RBIs are still a somewhat important baseball statistic.

"The great thing about Rodriguez holding (by some accounts) an RBI record is it combines the two most mysterious and controversial elements of our time: RBIs and performance-enhancing drugs."

I think most philosophers and scientists would agree that RBIs and PEDs are the most mysterious and controversial elements of our time.



"We can't decide if RBIs are important and we're pretty sure, but not positive, PEDs are, but you could find plenty to argue the reverse."

I don't think I could find one person who doesn't think PEDs are important.


"A big deal? I don't really know. So I asked Albert Pujols, who is 374 RBI behind Rodriguez and 4½ years younger."

You're a baseball writer who doesn't know if RBIs are a big deal?

Your research assistant is Albert Pujols? What do you think Albert Pujols is going to say about RBIs? That he doesn't like them and his salary is therefore fraudulent?

Guess what? Albert Pujols thinks RBIs are important.