David Brooks writes about baseball.

Mets players must be thrilled to hear that a New York Times columnist is rooting for them.

For the rest of us, it's just yet another topic for David Brooks to mangle incoherently:

"In 2005, I wrote a column saying that maybe it was time to abandon the New York Mets and become a fan of the Washington Nationals. My reasoning was sound. We were raising our kids in Washington. We had Nats season tickets. We were acquiring Nats paraphernalia. It would be so easy to join the fold."

Really?

That is very interesting.

In 2005, I wrote a column about Mike Lupica.


"Since then, the reasons to leave the Mets and follow the Nats have become even more compelling. The Mets have suffered a pair of bone-crushing late-season collapses that have changed the personality of the franchise. The team is mired in financial turmoil. It is expected to be mediocre for the next several seasons, at best."

So you're a fan of a baseball team and you remain a fan of the team even though they are not a good team.

Kind of like every fan of every team.


"The Nats, meanwhile, have a set of astoundingly talented young players and should be thrilling to watch for the next decade."

I doubt that very much.


"There’s a core American debate between 'On the Road' and 'It’s a Wonderful Life.' 'On the Road' suggests that happiness is to be found through freedom, wandering and autonomy. 'It’s a Wonderful Life' suggests that happiness is found in the lifelong attachments that precede choice. It suggests that restraints can actually be blessings because they lead to connections that are deeper than temporary self-interest."

A core American debate in your mind only which really has nothing to do with baseball.

Why don't you try to impress your readers by reference "The Republic" and "Infinite Jest" and explain how they are competing paradigms which can be viewed through the prism of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. Because then the readers might think you are clever even though you are not clever.

Two little opinions jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head, mama called the dr. and the dr. said, no more opinions jumping on the bed.

Johan throws 29 pitches in Spring Training.

The ever-effervescent Mike Lupica's glass is half-full:

"Thanks to Johan Santana's superb spring debut, the NY Mets have hope for 2012," reads the headline.

"Hope" to finish within 20 games of Philly? Perhaps. Lupica is kind of vague with the numbers, so it's hard to tell:

"If Santana can come all the way back and be the Mets’ Opening Day starter, be something close to what he was before he tore up his shoulder, then maybe the Mets can be a team to watch again. And maybe, with everything stacked against them the way it is, they can be a team in which Mets fans can invest not just their money, but the belief that maybe things can get better, after 5½ years of what feels like a Biblical plague since Molina hit that Game 7 home run and Carlos Beltran took a called strike three with the season on the bases at old Shea Stadium."

Look, man, Mets fans follow the Mets and Yankee fans follow the Yankees.

I don't know what Carlos Beltran has to do with anything in 2012 Mets Spring Training, but I can guarantee that I can find one million Lupica articles in the past 5 1/2 years where Lupica has implored the NY metro audience to ignore the Yankees and follow the Amazin's.

The whole time it was a Biblical plague. Rooting for the Fightin' Terrys of 2011 was analogous with the death of your firstborn son.

Was Lupica lying then or is Lupica lying now?


"So Rakoff basically says that he and the jury get to decide this thing now and, oh by the way, good luck to Picard. Only in the New York Times, of course, out of all the papers who gave Rakoff’s ruling big coverage, was this somehow viewed as a rousing triumph for the trustee, mostly because it fit the Picard-driven narrative of this story presented in that paper from the start.

So Rakoff and jury will decide, once and for all, if they believe Wilpon and Katz were 'willfully blind' to what Madoff was doing with their money and everybody else’s. Then once the trial is over, we finally begin to find out how — and if — the Mets move forward from every bad thing that has happened to them since Game 7 of 2006, and that includes Johan Santana’s left shoulder.

So Mike Lupica, Esquire, thinks a tort is a dessert you eat at Sunday brunch.

So Mike Lupica wants to give legal analysis. Based on Lupica's track record, this article is the one place on the entire planet where I can guarantee the information regarding the Madoff trial is incorrect and the conclusions are misguided.

So Mike Lupica.


"He came back and pitched two innings Tuesday. Twenty-nine pitches. Couple of sweet changeups, some fastballs he put where he wanted them. You can understand why it felt like more in Port St. Lucie."

No, I was hoping you could explain why these two Spring Training innings felt like more.

Then I read your article. However , you did not explain this in a way that I could understand. It just sounded like a weird Mets Fan Boy unwilling to admit the likelihood of his team's last-place finish in 2012.


Jeff Passan's glass of Santana is half-empty:

"There is quite literally a hidden beauty in baseball, one nobody has seen live or ever will because it takes place beneath the skin. The shoulder is a fascinating beast, untamed, undefeated. Players receive injections with stem cells made of their own fat and steal a tendon from their wrist to fix their elbow and still, no one has solved the shoulder, at least not with any level of certainty. It is baseball’s Moby Dick."

Moby Dick is a great white whale ... but I don't see why you had to bring Joba Chamberlain into it.

"At the moment, Johan Santana looks like little more than another iffy candidate. Tuesday in Port St. Lucie, Fla., he threw 29 pitches over two shutout innings against the St. Louis Cardinals in his first action against major-league hitters since Sept. 2, 2010. Less than two weeks after that start, Santana underwent surgery on his left shoulder for an anterior capsule tear. He tried returning in August 2011. After five Class A innings, his shoulder barked no.

That the New York Mets still have him penciled in for an opening-day start this season is either a reflexive response to the painful salaries they owe him for the next two years – $54.5 million, assuming they turn down a 2014 club option – or extreme faith in something with little history to warrant it. The list of pitchers who returned from capsule-tear surgery to anything near their previous level reads like this:

It killed Mark Prior’s career, slowed down Chien-Ming Wang’s, halted Pedro Feliciano’s and derailed dozens more before doctors could identify the exact problem. It’s why when pitchers go in for MRIs, they beg for the doctor to say: 'Elbow.' "

Dang, the Mets owe Santana $54.5 million over the next two years?

Just how many games is he going to win to give the Mets hope?

Pitchers can't hit.

"Major League Baseball has expanded its pool of postseason teams to 10 -- up from four just 19 years ago -- and next year will re-align into 15-team leagues that make for at least one interleague series all season long. But the biggest change of all may be around the next corner: the end of baseball as it was originally designed."

I think the introduction of mitts was the end of baseball as it was originally designed, but, whatever. Most things are inferior if they cling to how they were originally designed.


"Moreover, events of this winter spotlighted the negotiating advantage that AL teams have over NL teams with the use of the DH. Prince Fielder (nine-year contract) and Albert Pujols (10 years) jumped to AL clubs as free agents in part because AL teams can afford to offer longer contracts because a player can transition to the DH role as he ages. Eleven of the 13 richest contracts ever given to position players have been bankrolled by AL teams."

I think the lack of a DH hurts NL teams as described.


"There is no question that the style of NL baseball is more interesting and nuanced than AL baseball. Yes, it's a better game, the way chess is a better game than checkers. Game 6 of the 2011 World Series, just like Game 6 of the 1975 World Series, is one of the greatest games ever played because there was no DH. Texas manager Ron Washington used nine players in his number nine spot in his order. St. Louis manager Tony La Russa used pitchers in four of his nine spots and -- when down two runs in the 10th inning -- ran out of position players and had to use a pitcher to hit for a pitcher."

Hooray, everybody. He had to use a pitcher to hit for a pitcher.

Blech.

It's hardly like comparing chess to checkers. It's like comparing tic-tac-toe to tic-tac-toe.

I can easily make a counter-argument that Grady Little would have kept his job if he had the pinch-hitter option making his decision for him.

Besides, what do you remember about Game Six in 1975? You remember Fisk's homer. Another non-pitcher hitting another homerun.

Statistics.

"It isn't so long now since Ryan Braun won his appeal and got his 50-game suspension overturned and what he still hasn't explained - even as he apparently thinks his story should be the one in 'Les Miserables' — is how was enough of a scientific genius to do all that.

Spike two samples perfectly.

Fool the testers at the lab.

I mean, if Laurenzi can do all that, he's wasting his time on urine samples, the guy ought to be an art thief figuring out a way to rob the Met.

How did he do it?

And why did he do it?"

Braun indirectly attacked Laurenzi, this is true, but Braun has not charged Laurenzi with a crime.

