God Bless America and God Bless the Yankees.

I mean, I don't think anyone really cares about ARod's bonus or ARod's ball.

But at least it provided Mike Lupica a chance to write a masterpiece:

"In the end, Hal Steinbrenner is better than this whole business with Alex Rodriguez and his records and his milestones, tainted by as famous a user of sports drugs as Barry Bonds or Lance Armstrong ever was."

Those three are the Mount Rushmore of Famous Users of Sports Drugs.

They all took "sports drugs." Alex Rodriguez is not a famous athlete who used drugs. He is a famous athlete who used "sports drugs."


"After what Rodriguez put the Yankees through a couple of years ago, calling the president of the team the 'Devil' and accusing a team doctor of malpractice and threatening to sue everybody and everything except the monuments in Monument Park to save his sorry reputation, Hal Steinbrenner and Randy Levine, the guy Rodriguez called the Devil, could have fought him on those bonuses the way baseball fought Rodriguez on the lies he told about Biogenesis."

Think of the children.


"But at least some good comes out of this. It has hardly anything to do with Rodriguez and everything to do with the Yankees, the ones who broker this deal so that the bonus money goes to charity, and the baseball Rodriguez hit over the fence to get to 3,000 hits goes back to Rodriguez and his daughters."

The Yankees are Saints.


"The Yankees were not just better than Rodriguez, whose ability to still hit has been the fuel for one of the great and relentless public relations campaigns in history. Steinbrenner and Levine were bigger, and not in an artificial and inflated and even dishonest way."

Okay:

1) I don't trust Mike Lupica's ability to judge a person's honesty.

2) He just wrote ... he actually wrote this, in actual English words ... that ARod's ability to hit in the 2015 baseball season has been the fuel for "one of the great and relentless public relations campaigns in history."

So, dear reader, is this a non sequitur dropped into a serious column? Or is the whole column a prank?

Or, most likely, Lupica is so deluded and lacking perspective that he truly believes that the general acknowledgement of ARod's surprisingly good 2015 offensive output qualifies as "one of the great and relentless public relations campaigns in history."

Goebbels had nothing on Steve Serby.


"This had nothing to do with the old and out-of-date concept that the Yankees are still the Evil Empire of baseball. This was about the Yankees taking the high road here. Even the point-missers who thought Rodriguez had some sort of sacred right to those 'milestone' bonuses must be able to figure that out."

The concept that the Yankees are the Evil Empire can't really be out of date, because it was never in date. Only foolish people like Mike Lupica gave it any credence in the first place.

I think the Yankees always had a strong case against ARod regarding the milestone bonuses. Nobody cares anymore because he cheated. I personally never cared much in the first place -- a "3k hit" tee shirt just isn't my thing.

But the so-called "point-missers" may just be stringent supporters of Contract Law in the USA.



"This isn’t about what kind of numbers Rodriguez would have put into the record books if he hadn’t started juicing, whenever he actually started doing that in his baseball career."

It's about the children


"This isn’t about whether you think he’s still getting away with something now, or simply still reaping the benefits of baseball drugs, which studies say can benefit you for a long time."

 "Studies say they can benefit you for a long time." Very detailed observation, thanks for the information. Unnamed studies say that "baseball drugs" can be beneficial for "a long time."


1) PEDs are not "baseball drugs," just like they're not "sports drugs." They're just drugs. If a baseball player uses a drug, the drug is not transformed into a "baseball drug."

2) As for the time frame, I'd say the time frame is easy to determine. Start with the last time Robinson Cano took a PED and then end with Opening Day 2015. Subtract those two dates and that is the definitive length of time "baseball drugs" can benefit you.



"This isn’t even about what it will be like at Yankee Stadium someday if Rodriguez actually passes Babe Ruth on the all-time home run list."

Unlikely event, but now that you've explained all the things it's not about, please tell us what it's about.


"This is about the Yankees showing class toward a guy who showed them none when he was caught as captain of the Biogenesis All-Stars."

Because the Yankee are, above all, classy.

Now Kate Smith will sing God Bless America.