Psyche!
Instead, Mike Lupica praises the presumed pending arrival of Billy Wagner. Since Wagner is lefthanded, it's totally relevant to bring up every lefthanded reliever ever:
"Once it was McGraw at Shea and then it was Jesse Orosco, even in the days when he was on a team with Roger McDowell, then Johnny Franco. None of them could throw fastballs the way Billy Wagner can. The Braves don't have anybody like Wagner, haven't had anybody like him since John Rocker was, well, still on his rocker."
Ha ha ha! When Rocker was still on his rocker!
"If the Mets get Wagner away from the Phillies, the Phillies probably have to go after B.J. Ryan to replace him."
If the Phillies lose their lefthanded closer, then they'll have to replace him with another lefthanded closer. Everybody wants a lefthanded closer. Everybody needs a lefthanded closer. Everybody loves lefthanded closers.
Lefthanded closers, lefthanded closers, lefthanded closers.
Lefthanded closers won every World Series game in the past twenty years.
Lefthanded closers are way cooler than righthanded closers.
2 comments:
Just imagine how good first-ballot Hall of Famer Mariano Rivera would be if her were a lefty!
Scuba
But don't you know that Mariano is old?
How's that? Billy Wagner is also old?
But don't you know that Mariano is a righty and lefties are better than righties? Buck Showalter even said so yesterday afternoon.
See, the Braves have a lot of power-hitting lefties like Andruw Jones and Billy Wagner will strike them out and the Mets will win the division. Like all the teams with Billy Wagner keep winning the division, especially NL East teams with Billy Wagner.
Duh!
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