False negatives are real things. Remember the NBA in the 1980s? When nobody failed a drug test? Instead of concluding the league is clean, one may conclude the test was flawed.

False positives are also real things (though they are "extremely unlikely" -- kind of like Braun's likelihood of overturning his drug test results, given MLB's previous overturn percentage of 0.00%) .

The testosterone levels of Braun's drug tests are something like this: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1,1 , 20, 20, 1, 1, 1. Probably exaggerated for the sake of this illustration.

The highest previous reading in the history of testosterone is 10.

So would you conclude that Braun suddenly used twice as much testosterone as anyone in history? Or might you conclude that the test was mistaken somehow? A clerical error, a damaged sample, a faulty calibration, etc.

I'm not saying this happened in this case for sure; I'm saying it happens for sure.

If your thermometer says it's 1,000 degrees outside, it's most likely a problem with your thermometer.

Why would Laurenzi do it? Maybe he's a Cardinals fan. Or maybe somebody at the lab is a Cardinals fan. Or maybe somebody at the lab is a trickster or an incompetent intern or maybe the lab thinks Six Sigma is a fraternity.

Which is one reason -- the Fourth Amendment of the Bill of Rights being the primary reason -- pro baseball players shouldn't even give urine samples in the first place.

"If the Yankees are going to get under that $189 million threshold by 2014, they better hope that Curtis Granderson stops hitting all those home runs.

Seriously, how do you pay him, and Cano, and keep paying A-Rod and Sabathia and Teixeira?"

They won't lower their payroll all the way to $189 million. Shrug.

Hal (not Hank) Steinbrenner is actually somewhat intelligent. He is correctly asserting that the Yankees can produce similar results with young players, particularly young pitchers.

In other words: Fewer A.J. Burnetts, more Aldo Novas.

Apparently, ARod is all in.

I think ARod is going to have a good offensive year.

But, you know, this is about the 1,000th time ARod has supposedly crossed an imaginary Maturity Boundary and become a True Yankee:

"But on Friday morning, hours before they’d open their spring schedule against the University of South Florida and start all over again, sources said Rodriguez commanded the room for more than 10 minutes like he never had before."

A ten-minute Spring Training speech.

On Friday morning, at work, I spent more than ten minutes discussing the relative merits of pomegranate iced tea vs. lemon iced tea. There's one iced tea with black pepper and pomegranate and it didn't taste too good, but it tastes good without the black pepper.


" 'It was great,' said one witness. 'I’d never seen that out of him before. I didn’t know he had it in him.' "

One witness is quite a source.


"According to those in the clubhouse, however, Rodriguez talked about being 'all in.' He advised them that, on that subject, there was only black or white, 'no gray.' He said each of them – from the biggest superstar to the last guy on the 40-man – knew what 'all in' meant. They’d had to have been 'all in' just to sit in that room, to make it this far. And that every man knew exactly what his 'all in' amounted to, in work ethic and dedication and sacrifice. He asked them to find that within them, to bring it every day, all season long, for the good of the Yankees. For the good of themselves."

According to unnamed witnesses in the clubhouse.


" 'Amazing,' a witness said. 'The guys were drawn to him.' "

A witness.

This didn't really happen, did it?

I love (insert name of Boston manager) and (insert name of Boston GM).

I feel kind of bad for Treey Francona and Theo Epstein. They've lost their honored place in the chambers of Mike Lupica's heart, replaced suddenly by Bobby Valentine and What's-His-Name:

"Valentine brings life and fun and even some nonsense to the whole thing now, in the first real week of spring training, whether he is talking about Derek Jeter and a play he made more than 10 years ago, or Jason Varitek and Alex Rodriguez getting into it one Saturday at Fenway nearly eight years ago. Or turning around the next day and doing everything except sending Jeter a bottle of wine as a peace offering."

The first real week of spring training.

When all the action happens.

Like a gaggle of Yankee players pondering who is going to throw pies in players' faces.


"Who knows how long Valentine lasts in Boston, and who cares?"

I know, but I'm not telling.

Lots of people care, particularly Red Sox fans.


"And seemed happy that he could still make a back-page headline in New York this long after he used to make them when he managed the Mets. And then, just because Bobby V never seems to run out of saliva, he talked about how much he loves Jeter as a baseball player."

Mike Lupica just said that another man never seems to run out of saliva.


"He is exactly the change they needed at Fenway Park. You heard all these names, so many of them uninteresting, when it came time to replace Terry Francona. Then Larry Lucchino threw Bobby Valentine’s name into the mix the way he would a lit firecracker. Now here is Valentine, back in play, back in the middle of the action, with the best team he has ever managed in the big leagues, even after what happened to it last September."

Get serious, Lupica.

Would it really have mattered who the Red Sox hired to replace Francona? Or if the Red Sox had stuck with Francona?

The Red Sox manager is always going to be the exact thing they need because you hate the Yankees and love the Red Sox.

Valentine could get dressed in a clown suit and toss babies and you'd say it's just what the Red Sox needed.

Almost everyone wants to be an underdog.

Hooray for David Wright:

"Not everyone was wowed by the additions to the clubhouse.

'I don’t really like using the whole underdog thing,' David Wright said. 'I don’t like really playing that card. I think it’s just a way to remind everyone in here that the outside expectations aren’t the expectations we have for ourselves.' "

Peter Gammons has nothing to say.

"They hadn't made the postseason in two years or won a playoff game since 2008, they'd blown the biggest September lead in history, been ridiculed as being characters from a lite beer commercial and while they'd offered up their best defense, they knew this was, in Bruce Hornsby's words, the end of the innocence."

Bruce Hornsby co-wrote that song with Don Henley. Peter Gammons casually references that factoid to let you know he's smarter than you.


"The agony of Aaron Boone in 2003 and the ecstasy of ending the 86-year itch in 2004 was the fantasy of Red Sox history, and when they won again in '07 and became the first team to win twice in the 21st century, there was an expectancy the Red Sox had never encountered -- an entitlement, players believed -- but by the moment Evan Longoria went yard against the Yankees on the final day of the regular season last year, there was no urgency to have one's picture taken with the trophy. 'We've been poisoned by these lies/the lawyers clean up the details/since Daddy had to lie,' and Terry Francona had to leave because of all he had to say for his players."

Get ready for the trashing of Francona and praising of Valentine:

" 'It's been an interesting Spring Training, because Bobby has been everywhere,' says Kevin Youkilis. 'His energy is unbelievable. He's always talking about some detail of the game. It's great. It's his team, no doubt.'

Asked about Valentine's ban on alcohol, Josh Beckett said, 'Whatever the manager thinks is right is fine. The only thing that matters is being focused on doing what we need to do to win. We want it; the fans deserve it. Fine.'

'"The clubhouse ain't no bar,' said David Ortiz. 'It's about baseball. That's what Bobby Valentine is all about.'

...

'This thing is no big deal,' said Dustin Pedroia. 'The only big deal is winning, and I think a lot of us are still angry about what happened last September and want to focus all our attention on getting back to winning.' Which is all Valentine talks about."



So it's not an article. It's a press release.

Put down your gun and listen to Bob Marley.

Consider the credibility of a man who likes "Dancing With The Stars" and doesn't like "Ali G."

Hidden deep with in Lupica's latest long-winded attempt to explain why he was wrong about baseball, and wrong about performance-enhancing drugs, and wrong about baseball players accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs, is this particular deal-breaker:
"Catch me up on something:

Who thinks Sacha Baron Cohen is funny?

Better question: Who ever thought this guy was funny?"

Look, sir, I know you were busy examining Theo Epstein's butt at the time, but this stuff is easy to find on youtube.


As for Lupica's authoritative take on the Braun situation:

"But if Laurenzi is a suspect, why wasn’t he identified as such in Braun’s hearing? If anyone believed the sample was really tampered with, why wasn’t the FBI called in? Maybe what we need, when this is all over, is to throw back the curtain, have Braun’s brief in his appeal, and Major League Baseball’s brief, made public, so we can make up our own minds about the facts as they were presented to the arbitrator, Shyam Das, who eventually made the ruling that overturned Braun’s suspension.

Maybe the biggest question of all for Braun is this: When did what was a chain-of-custody defense in private become a tampering defense in public?"

