp, but certainly would include, say, Jeff Weaver, Hideki Irabu, Carl Pavano, Javier Vazquez, Jaret Wright, Kevin Brown, Jason Giambi.

What about the Roger Clemens contract of 2007?

ARod's annual .300/30/100 is dumber than paying a 44-year-old pitcher a pro-rated salary of $28 million (?) ... which would have been the highest salary in baseball at the time ... to win 6 games and lose 6 games? To last a whole 2 1/3 innings in the playoffs?

I know the ARod contract is longer and the ARod contract is bigger, so it's appropriate to grade on a curve. But ARod earns his money and always has.

I think the "guys running the Yankees" fantasize about different things. The "guys running the Yankees" are happy to overpay for ARod, Jeter, Posada, Burnett, etc., as long as the Yankees keep winning and the merch keeps moving.

I think the "guys running the Yankees" fantasize about similarly overpaying for Cliff Lee.