No matador in the world can deflect all this bull ...

"Like the matador deftly avoiding a raging bull, Joe Torre has spent 11 long years navigating around George Steinbrenner's mood swings."

Here's your raging bull for ya: Reporters chasing around a confused old man.


"But Year 12 has presented Torre with the greatest challenge of his Yankee-era career – coping with a Boss who seems more determined to fire Torre than at any time since 1996."

Well, in 1996, Torre's first season as manager of the Yankees, the Yankees won the World Series.

Shortly thereafter, the Yankees won three consecutive World Series titles.

For the first five years, the crazed bull wasn't even charging the deft matador.

However, in the six years since, Torre has won zero World Series titles despite making the playoffs every year.

That losing streak is not necessarily a fireable offense, but it's quite clear to the most casual observer that Torre has been strategically outmanaged and has now even lost his ability to motivate his team.


"Crazy, isn't it?"

Yes, it's crazy that Joe Torre still has his job.


"The most successful Yankee manager of the last half-century is somehow on a one-summer audition."

You said the same thing last year and the year before and the year before and the year before.

If only I could believe you.


"The win-or-else philosophy is suddenly more than just Torre's job description; this time it's a real threat. He's going into the season without job security, which means the Yankees will need a world championship to keep Torre from being dismissed."

Cool.

In that case, maybe Torre won't blow off the first round of the playoffs. Maybe he won't drop Alex Rodriguez to 8th in the batting order. Maybe he won't play Gary Sheffield at first base. Maybe he won't bench Melky Cabrera and then play Melky Cabrera and then drop Alex Rodriguez to 8th in the batting order because Melky Cabrera would bring "energy" to the top of the lineup but that makes no sense because are you saying the Yankees didn't need energy in the first three games of the playoffs?

You want to talk about energy?

Maybe, in game three of the playoffs, when your team's back is against the wall, and your third baseman tags out a baserunner, and the umpire calls the baserunner safe, maybe the manager of the team can put down the bottle of Poland Spring and go kick the umpire in the family jewels.

Maybe instead of being "classy" and getting god damned standing ovations at god damned Fenway Park, maybe you go tell that umpire that the next time he disrespects the Yankees and the game of baseball like that, he ought to go home and drink some rat poison.

Oh, and the next time Paul Lo Duca thinks he can come into Yankee Stadium and talk smack to Alex Rodriguez, he wakes up with a horse head in his bed.

The loss to the Tigers was just small sample size. Torre's aloofness is really calmness. Torre's so noncommittal to the dream job of managing the Yankees, that he is basically daring Steinbrenner to fire him.

I can't read this article anymore.

I'm going to read this instead.