Was Braun's hearing made public? I'm not aware of this. If it was not made public, how does Lupica know if Laurenzi was identified or not? How does Lupica know if the FBI was called in or not?

False positives happen. Maybe this case was a false positive.


Lupica, you were wrong, and it's not the first time.

Your typical childish reaction is to write a lot of words in a column that doesn't provide equal time or proper feedback.

Lupica isn't seeking the truth or trying to save baseball. He's just Keeping Score on Everything and unwilling to admit he was wrong.

Braun exonerated, just like you thought.

Bonds not in jail, Clemens not in jail, Lupica still allowed to opine publicly.

Understand: Just because Lupica has a job, doesn't mean he's good at it. There's a difference:

"Understand something: The overturning of Braun’s 50-game suspension doesn’t mean Braun is clean, no matter what he says or how many times he says it or what he expects reasonable people to believe.

He wasn’t exonerated. He was acquitted. There’s a difference."

I do not know everything.

I know, with certainty, that Mike Lupica is the wrong person to ask about the US jurisprudence system, especially as it applies to US professional sports.

El hombre.

" 'Like I say, I haven't talked to them, but I prefer not to use (El Hombre),' Pujols said Wednesday.

It's an emotional issue for Pujols because he became acquainted with 90-year-old Musial in his 11 seasons playing in St. Louis. In 2010, Pujols asked St. Louis media and fans not to call him "El Hombre."

'I still have the same respect for him as I had, not just for what he's done in baseball but for what he did for his country,' Pujols said. 'That's something you have to appreciate.' "

Classy.

"Burnett the Pirate took some blame for his failures with the Yankees yesterday at Pirate City, but also said he may have let too many people in pinstripes mess with his mechanics.

'Without getting too far into it,' Burnett explained, 'I would just say I let a few too many people tinker with me and when you let that happen, you get out there, you start doubting yourself sometimes, like, "Am I doing it right? Is this the way it is supposed to feel?"

'In ’09 nobody messed with me,' Burnett said of the Yankees’ World Series championship season. 'I was able to do what I wanted to do on the mound, whether it was turn all the way around, close my eyes; pitch upside down, whatever it was. Then you have a few bad games and you start changing and listening.' "

Paying A.J. Burnett to pitch for another team.

"According to sources, the Pirates will pay about $14 million of the money left on Burnett’s contract. The Yankees have been paying Burnett throughout the year, rather than just during the six months of the baseball season, so they’ve already paid him $2.625 million in 2012, meaning there is $30.375 million remaining on Burnett’s deal.

Burnett signed the five-year, $82.5 million deal after a 2008 season in which he was terrific for the Blue Jays, including multiple dominant outings against the Yankees. He was so good that some Yankees lobbied GM Brian Cashman to sign him and Burnett paid off in ’09, going 13-9 with a 4.04 ERA in the regular season and 1-1 in the World Series victory over Philadelphia.

But Burnett, 35, struggled the last two seasons, rarely approaching his previous success. With a glut of pitchers for the rotation after signing Hiroki Kuroda and trading for Michael Pineda, the Yanks cleared space by dealing Burnett for hard-throwing reliever Diego Moreno and outfielder Exicardo Cayones. Now Phil Hughes and Freddy Garcia will vie for the No. 5 spot."

The numbers don't really add up and Cashman simply made a mistake by signing Burnett in the first place.

In my opinion, the Yankees simply got sick and tired of the psychological and emotional toll that Burnett took on the coaching staff and the team.

Burnett balks at trade.

Burnett also probably hit a batter and threw a wild pitch:

"The Yankees were hoping they could bring back Bobby Abreu to be their designated hitter by swapping A.J. Burnett to the Angels, but the righthander would not waive his no-trade rights, according to two baseball executives with knowledge of the talks.

So rather than having their winter business concluded and a DH in place, the Yankees Wednesday were still working on sending Burnett to the Pirates for two marginal prospects, one of the executives said. The executive said the trade could be consummated by the weekend — Burnett is slated to report to Yankees spring camp Sunday."

I don't want Burnett and I also don't want Abreu.

In certain circumstances, Teixeira should bunt. But he will not.

"Three years after signing Mark Teixeira, the Yankees have reason to be moderately disappointed with their $180 million first baseman.

There were no complaints following his first season in pinstripes, when his combined on-base and slugging percentages were third in the American League and the Yankees won the World Series.

But since then, his value has headed south. According to Fangraphs.com, his play in 2010-11 was worth $32 million to the Yankees, well short of the $44 million he was paid."

"Moderately disappointed" sound about right.


"Frustrated with the frequency with which balls off his bat have found the gloves of opposing fielders of late, Teixeira recently wondered if defensive shifts might be getting the best of him.

He even suggested that he 'might lay some bunts down this year' against the shift to increase his batting average."

I don't think he will, simply because it looks silly.

Not even Brett Gardner bunts too often.

Players hate it when they make out on a bunt. They feel like they gave away an at-bat without even trying.

Teixeira has Giambi Disease and tries to hit a HR every time up. HRs and RBIs = money. Bunt singles don't = money.

Mike Lupica doesn't like the Yankees?

Were you thinking about the Yankees when the Giants won the Super Bowl? Because I wasn't thinking about the Yankees when the Giants won the Super Bowl:

" ...the Giants can still feel like the biggest team we have, and that includes the Yankees. The Yankees are there in the playoffs every year, of course, and have won an epic number of World Series.

The Giants win better."

Ummm ...


"Now, second time in four years, they win better than any New York team ever has.

Say it again: You can put all the other great seasons up against them, Namath and Seaver and Willis Reed and whatever you think is the best Yankee victory of them all. Nothing beats what the Giants have done to the Patriots in these two Super Bowls."

What about Terry Collins and the 2011 Mets?

You forgot about Terry Collins and the 2011 Mets who almost played .500 because they were gritty.

Mound Started Throwing Off Half-Mound.

I'll say what everyone else is thinking.

"If Montero does bloom in Seattle, the M’s may have a former star to thank, in part, anyway. Montero noted the learned a lot from Alex Rodriguez last year. 'He was mad at me because I wasn’t going to the cage a lot and he said if you don’t, you’re going to be fined $100 a day,' Montero said. 'Then I was going a lot and I learned all the routines he taught me.' "


The routine goes like this: First, you get a mule to provide the steroids. Second, you find an injection place on the body that is hidden from view. Third, you cycle different drugs, so a helpful tip is to keep a calendar ...

Catching up with Choo Choo Coleman.

"Craig Anderson, who has a 19-game losing streak still working since 1964, and Bill Wakefield, who was a Mets closer in 1964, remember Coleman as an agile, willing catcher who had the disconcerting habit of glancing at his own fingers as he flashed the signals"

The Yankees have an elite starting rotation, according to this guy.

I hope the Yankees have an elite starting rotation.

However, I must say, I'm not too confident in the source:

"Even though last October provided its contradictions, 2011 was the second consecutive 'Year of the Pitcher' for Major League Baseball.

It gave fans the game’s first 'super rotation,' a group of arms compiled through trades and free agency with an expectation of dominance."

If I am understanding correctly, he is claiming that the 2010 Phillies were the first "super rotation" in baseball history.

"This offseason, other teams have followed Philadelphia’s pattern, or at least attempted to. That has led to a number of rotations with at least one legitimate ace (and sometimes more)."

Baseball teams have tried to acquire dominant pitching during the offseason?

That's like every team during every offseason since baseball began.

Good luck.

Pretty much:

" 'Around the game, Burnett has become the symbol for wasted money,' said an AL East scout who also believes the Yankees will have to eat at least $20 million. 'When you’ve got a guy who has managed to pitch below .500 (34-35) for a team with the Yankees offense, yeah, it’ll make you apprehensive. This is the question now being asked, even about guys like Oswalt and Jackson. How much do you pay for mediocrity?' "

I'm lovin' it.

"Former relief ace" signs a contract:

"The team also avoided arbitration with former relief ace Joba Chamberlain, agreeing to pay him $1.675 million."

That's 1.675 million dollar menu cheeseburgers.

"It is weird."

