Don't you CBS guys have some memos to fact-check?

Surprise, surprise, Mike Lupica doesn't seem to like Randy Johnson ... (call me crazy, but I'll bet Lupica is going to be swept away by the charming Carlos Beltran this afternoon; Carlos Beltran es alto y flaco, Sancho Panza es bajo y gordo) .

This Johnson guy better not front Mike Lupica when it comes to New York City. Mike Lupica belongs to the City. Mike Lupica is New York City.

Mike Lupica clubs 'til 5 am in Tribeca and hobnobs with the celebs at Lincoln Center. Mike Lupica personally picked out the tree at Rockefeller Center. Mike Lupica has a sandwich named after him at Katz's deli. Mike Lupica was covering the Yankees when Paul O'Neill played here. Mike Lupica knows the words to every Billy Joel song. Mike Lupica was the inspiration for Cosmo Kramer. These Johnny-Come-Lately hicks best learn the rules of New York City or Mike Lupica will see to it that they sleep with the fishes. Or worse. He'll write a column and sneer at you.

In this article, Lupica does have a rare moment of lucidity:

"But guess what? Nobody cares how Johnson acts as longs as he pitches for the Yankees the way Curt Schilling, his old running mate, pitched for the Red Sox last season. You saw how it went with Gary Sheffield last season. As soon as he put on pinstripes and start banging the ball all over the place, Yankee fans and Yankee broadcasters made him more heroic than Sgt. York."

Of course! The only thing that matters is what happens on the field. Not press conferences, not ESPN interviews, not commercials for deodorant, not making nicey nice with reporters, not even making nicey nice with family and friends.

But since nobody cares how Johnson acts, why the heck are you writing about it in the first place? Why are so-called reporters following a man walking down the street? I know why, it's for the gossip pages, not the sports pages, though the two functions have obviously been crossed. There may be some legit Yankee fans who actually want to "know about" Randy Johnson, just don't include me among them. It would not bother me if the Yankees never spoke to the press again, just win on the field. Then the entire sportswriting profession would cease to exist and I wouldn't have a blog anymore and that would be ... ummm ... bad?