Slow News Day with Michael Kay.

"Hi Mike,
My wife and I are Yankee fans and, like most Yankee fans, watch the games on YES. A couple of weeks ago we observed something and saw the same thing during last Monday night's game against Atlanta. A couple of weeks ago, after a Jason Giambi home run, my wife observed "How come A-Rod isn't congratulating Giambi like the rest of the guys?" A-Rod was behind the plate taking practice swings during the high-fives. I thought nothing of it, thinking that A-Rod was just preparing for his at-bat. On Monday night, we both observed the same thing, on both of Giambi's home runs! Jason Giambi seems like a good guy and most of the guys on the team seem like they like him. Is there a little friction with A-Rod there?

Ralph C.— Poughkeepsie, N.Y."

Sheesh, Ralph C., that's what you get for watching the games with your wife.

"Why didn't ARod hug Giambi when he hit a homerun? Don't they like each other? Not 'like' like, but just 'like.' Oh, you know what I mean. Does this dress make me look fat?'"

At least Michael Kay may be able to provide some insider insight:

"Hi Ralph,
I actually think A-Rod and Giambi like each other and get along very well. I assume A-Rod is simply locked in to his upcoming at-bat, but I will ask him what the deal is and relay the information on one of the upcoming games."

Hi Michael,
Why don't you first ask Alex Rodriguez and then print the answer in this column? Thanks for nothing.

"Hello Michael,
I watch every game and even score them in my own crazy way. I love those boys to the point that when they lose it actually hurts. Anyway enough about my nonsense, here is my question: Skippy, how old is he? Does he play ball? And if so, does he have the desire to be a MLB player in the future?
Danielle Dawson — Santa Cruz, Calif."

Wow. A chick who watches the games is in love with the ballboy.

At least Michael Kay can provide insider access to the ballboy, since ARod and Giambi were seemingly unavailable:

"Hello Danielle,
I think Skippy is in college, and I am not sure if he plays ball in school. I will make it a point to ask him and pass it along on one of the broadcasts."

Hello Michael,
Let me explain how Q&A works. First, the question is posed. Then, the research is conducted. Then, the question is answered.

That's all.

You either the question or you do not. You don't say, "I will answer the question in the future."


Paraphrasing another question, "Will the Yankees trade their prospects?"

Kay answers: "I can't see them trading away the Canós, the Wangs or the Hughes to bring in a veteran that might help them this year."

For one thing, stop treating people as objects. Try this clean alternative: "I can't see them trading away Cano, Wang, or Hughes."

Secondly, why is Cano a plural, Wang a plural, and then Hughes a singular? "The Hughes."

"I am The Hughes. I am The Singularity. You Must Not Trade The Hughes."

Grammar aside, I actually agree with Michael Kay. Because you can never have too many Canos, Wangs, or Hugheseses.