Can you believe Wright is about to play his ninth year? He's a good player, but it just seems he has not quite realized his transcendent expectations, and a lot of people still expect him to suddenly turn into an MVP-caliber player ... as if the first eight years of his career are not a large enough sample size:

" 'It is weird where it seems like yesterday we were winning the division by a crazy number of games and that I never heard myself in a trade rumor,' Wright said Friday before hosting his second-annual Vegas Night here to benefit the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters. 'And now, all of a sudden, it’s every day.' "

Wrong.

I thought the Yankees would keep Montero for sure, now that he is finally ready for the big leagues.

In fact, I blogged five weeks ago that "The Yankees will not trade Jesus Montero."

That is an odd thing to say.

"To ever be Chicago's Derek Jeter, it requires the smarts and savvy the Yankees superstar has exercised to avoid the type of messy predicament Castro faced Friday.

One day after Chairman Tom Ricketts took a $15 million stand for character by paying Zambrano to go away, representatives for the Cubs' biggest star defended him against a sexual-assault allegation. The denials were strong and swift."

Of course, I am unsure about the validity of sexual assault allegations.

I'm just saying, I'm not so sure if The Edge is the correct role model vis a vis the aforementioned allegations.

Trifecta.

"When you think of Joe Torre, you think of a guy who has already scripted perhaps the greatest second act in baseball history."

When I think of Joe Torre, I think of the power of anti-oxidants in Bigelow Green Tea.

"Now, it appears, he's looking for Act III."

Or, as we say in America, "Act 3."

"Should his group succeed in the purchase, the 71-year old Torre would have completed an incredible Baseball Trifecta, going player to manager to owner. That doesn't even get into other hats Torre has worn in baseball, including broadcaster and MLB executive."

Joe Torre was a broadcaster? I wonder if he ever brought up Bob Gibson.

You forgot author!

Pitchman!

"When he left the Yankees following the 2007 season it was due to what Torre perceived as a lack of respect from the late George Steinbrenner, who offered him an incentive-laden contract with base salary below what he had been earning. While it clearly did not sit well with Torre, he thanked Steinbrenner for his time in pinstripes and was quickly hired to manage the Dodgers."

Well, that's not quite right. Torre trashed Steinbrenner and many other Yankees in a book you seem to have conveniently forgot.

But that doesn't even matter.

Good for him. He'll be a fine owner, I'm sure, as long as he lets someone else manage the bullpen.

Happy New Year!

Let's start the new year off with Mike Lupica referring to Alex Rodriguez in the past tense.

Production vs. Efficiency.

Pretty good article which I think may have indirectly led me to change my mind regarding Edgar Martinez's HOF credentials, from nay to yea:

"What baffles me is the argument that Edgar Martinez isn't a Hall-of-Famer because he was a designated hitter. It's like not voting for Greg Maddux because he didn't rush for enough yardage. It's a total non sequitur -- it's an invented reason that makes no sense. A reprise of the facts from above:

The rules of baseball have, since 1973, required that every team in the American League fill a position known as 'the designated hitter'

Edgar Martinez was the best designated hitter in the history of the sport"

I think you obviously have to be more productive as a DH than as a gold glove shortstop.

I'm not sure how many people are disqualifying Martinez solely because of his position, but it's a clear handicap compared to players who made an impact in the field.


"There are 19 players who finished their careers with a batting average over .300, an on-base percentage over .400, and a slugging percentage over .500. Two of them played for the Rockies, pre-humidor. Two of them might never make the Hall of Fame because of scandal. Three of them will make the Hall of Fame unless they're caught up in a scandal. The rest are super-inner-circle-gold-star Hall-of-Famers. Jimmie Foxx. Mel Ott. Stan Musial. Those types."

Batting average and on-base percentage reflect a player's efficiency.

HOF entrants tend to amass stats over a long career.

I think that's the crux of the argument, rather than the pro-DH vs. anti-DH.


At first glance, I don't think Martinez's scoreboard stats are enough to put him in the HOF: .312, 309 HRs, 1,261 RBIs.

Runs scored: 1,219, which ranks him 160th all-time.

Willie Randolph had more runs scored.

160th on the list surrounds Martinez with good players, but not HOF types.


RBIs: 1,261, which ranks him 121st all-time. Some HOFers had fewer, lots of non-HOFers had more.

Harold Baines had 400 more RBIs.

Jeff Kent had 300 more RBIs and played the field.


But then I thought about it a little more. In terms of overall production, Martinez is a rare batter who gets a lot of walks and a lot or extra-base hits, who gets a lot of runs scored and a lot of RBIs.

Runs Created: 1,631, 58th all-time. (Problem is, I can't quite figure out the Bill Freakin' James definition of Runs Created.)

162-game averages: .312/.418/.515, 24 HRs, 41 doubles, 96 runs, 99 RBIs.


In any case, my observation is that Martinez probably belongs in the HOF, even though his production stats don't really make his induction a slam dunk.

Raise your hand if you're very fat.

The team, the time.

"But for those perhaps uncertain over whether to part with their millions, the owners have listed some less obvious perks that would come with a share of the Queens ball club.

¶ Access to Mr. Met, the team mascot, although the degree of access is not entirely spelled out. It definitely means you, as a part-owner, can schmooze with Mr. Met at Citi Field. It’s less clear whether you could get him to come to your child’s birthday party without a fee."

Mike Lupica doesn't like it when his predictions are proven incorrect.

"There is this idea that the government failed with the Barry Bonds case because Bonds in the end did no jail time."

Yes.


"And there is the idea that the government wasted money, because that is always such a big concern in the sports section."

There are lots of ideas.

With regards to Barry Bonds, lot of observers opined, yes, it was a waste of government resources from the start.

The general public opinion -- not a particularly important litmus test, necessarily, but certainly more valid than the vague "this idea" or "the idea" -- has starkly tilted towards this viewpoint.

Speaking for myself, I think the Constitutional violations are more worrisome than Barry Bonds's tainted HR records.


"But the reason that Bonds only took a fall on one felony — obstruction of justice — is because the guy who knew everything about what Bonds took and when he took it and how much of it he took refused — to the end — to testify."

Sure.

But you knew that when you were guaranteeing Bonds jail time.

It's hard to believe, but Mike Lupica likely knows less about U.S. jurisprudence than he does about U.S. baseball.


"Maybe you think that Bonds won something on Friday when he got probation and home confinement and 250 hours of community service.

But I don’t, whether the prosecution covered itself in glory or not."

Covered itself in glory?

Yuck.


"Put it another way, if you really think this was some kind of triumph for him:

Would you rather be him, or the great Henry Aaron, whose home run record Bonds broke?"

Avoiding jail time is, in fact, some kind of triumph.

He lost a long time ago in the Court of Public Opinion, but he was relatively victorious in the Court of Court.


As for who'd I'd rather be?

Sounds like a fun playground exercise for 6-year-olds.

Hmmmm ...

I'd rather be Bonds, because Bonds is younger than Aaron and, because of this, I think Bonds will live longer from this day forward and that's why I'd rather be Bonds instead of Aaron.

Balls.

Professional athletes make ridiculous amounts of money.

Albert Pujols for $24 million per year is clearly a bargain:

"Forget about what kind of shape Albert Pujols is going to be in at the back end of his ridiculous contract with the Angels.

I mean what kind of shape is he going to be in when he reaches A-Rod’s age?"

Good shape.


"Joe Buck, a St. Louis guy, is absolutely right."

There's a first time for everything.


"The real winners here are the Cardinals, who took their best shot at re-signing Pujols and then didn’t have to be the team giving Pujols a ridiculous 10-year contract.

You know who my early favorite is to win the NL Central in 2012?

The Cardinals, that’s who."

The Cardinals didn't win the NL Central last year ... or the year before that ...and, since the conclusion of last season, they have lost a HOF manager and the best player in baseball.


But, yeah, "early favorites to win the NL Central in 2012" sound like an indictment of the NL Central rather than an endorsement of the Cardinals.

Name five players from the 1962 Mets.

"Even if you weren’t alive in 1962, you know the story of the original Mets. They lost 120 games, which set a modern day record for futility that stands to this day. They were truly awful. Yet around here, they remain one of the most beloved teams of all time."

I am guessing there was some degree of excitement for fans of the displaced Giants and Dodgers.


