Friday, June 23, 2006

Ron Darling, Esq.

Question: "Mr. Ron Darling, baseball wise, this question has been bugging me, and I think you would be the one to answer it. What kind of a pitch is a 'slurve'? This pitch keeps popping up in my baseball video game, and I'm not quite sure what it is."

Answer: "Hey Bernie you ask a very important question."

I was just in the middle of figuring out that whole cold fusion thing which would provide a limitless energy source and thereby transform the global geo-political landscape and reverse global warming. It's important enough. But your question about the slurve pitch in your video game is very important.


Question: "Ron, what is the best nickname for Lastings Milladge? I came up with: Blastings Milladge and Lastins Thrilladge -- any thoughts?-Dave Gordon, North Arlington, NJ"

It's Milledge, not "Milladge," you dork.

You spent all this time coming up with nicknames for your favorite player (really hilarious nicknames, by the way), and you don't even know how to spell the freakin' name.

Answer: "I am very hesitant about giving nicknames to rookies, especially in this town. You cannot call him the Thrill because that has had its place ... Will Clark of the SF Giants. There is only one LT in this town. How about having fun with his last name and call him the Badge -- when he's in a ballgame order is restored. Kind of weak on my part Dave, but I have full confidence that you will be enlightened with the proper nickname for LM."

Ron Darling, did you seriously just call him "the Badge" because it rhymes with "Milladge"?

You're right about one thing. That is kind of weak on your part.

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