Lisa, will you marry me?

And I always thought the Subway Squawkers at the Daily News were useless ...

"In the first day of spring training, Torre finally explained to reporters why he batted Alex Rodriguez eighth in Game 4 of the ALDS:

Torre insisted it wasn't a slap at A-Rod, but the result of moving Melky Cabrera up in the batting order because, 'I was just trying to get some energy up at the top.'

I don't know what's more annoying about that statement:

The fact that he had four months to come up with an explanation for this decision, and this is apparently the best he could come up with,

The fact that nobody else seemed to check the game's box score to see where Cabrera actually batted in the lineup. Melky batted NINTH in that game, so the suggestion that A-Rod needed to bat eighth so Cabrera could be at the top of the order is, at best, sheer nonsense.

For $7.5 million a year, I expect the manager to come up with a better explanation or whatever you want to call it for batting A-Rod eighth."