"The original Mets were adored because they were a novelty, and because New York had lost its two National League franchises, the Dodgers and Giants, to California. It’s also safe to say they were adored by so many because they weren’t the Yankees."

So the novelty wore off long ago.


"And why do we bring this up today? Because it’s time for Mets fans to once again bask in the glow of their own inferiority. Seriously. This is the way it oughta be."

I'm going to guess that the fans of 1962 Mets weren't having nearly so much fun as this revisionist history suggests.

Casey Stengel and Choo Choo Coleman saying funny things to the press. You guys should be a stand up act.


"So that brings us into the present, and the opportunity for the Mets to basically start all over again. Cry if you want about losing Jose Reyes to the Miami Marlins. Scream at the top of your lungs about the Wilpon family and the team’s financial state. Lose sleep over what looks like a two-, three-, maybe four-year rebuilding project that has just gotten started.

Or bask in it."

Well, if you're a fan of a team, then you're a fan of a team. There are some benefits to uncrowded stadiums with empty upper decks. uncrowded parking lots, uncrowded beer lines, and uncrowded bathrooms. Satisfaction can be defined as the degree to which expectations are met and sometimes it can ultimately make one happier to have low expectations.

But the 1962 Mets were probably not particularly beloved then and definitely not particularly beloved now. It's revisionist history and myth-making.


The fundamentals of sports enjoyment don't change too much: Winning is good, losing is bad.

There's nothing more expensive than cheap labor.

"However, from a pure baseball standpoint, great as Pujols has been through the first 11 years of his career, there's no good reason to give a 10-year contract to a player who will turn 32 next month."

I can think of a few good reasons:

1) Pujols is now on your team.

2) Your team will win more baseball games.

3) Your team will bring in more revenue and increase its value.

4) You will acquire return on your investment.

The Yankees will not trade Jesus Montero.

He's a young, inexpensive player who they could have traded (with others) for Cliff Lee (I think).

Now that the investment is about to pay off, they're not going to trade him for Gio Gonzalez.

I suddenly feel hap hap happy today.

We'll take a case of gauze and twenty fungo bats.

Lupica's new favorite manager.

Ben Cherington will probably be Lupica's new favorite GM.

Though it's also possible Lupica will just follow Theo to Chicago.

Mushnick vs. Francesa

"What a shame that Ryan Braun, last week named the National League MVP, didn’t take a few seconds to give credit where credit is deserved.

Braun, after all, became a lock to win the award even before the season began, when our incomparable all-seeing and all-knowing evaluator of human athleticism and horse flesh, Mike Francesa, dismissed Braun as nothing special, not even among the majors’ top two-way outfielders.

Francesa even ridiculed and stepped on a caller who asked him how he could not include Braun on his list of the best outfielders in the majors."

Hilarious that Mushnick remembers this conversation and calls out Francesa.

More ridiculous that I remember this conversation on Francesa's radio show.

It's quite true that Francesa dismissed Braun's credentials. But the topic was whether or not MLB had any OF superstars. Where are the Willies, Mickeys, and Dukes?

So Francesa wasn't so much dismissing Braun vis a vis Braun's peers, he was dismissing Braun vis a vis other OF superstars in MLB history.

I'm hardly defending Francesa -- this is the sports radio host who doesn't know who Al Albuquerque is -- and Francesa probably has no idea how good Ryan Braun is. But Sherman is slightly misrepresenting the conversation.


"There is no one who speaks more authoritatively and more imperiously — and gets more colossally wrong — than Francesa. He can turn a three-TD road ’dog into a blowout winner simply by stating that the visitors shouldn’t even bother to get off the bus. Good thing he didn’t take the U.S. in the Cuban Missile Crisis."

Cuban Missile Crisis ???


Here's the thing: Every person who picks NFL games is wrong half the time and they always have a short memory.

For inexplicable reasons, they're paid for their opinions.

For even less explicable reasons, lots of people listen.

So, as long as this occurs, Mushnick will always have a lot of fodder for his Scorecard of Life.

2011 NL MVP.

Them		Us
Ryan Braun	388	Matt Kemp	24
Matt Kemp	332	Ryan Braun	21
Prince Fielder	229	Prince Fielder	10
Justin Upton	214	Justin Upton	10
Albert Pujols	166	Albert Pujols	4
Joey Votto	135	Lane Berkman	3
Lance Berkman	118	Joey Votto	2
Troy Tulowitzki	69
Roy Halladay	52
Ryan Howard	39
Jose Reyes	31
Clayton Kershaw	29
Shane Victorino	18
Ian Kennedy	16
Cliff Lee	12
Hunter Pence	10
Pablo Sandoval	7
John Axford	7
Michael Morse	5
Carlos Beltran	3
Miguel Montero	2
Yadier Molina	2
Starlin Castro	1
Craig Kimbrel	1
Carlos Ruiz	1
Mike Stanton	1

2011 AL MVP.

Them		Us
Justin Verlander	280	Curtis Granderson	25
Jacoby Ellsbury	242	Miguel Cabrera	18
Jose Bautista	231	Jose Bautista	14
Curtis Granderson	215	Justin Verlander	11
Miguel Cabrera	193	Robinson Cano	9
Robinson Cano	112	Jacoby Ellsbury	7
Adrian Gonzalez	105
Michael Young	96
Dustin Pedroia	48
Evan Longoria	27
Ian Kinsler	25
Alex Avila	13
Paul Konerko	11
CC Sabathia	10
Adrian Beltre	9
Ben Zobrist	7
Victor Martinez	7
James Shields	7
Mark Teixeira	5
Asdrubal Cabrera	4
Alex Gordon	3
Josh Hamilton	1
David Robertson	1

2011 NL Cy Young.

Baseball Writers' Association of America:

Name	Points
Clayton Kershaw	207
Roy Halladay	133
Cliff Lee	90
Ian Kennedy	76
Cole Hamels	17
Tim Lincecum	7
Yovani Gallardo	5
Matt Cain	3
John Axford	2
Craig Kimbrel	2
Madison Bumgarner	1
Ryan Vogelsong	1

Felz & His Friends:

Name	Points
Clayton Kershaw	30
Roy Halladay	23
Ian Kennedy	16
Cliff Lee	11
Yovani Gollardo	2
John Axford	1
Craig Kimbrel	1
David Robertson	1
C.J. Wilson	1

A day late.

"Injuries forced Alex Rodriguez to enter the postseason without enough time to regain his typical comfort level at the plate, prompting Yankees general manager Brian Cashman to wonder Tuesday if Eric Chavez could have been the better choice at third base.

'Chavy might have been a better option there at the end,' Cashman said"

Not a very brave position to take after the fact.

Chavez at third couldn't have hurt. But ARod probably would have been the DH. Posada and Montero played well as DH. So the Yankees would have been hurt by ARod's bat, anyway.

2011 AL Cy Young.

Baseball Writers' Association of America:

Name	Points
Justin Verlander	196
Jered Weaver	97
James Shields	66
CC Sabathia	63
Jose Valverde	28
C.J. Wilson	9
Dan Haren	7
Mariano Rivera	4
Josh Beckett	3
Ricky Romero	2
David Robertson	1

Felz & His Friends:

Name	Points
Justin Verlander	36
Jered Weaver	19
CC Sabathia	16
Josh Beckett	2
Felix Hernandez	2
Mariano Rivera	2
James Shields	2
David Robertson	1
C.J. Wilson	1

Jose Reyes no hay amigo.

Gold Glove award is silly

No Gold Glove for Gardner or Teixeira.

Goodness Gracious.

The customer is always right.

"One day. That’s all I ask. Please, for all that is good in this world, give me a 24-hour moratorium on the breathless talk about Major League Baseball’s television ratings and the doom they portend."

How meta of you.

It's like one of those infinite mirrors.

A man writes about a 24-hour moratorium on the talk about MLB's television ratings, thus ending said moratorium.


"In the middle of the most compelling World Series in a decade, one of the overriding themes is that nobody is watching.

And to those people, all I have to say is: Sorry, suckers. You’re missing something great."

I definitely don't believe this is he most compelling World Series in a decade, but that's not really the point. A sporting match is compelling if you have an emotional interest in the outcome.


"Earlier this week, in an interview with Bob Costas, commissioner Bud Selig said television ratings 'are always a concern.' To which I reply: Why? Why does anybody aside from Rupert Murdoch and his minions at Fox give a thousandth of a whoop about how many people watch the games?"

