Chemistry!

"Jason Giambi has been paid more than $20 million a season to hit baseballs and help teams win championships."

I can't think of one professional baseball championship that Jason Giambi was a part of.


"Now, he's making $750,000 as a 42-year-old part-time player and full-time mentor for a team trying to figure out how to win."

I tell all my proteges to take lots of steroids.


"If the Cleveland Indians are right — in fact, if a growing number of teams have calculated correctly something impossible to measure — this could be the most cost-effective use of Giambi in his 19-year career."

Well, he won a steroid-fueled MVP for the A's. So while it may have been fraudulent, it was quite cost-effective.


"In an era when advanced metrics ostensibly can determine a player's exact value, many teams — to the chagrin of statistical analysts — still seek the elusive and nebulous intangibles that go beyond measurable on-field contributions."

No person who has ever designed a metric has claimed the metric could determine a player's exact value.


"The code words for this quality can vary by clubhouse.

Indians manager Terry Francona uses 'atmosphere' to describe what he wants Giambi to help establish. The Arizona Diamondbacks re-made their roster this offseason and the buzzword around the team is 'grit.'

It also goes by 'chemistry' and 'culture.' "

If consuming tons of performance-enhancing chemicals can make one an expert in chemistry, then Giambi is your man.

Other than that, for $750k the Indians can expect a pinch-hitter who takes a lot of pitches. Probably not bad for $750k.


"So, it was a jolt to the numbers community when McCarthy chose an appearance at this spring's Society for American Baseball Research Analytics Conference to say that if you took Jonny Gomes and Brandon Inge away from the 2012 Athletics, they would have gone from 94 wins to 70-something wins on the basis of 'what happens behind closed doors.'

Gomes played in 99 games for the A's and hit .262. Inge batted just .226 in 74 games.

'I know it sounds really stupid, but it's kind of like being an artist where the more comfortable you feel, usually your better work comes out,' McCarthy says."

Actually, you are 100% correct: It sounds really stupid.