You don't actually know any Yankee fans.

You know the most memorable part of Pedro Martinez's Hall of Fame career?

Mike Lupica.

Because after Lupica gets off his personal phone call with Reginald Martinez Jackson, he can explain the great story of the time he shook hands with Pedro Martinez:

"The room was full of ballplayers and media, everybody waiting for the game to start, and suddenly Pedro and I were in the middle of the room, and briefly became the floor show.

'Why did you call me a drama queen?' he said.

I told him that I hadn’t, and asked him if he’d actually read the column, although we never really established whether he had or not. But he got on a roll pretty quickly, and it was hard to stop him when he got on a roll. When it was finally my turn, I explained what I’d meant and told him the column was about how truly gifted I thought he was, but that if he’d misinterpreted my meaning, I was sorry about that.

All he heard was 'sorry.' In that moment he acted like he’d gotten another win. He put out that amazing right hand, and I shook it, and that was that"

Sounds like two drama queens whining about silly nonsense ... and a sad confession by a writer who actually apologized to the subjects of his column.

I mean ... no wonder you ignore the fact that Pedro took steroids. You wouldn't want to lose a friend.


Back to "baseball," I think the following observation is intended as a dig against the first-place Yankees:

"Somehow, even the way the Yankees hit at home, and even with the way the Mets score runs about as often as the U.S. men’s soccer team scored against Jamaica this week, the Mets still have a better home record than the guys on 161st St."

1) "Somehow" = "pitching."

2) The conclusion I'm reaching is that the Mets have a really awful road record.

3) Nobody who reads your column knows anything about the U.S. soccer team. It's a backwards metaphor which explains nothing to your audience.


On to the Big Unit:

"In what became a Madison Bumgarner world last October, it is worth remembering the time when Randy Johnson started and won Game 6 of a World Series against the Yankees, then finished and won Game 7 the next night.

He pitched seven innings the first night and 1.1 innings the next, and got the victory because Luis Gonzalez blooped one over Derek Jeter’s head to plate the winning run of the 2001 Series."

Yeah, but we want locker room handshake stories.


"And, of course, that was the second time in Johnson’s career that he came running out of the bullpen in a deciding game in October against the Yankees.

It also happened in 1995, Game 5 of an unforgettable division series between the Yankees and the Mariners, at the Kingdome in Seattle.

Johnson had started and won Game 3 on Friday night and then in Game 5 he came out of the bullpen and struck out six in three innings before Edgar Martinez chased home Junior Griffey to send the Yankees home that year."

My head was under the covers.

Jack McDowell was pitching for the Yankees, keeping with your "out of the bullpen" theme.

Jack McDowell will not be inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame today.


"Sometimes Yankee fans remember only the seasons Johnson had here, one of which saw a 5.00 earned-run average even if he did win 17 games."

But you just said those other events were unforgettable.


"Sometimes Yankee fans remember only the seasons Johnson had here, one of which saw a 5.00 earned-run average even if he did win 17 games."

OK, you don't know any Yankee fans.

I always thought it was bogus and weird that Schilling got co-MVP of the 2001 World Series because Johnson won 3 freaking games ... and it's possible that Johnson's dominance is sort of combined with Schilling and Luis Gonzalez  and Mariano's throw into CF in a Yankee Fan Bad Memory Stew ... but there is NO CHANCE that Yankee fans have FORGOTTEN ABOUT the 2001 World Series.

Or the 1995 series against Seattle. Come on. McDowell to Edgar Martinez; Gerald Williams in LF; Leyritz catching. Maybe some fans have forgotten who was pitching in relief for Seattle that day, but that play is seared into our memories, and we don't need youtube.


Ask Yankee fans about Randy Johnson's Yankee career.

Randy Johnson pitched for the Yankees for two years, don't you remember?

Oh, yeah! Now I remember, now that you mention it.