Well, Bud Selig should care, for obvious reasons.


"Why does baseball insist on comparing itself to the NFL?"

You've got a point there. NFL wins in America.


"Should MLB continue on its current path, where national TV viewership stagnates, hopefully the league will learn to embrace its strengths and not concern itself with indicators that don’t reflect the game’s true state. It has labor peace. It has great storylines. It has fantastic players. It has a wonderful product.

If people don’t want to watch, fine. Their loss."

I agree with some of the points, but I don't understand the contempt for the fans.

Of course Selig wants to have high ratings. Low ratings may be a portend of bad things to come. But it's not the people's fault for being disinterested.

If people don't want to watch, not fine.

If enough people don't want to watch, Jeff Passan will need to find a new job.

Jilted sportswriters are amusing.

Albert Pujols, the best player of baseball on planet Earth, makes an error:

"At the center of it was a cutoff throw on which Pujols whiffed. The ball slipped away, allowing what would be the winning run to advance into scoring position."

Yep. He made an error.


"Pujols mimicked the ball, showering, dressing and dashing before the clubhouse doors opened."

The baseball showered, dressed, and dashed out the clubhouse doors?


"Part of stardom – perhaps the hardest part – is accountability."

In Pujols's case, the hardest part is the uncanny ability to hit a baseball thrown toward him from 60 feet away, moving 90+ mph, with a wooden cylinder, 8 players with gloves in the field, etc., etc., etc.


"Pujols is not accountable to the media. This is not about that. Nor is it about his accountability to fans that may or may not want to know how he spit the bit in a crucial game. Pujols, more than anything, must be accountable to his teammates, those he ostensibly leads."

Meh.

He's the best player they'll ever see.

When he's ditching a press conference early, they should warm up his car.

Ode to a sac fly.

Though, to be fair, the Yankees would have sold their kingdom for a well-timed sac fly.

Not so much in game two.

"Maybe he's a long-lost relative of Anatoly Karpov. It's possible he grew up with Boris Spassky. Or maybe he just ran into Garry Kasparov at a chicken dinner someplace.

But once again Wednesday night, that noted grandmaster of the emerald chess board, Mr. Tony La Russa, checkmated his way through the World Chess Championships of October, at his Karpovian best.

'You know, I've never seen him play chess,' said La Russa's hitting coach, Mark McGwire, after the Cardinals had finished outfoxing the Rangers, 3-2, in Game 1 of the World Series. 'But I'll tell you what. He's running a hot hand right now.'

Wait. He's never seen the guy play chess? Isn't that exactly what the Cardinals' zoned-in manager has been playing for about three decades now -- for 5,097 games and counting?

Of course he has. But it's very possible that never, ever, has Tony La Russa maneuvered those chess pieces better than he has over the past three weeks.

Maybe there's been a hotter managerial hand in somebody else's dugout back in some other time, some other place, some other October. But let's just say none comes to mind."

I think Stark is being serious.

LaRussa is a good manager. He is not a genius.

Things That Will Not Happen.

Though the Yankees maybe could pay Ortiz $10,000/month to provide clean urine for ARod's drug tests.

Joe Posnanski writes what I was thinking.

A few days late with the link, but this is exactly what I was thinking ... except, of course, I hadn't conducted the historical research:

"Up to that point, Verlander had pitched six innings and allowed two runs. Even if you ignore No. 1 and No. 2 -- THAT was supposed to make me reconsider Verlander as an MVP? Six innings, two runs? Of course, by the time I actually saw the message, Verlander had given up two more runs -- a walk, a hit-by-pitch and a double by Brett Gardner scored those two runs. That made seven innings, four runs. Sure: Can you send me back my MVP ballot?

This was a disappointing start by Verlander -- I don't really see how you could see it any other way. Sure, he had dazzling moments. Sure, he struck out 11. Sure, he was fun to watch. He's always fun to watch. And anytime a pitcher in 2011 goes eight innings, you tip your cap. But when a pitcher gives up four runs in eight innings (which is what Verlander did), he usually loses. Since 2001, pitchers who go eight innings and give up four runs in the regular season are 44-86. You want the stat of the day? In the history of the postseason, before Verlander, pitchers who allowed four runs in eight innings were -- get ready for it -- 1-14.

And yet, it sure seemed like everybody kept on clinging to the 'what a stunning and amazing performance by Verlander' story line. It seemed like, based on what people on TV were saying and what some people on the Internet were writing, that Verlander had just thrown an 18-strikeout, one-hit shutout against the '27 Yankees.Tom Verducci interviewed Verlander like he was the clear-cut hero. More people messaged me to make their after-the-bell Verlander for MVP case. The announcers and analysts went on and on about the guts, the courage, the fortitude of Justin Brooks Verlander. It was plain weird."

The Giants are the current World Series Champions and they're not even in the playoffs.

"Lately the progression goes like this: Win World Series in 2009, lose ALCS in 2010, lose in first round in 2011. But George Steinbrenner as much as he wants to act and sound like a boss (lower-case 'b'), still called his team's season 'a bitter disappointment.'

Actually, it is quite normal, if you put it into current historical context."

Right!

Derek Jeter has lost in the first round more ofthen than he has won World Series.


The Yankees insult their fans when they label successful seasons a "disappointment."

A 97-win season, best record in AL, milestones for Jeter and Mariano (if you're into that kind of thing), the emergence of Ivan Nova and, to a lesser extent, Jesus Montero.

Granderson led the league in runs and RBIS.

Robertson brought back memories of '96 Mariano.

The 2011 Yankees have strong candidates for MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year, Manager of the Year, and Cashman even deserves consideration for GM of the Year considering how he reacted to the "loss" of Cliff Lee.


"The Yankees always win a ton of games during the regular season and make the playoffs every year out-spending the competition by a lot - every year - and then are more likely to lose in the first round than they are to make the World Series. It is the way they are built and will continue to be built because Hal Steinbrenner seems perfectly happy to watch the money roll in under the current management."

YES!!!!

Lupica finally GETS IT!!!!

The Steinbrenners make so much money, they can afford personal acting lessons from Javier Bardiem. That's how they are able to convincingly act sad when they go in front of the cameras and pretend the season is a disappointment.


By the way, using this all-or-nothing criteria, no major American sports entity is "successful."

• The Yankees have won only 27 Championships in 98 seasons.
• Jack Nicklaus lost more often than he won.
• Michael Jordan only won 6 rings in 15 years.
• Tom Brady has lost in the playoffs more often than he has won the Super Bowl.

"Somehow that management still talks as if it is 1996-2000 and Joe Torre is still the manager and the Yankees of that time - still working off a blueprint created by Gene Michael - always seemed to find a way to win the game they lost Thursday night to the Tigers.

Only this team is not that team despite the way they always invoke the spirit of the dead Boss. This operation is not the old one that actually built a Yankee dynasty."

Bleh.

For one thing, the Torre Yankees always seemed to find a way to win close games, except when they lost close games. Like when they lost in 1997, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006.

The Yankees' dynasties were actually built by outspending their opponents.

Ruth and Berra didn't have to deal with three rounds of the playoffs.

"If it was the old operation, maybe there would be more accountability for the 'failure' to reach a goal that they make sound like an inherited right:

The winning of the World Series. And that means winning more than one in 11 years.

But the most dramatic thing the Yankees do, other than sign more free-agent stars, is change pitching coaches once in a while. They make the playoffs with amazing consistency, year after year. Make boatloads of money. Then they make the Series about as often as a lot of other people in baseball, even as they talk about how special they are."

Now Lupica is getting funny.

Is he baiting the Yankees to make dramatic roster changes?

What sort of dramatic changes does he envision for a 97-win team?

The "old" operation ... and I'm going back to 1980 ... may have indeed over-reacted to a tough ALDS loss. That's really the only way to ruin the team.

The best reaction is to sound like you're panicky and angry ... probably an attempt to empathize with the fans ... and calmly make roster decisions.


"They are a playoff-making dynasty. Just not a Yankee dynasty. It means they are the modern version of the Atlanta Braves of the 90s. Only those Braves made the Series a lot more than the Yankees have over this past decade."

Lupica meant that as an insult.

"The Mets of the 90s." That would be an insult.

The Braves of the 90s were one of the best teams ever.


By the way, the Braves of the 90s were the modern version of the Braves of the 90s. Because the 90s were, like, only twenty years ago. Which is still modern. Many of the Braves of the 90s are still alive. Some of the Braves of the 90s are still playing baseball. One of the Braves of the 90s is still playing for the Braves.


"The guy continued, 'You know what they need? They need more guys like Brett Gardner. More tough guys like that. But they keep getting away from the essence of who they were once. They can't wait to get rid of old guys like Posada and Jeter. But when they're all gone, and Rivera is gone, they'll be further away from their essence, the thing that made them great in the late 90s, than ever.' "

Right.

Brett Gardner and David Eckstein and Don Mattingly and David Dellucci and Wil Nieves.


No one knows what the Yankees "need." Brett Gardner might hit .000 in the playoffs next season and Teixeira might hit 12 HRs in his next 5 playoff games. In the regular season, you can only win the regular season. You try not to get picked off in the playoffs.


Let's play a mind game to support my point. Let's replace the "albatrosses" ARod, Sabathia, and Teixeira with Longoria, Shields, and Kotchman. You save a lot of money and you might be grittier, I suppose.

Does that less expensive Yankee team win the World Series? You can guarantee that this team beats the Tigers in the first round?


In fact, you can pick any 25 players you want in all of baseball. Pujols, Halladay, Lee, Valverde, Lincecum, Verlander, Beltre, Brett Gardner ... and this team isn't guaranteed to win the World Series. This team isn't guaranteed to win a weekend series vs. the Astros.


Ryan Howard just hit .100 in a playoff series. Joe Dimaggio hit .271 in the playoffs. Ted Williams hit .200 in the playoffs. Willie Mays hit .247 with 1 HR in the playoffs.

Go ahead and pick Brett Gardner (.246 playoff BA and 0-for-10 in the World Series, by the way, so an unusual choice) over all of these players. I'll cross my fingers that the superstar opposing pitcher will make an occasional mistake ... my HOF batter will hopefully connect and hit the ball very far.


"The season wasn't a bitter disappointment at all. It was perfectly normal for the Yankees. Somebody should have given Levine a cigar when it was over."

Yup, they should have given him a cigar. The "boss" (with a lower-case "b"). Celebrate the so-called lost decade where you made $1 Billion (with an upper-case "B").

The Yankees and Red Sox were good teams in 2011 and will continue to be good teams.

An annual off-season ritual is to gaze into the Yankees' dystopian future:

"On the surface anyway, the Red Sox's historic September collapse and the quick extermination from the playoffs by Jim Leyland's Detroit Tigers could lead one to think there may be hope after all for the other three, less-affluent clubs in the American League East, particularly this year's feel-good story, the Tampa Bay Rays."

One might think that if one is foolish.


Break down this reasoning: A well-timed Russell Martin sac fly and the Yankees advance to the ALCS ... and, because of this, the Blue Jays lose all hope?


The Red Sox underachieved to 90 wins. They were in the playoffs until the last play of the season.

The Yankees somehow cake-walked to 97 wins.

Despite the AL East's so-called "early exits" from the playoffs, the AL East is the best division in baseball.


"In the Yankees' case, we're talking about a veteran team that got by all season with a patchwork starting rotation that will now require an infusion of even more millions, between the necessity of adding another No. 2 or No. 3 starter and the re-negotiation with CC Sabathia when he opts out of the four years and $92 million remaining on his deal."

A lot of veterans.

Also, a lot of young players: Robertson, Joba, Hughes, Nova, Gardner, Cervelli, Montero, Romine ...


"In the meantime, the Yankees are strangled by the $143 million remaining on Alex Rodriguez's insane contract, which runs through 2017."

If the Yankees are strangled by ARod's contract, then how can they afford to re-negotiate with Sabathia AND also afford a No. 2 or No. 3 starter?


"Right there, that's about $65 million per year in payroll the Yankees will have committed to three players for the next five to six years – three players who only figure to regress and, thus, will be virtually untradeable."

Trade?

Madden thinks the Yankees are going to trade ARod, Sabathia, or Teixeira?

So even if the Yankees signed Pujols for first base, they couldn't even use Teixeira as an overpaid pinch hitter?


"But the Red Sox are in just as bad shape in regard to bad contracts, which figure to severely cramp them in the coming years."

The bad contracts figure to do nothing of the sort.

To extend the metaphor, think of the big payroll as Midol for the severe cramping caused by bad contracts.


"Granted, the Yankees and Red Sox, more than any of the other 28 teams, with their seemingly unlimited stadium and marketing resources, have the ability to eat their losses on bad contracts and move on."

Granted.

So your argument is kaput.


"But there's a reason neither of them are playing more baseball this year, namely that their highest-paid players didn't live up to the money they're getting paid."

Of course this is true.

Player X is highly-paid and underperformed and this causes anger.

The problem with the proposed fixes, though, is that they incorrectly presume that an inexpensive replacement would play better.


"The Rays have the best young starting pitching in baseball, one of the best managers in baseball in Joe Maddon and, in Andrew Friedman, one of the best GMs in baseball - and most everyone agrees the Rays are a couple of quality, productive bats away from being the best team in baseball."

The Rays have one good, young starting pitcher and his name is Jeremy Hellickson.

Which is not to say James Shields isn't good, but he's not young.

Which is not to say David Price isn't young, but he's not good.


The Phillies' #5 starter was 11-3.

The Rays are a good team. I think the Rays have been disrespected and under-appreciated for four years. But they're not one or two bats away from being the best team in baseball.


" 'It won't be my decision, or solely my decision, but eventually Major League Baseball is going to vaporize this team,' Sternberg said. 'It could go on nine, 10, 12 more years, but between now and then it's going to vaporize this team. Maybe a check gets written locally, maybe someone writes me a check (to buy the team). If I had $80 million to put out there, we'd be moving along in life. We just don't have $12 million to put into a hitter.' "

I'm calling shenanigans on this whole line of thinking.

I know a high payroll is beneficial. It's why the Yankees and Red Sox will succeed in 2012.

But when Madden mentioned "diminishing returns," he should also understand how that applies to baseball payrolls.

Tampa is reaping the benefits of lots of last-place finishes. They got lots of high draft picks, which allows them to (briefly) stuff the roster with young players, who are productive at pre-free-agency prices.

But the Rays GM would be surprised at how little extra production he'd get for $80 million. The benefit isn't linear. Put it this way: If the Rays doubled their payroll, I guarantee they wouldn't win 182 games next year.

Mark Teixeira finally emerges from the shadows and rightfully claims his goat horns.

"Alex Rodriguez may have made the final out in both last year's ALCS and this year's AL division series - and taken most of the heat from the fans - but Mark Teixeira's invisible bat has been equally responsible for the Yankees' postseason failures over the past two years."

Equal?

ARod is batting .255 in the playoffs since joining the Yankees and .277 overall in the playoffs.

Teixeira's comparable numbers are .170 and .207.

Some analysts don't like statistics. Some analysts REALLY don't like statistics.

"Again, not that A-Rod can’t or won’t be a productive player in the future; it’s just that his days as A-ROD, THE ALL-TIME GREAT (you know, 50 homers, 140 RBIs, .325) are over."

.325, 50 homers, 140 RBIs? In one season? ARod has never done that.

He batter over .325 one time and that was in 1996. (This was arguably his best year, but it depends how you look at it. I'll take .358, 54 doubles, 36 HRs. I think he simply changed his style and focused on HRs. But, wow: .358, 54 doubles, 36 HRs.)

140 RBIS? Twice in his career. Yankee fans were treated to one of these seasons, in 2007: .314/54/156.


"Plus, there was that interesting play in the bottom of the fourth when, with A-Rod on second and one out, Jorge Posada (boy, is he going out with a bang) lined a hard single to center. A-Rod, rounding third, was held up by third-base coach Robbie Thomson. The Yankees wound up not scoring in the inning."

Right.

ARod is hurt. He basically can't run, field, or hit.

I really don't think a 36-year-old world-class athlete is finished physically. This is actually the first season in his MLB career that ARod wasn't productive and this lack of production was mostly due to injury.

"After the game, A-Rod took the questions and, essentially, stated that he has to get his health back.

But, make no mistake, the A-Rod you are watching today is not the A-Rod of yesterday. Whatever the reason, whether it be no steroids or too many injuries or age or whatever, is irrelevant. "

Well, the reason is very relevant.

If it be "no steroids," then he's not getting it back. If it be age, then he's not going to get younger. If it be injuries, then he will likely get healthy and drive in 120 next year.

It's the difference between being drunk or ugly. Tomorrow, the drunk will be sober.


"The reality is that the new 10-year contract he signed after opting out (which, by the way, was opposed by GM Brian Cashman) will be an albatross around the neck of the New York Yankees for years to come."

Most observers seem to misundrestand the concept of an albatross. It's not merely a foolish decision, it's not merely a large expenditure, it's not merely a large expenditure with insufficient returns.

ARod's contract may be all these things -- though I'm not sure if the Yankee gravy train would be rolling quite so furiously the past four years -- or if they'd have won the WS in 2009 -- if they'd saved $20 mill per year and played Mike Lowell at 3b every day.

(Adrian Beltre at half the price would have been a wise choice in retrospect, but, you know, that's just not how it works. Also, it's unclear whether a productive player sans star power could fill the back pages and the $1,000 seats at a plushy new stadium.)

ARod's contract would be too expensive baseball-wise even if he was putting up .325/50/140 every year.

This is not unique. Every long-term contract will eventually overpay for an old player.

But even that's not an albatross.

An albatross is specifically concerned with missed opportunity costs.

An albatross is a liability that is holding you back.

Jayson Werth's contract may be an albatross. Jason Bay's contract may be an albatross. If you're the Royals, Billy Butler's contract may be an albatross.

If you're the Yankees? No albatross.

The Yankees have been so burdened by ARod's contract, they subsequently lavished long-term contracts to Teixeira, Sabathia, Granderson, Rivera, Jeter ... and tried give another $100 million to Cliff Lee.

The idea that ARod's contract is holding back the Yankees is like saying Soros needs to cancel his Netflix subscription on account of the rate hike.

Insight into the ALDS.

I'll bet you didn't know why the Yankees lost in the ALDS. According to Ken Rosenthal, the Yankees lost because their pitching didn't hold up. The reason you thought differently is because Ken Rosenthal is wrong:

"Just play it out.

The Yankees’ likely Game 1 starter would have been right-hander Freddy Garcia, who shut out the Rangers for six innings on April 16, but no longer is anyone’s idea of an ace.

Left-hander CC Sabathia probably could have started Game 2 after throwing 37 pitches in 1 1/3 innings in his first career relief appearance on Thursday night. But Sabathia looked gassed in the postseason and at times down the stretch. The Yankees might have pushed him back to Game 3 in favor of — gulp — righty A.J. Burnett.

And Game 4? Righty Ivan Nova, who left the Division Series clincher with tightness in his right forearm, probably would have been done for the postseason, creating an opening for righty Phil Hughes.

The Rangers would have trashed such a collection. They won’t trash Verlander and fellow right-handers Doug Fister and Max Scherzer."

Maybe the Rangers would have pummeled the Yankees. Maybe the Rangers won't pummel the Tigers.

I know, for a fact, that the Yankees' pitching was mostly excellent in the ALDS vs. the Tigers.

A.J Burnett (gulp!) pitched pretty good. So did Freddy Garcia, even if he's no longer anybody's idea of an ace. So did Nova ... unsure if his injury is minor ... so it's unclear if he'd have been available for the imaginary ALCS vs. the Rangers that Ken Rosenthal is handicapping in his head.

"But really, what is Sabathia now?

He wasn’t the same pitcher after Girardi twice brought him back from rain delays in Seattle on July 26. In his first 24 starts, he had a 2.55 ERA and allowed seven homers in 176 2/3 innings. In his last nine starts, he had a 4.30 ERA and allowed 10 homers in 60 2/3 innings. He also turned in a rocky performance in his one true Division Series start (not the abbreviated one), allowing 13 baserunners and four runs in 5 1/3 innings."

Sabathia is one of the best pitchers in baseball.


"Don’t get me wrong — Sabathia still is a top-of-the-rotation starter, and if he gets his weight back under control, he almost certainly will be one again."

Sabathia is a top-of-the rotation starter.

If he gets his weight back under control, he will be one again.


Sabathia, is X.
If Sabathia does Y, he will be X again.


"They already are stuck with one albatross of a contract, the six years and $143 million remaining on third baseman Alex Rodriguez’s deal. First baseman Mark Teixeira, owed $112.5 million over the next five years, is showing early signs of offensive decline."

I don't know what any of this has to do with the Yankees' pitching in the ALDS, which performed quite well in the ALDS


No Yankee contract is an albatross. The Yankees make tons of money. They could release ARod if they wanted to, absorb the payroll hit, replace him with Nunez, and still win 90 games.

They missed the ALCS by one whole run.

That failure is clearly on the offense not the pitching.


The Yankees are actually stacked with young talent -- Robertson, Hughes, Nova, Joba, Gardner, Montero, Nunez.

I don't know how they will fill the roster in the future. I am too concerned, frankly, with next week's imaginary ALCS vs. Texas.

A batter who hit .191 with 3 HRs in 68 at-bats since the All Star break.

This observation is not intended to excuse ARod's performance. I'm just acknowledging the reality of the rehabbing player who batted fourth for the Yankees in the playoffs.

ARod as a Concept is a cleanup hitter.

ARod as an Actual Player in October, 2011 is not a cleanup hitter, and probably not even a starting player.

The unwillingness to acknowledge this reality possibly cost the Yankees the first round of the playoffs.

"At 'em" ball. Short for "at them" ball, in which "them" refers to the fielders on a baseball field.

"Smoltz, sensing impending doom, speculated how "talk radio" in New York would be buzzing Wednesday. As Don Kelly stepped in, Smoltz offered Burnett an escape from the mess he was in.

'Here's what he (Burnett) needs. He's tipped his hand. You don't want to tip your hand. You need an atom ball,' Smoltz said. 'And what that atom ball is you don't know where it goes - line drive, robbing a home run - you've got to get an out. You just need to get the ball over the plate and say, 'OK, I've forgotten it. The jitters are gone.'

Almost on cue, Burnett got that 'atom ball.' He grooved a pitch. Kelly lined a wicked shot to center that Curtis Granderson, after taking a step in, retreated in time to make a leaping catch to end the inning.

After that, Burnett settled in, giving up just one run, until Joe Girardi came to get him in the sixth.

Credit Smoltz with some simple but brilliant analysis.

It also marked the first time someone issued an atomic theory from a baseball broadcast booth."

Let's talk about Terry Francona some more.

Yankees are in playoffs. Yawn. Let's talk about the Red Sox instead.

Oh, we can briefly mention the Yankees:

"The Yankees seemed pretty happy to see the Rays make the playoffs this week, and we'll see how that works out if both teams make it to the American League Championship Series, right?"

Weak.

You'd say the same thing about the Red Sox Danger if the Yankees had beaten the Rays, thereby allowing the Red Sox into the playoffs.

You can say the same thing about Verlander and the Tigers, Hamilton and the Rangers, Weaver and the Angels.

The Yankees are better than the Rays.

The Yankees are the best team in the AL.

That doesn't mean the Yankees can cake walk into the World Series.


"It really will be interesting to see how it goes for Alex Rodriguez this October, since there seems to be this notion that because he had such a big October a couple of years ago, he is now in the clear forever."

Well, after two multi-page defenses of Terry Francona in which you chastised the "what have you done for me lately?" mentality, I'd be curious why the same standards are not applied to an injured all-star third baseman.

ARod's postseason OPS is .925 (not including this year's 0-for-5). He has nothing to prove.


Having said that, there are two Yankees I don't trust this postseason. One is ARod and the other is Soriano.

ARod is hurt and not ready to play.

ARod was the only Yankee starter without a hit in Game One. Which doesn't necessarily mean he won't hit two HRs tonight, but he has a mere 3 HRs and a mere 73 at-bats since the all star break.

I don't care about ARod's legacy at this point, I just think the team would be better with Chavez at 3b. ARod should be DHing at most.