The letter I almost wrote to Michael Kay.

Then I decided the last thing I needed was a conversation with Michael Kay.

Or an FBI trail of my emails to Michael Kay.

Besides, I've got a blog!:

"Hi Michael Kay,

Why did you stop describing uniforms? That was cool. You should start doing that again.

This is more of a correction than a question.

Earlier this week, you were defending Willie Randolph's 'winning pedigree' by pointing out his collection of six Championship rings.

Was Randolph third base coach for the Torre-era rings? I don't actually remember. Maybe bench coach. Maybe first base coach. Basically, not playing and not making any important decisions. Meh.

As a player, Randolph hit .222 in the playoffs, .181 in the World Series, and even worse in 1977.

Randolph didn't even play in the 1978 playoffs -- I'm sure you remember Brian Doyle filling in. Brian Doyle hit over .400 and is so famous as a result, Mets broadcaster Ron Darling recently referred to him as Denny Doyle. Which is pretty close. Darling got one name right and, for Darling to remember one of your names, you must have done something quite astonishing.

Yesterday, Keith Hernandez forgot the name of the closer on the Phillies. That was funny. You'd probably never forget the name of the closer on the Phillies.

Regards,
Felz"

Tom Glavine probably gave a dignified postgame interview.

"This time, it was a photograph of the fifth-inning brawl from yesterday. At the top of the page, this quote from Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez, who left yesterday’s game with a sore hand, was typed out: 'I don’t care if it’s broke. I’m gonna play tomorrow.' The quote then continued with two sentences, accompanied by expletives, saying how the Marlins would be [sic] the Mets. At the bottom of the page, it was written, 'It’s Never a Good Idea to Wake the Sleeping Mets' and 'Someone Pays Today.'"

Randolph is the Manager of the Year.

"In the context of the article":

"The source of Wagner's anger was a quotation that, in the context of the article, made him sound as if he didn't believe Randolph or Peterson were any help to his success.

'We've been throwing four innings a night -- for months!' Wagner told the magazine. 'Our pitching coach has no experience talking to a bullpen. He can help you mechanically, but he can't tell you emotions. He has no idea what it feels like. And neither does Willie. They're not a lot of help, put it that way.'"

Where exactly were you getting ice?

Lo Duca's tough guy act suddenly makes sense. He's overcompensating:

"I was in the training room getting ice and was trying to zip up my pants as quick as I could to get out there."

The Mets have dug their own beds.

That's exactly what a flustered Gary Cohen said during the introduction to today's game.

This quote was easy to find.

All I had to do was check the game log and find one of the times the Phillies swept the Mets this season.

This gem from August 31:

"We'll get our chance to come back and take care of these guys," Lo Duca said. "They're dancing around the field now, but we'll see what happens when the time comes."

The glue and also the man.

I don't even know why I'm doing this, but I stumbled across a random Wright-for-MVP argument:

"Overall dominance. 30 105 .322/.414/.550. 41 doubles. 34 steals in 39 attempts."

That is not dominant in any of those categories. He's top ten in a lot of offensive categories. The opposite of dominant. Rather, he's sort of an offensive jack-of-all-trades, master of none.


"Hitting with RISP. Wright is hitting .313/.439/.560. He’s actually a better hitter with RISP."

Well, the batting average is lower, but, whatever.


"Overcame a very slow start."

April counts when determining the 2007 MVP. As long as we're talking about April 2007.


"Carlos Delgado has been awful. Beltran has decreased his OPS this year by over 100 points. Jose Reyes down almost 50. Moises Alou has only played in 82 games. Which makes Wright’s performance all the more impressive."

Delgado has been awful, that much is true.

The other points are not points at all.

Beltran is "down?" What does that mean? Compared to what? Beltran's 2006? That's why D. Wright is the NL MVP in 2007?

Beltran has more homeruns and rbis than Wright in 20 fewer games. Plus, Beltran is a better defender at a more important position. Beltran's OPS is down and he's still better than Wright.

Is that a convincing Wright-for-MVP argument?

Alou has only played in 82 games but has hit .340 in those games.

Rollins scored 100 million runs for the third year in a row even though Utley and Howard spent time on the DL.

Every team has players who are on the DL and other players who are disappointing.


"Wright’s OPS? Up over 50 points from last year."

I'm baffled by this tack.

Are we discussing Most Improved Player or Most Valuable Player?

Is Carlos Pena the MVP of the American League?


"He’s been the glue, the man and any other superlative you can add to him."

Okay, but Prince Fielder has been the glue, the man, and the Thing from the Fantastic Four.

Also, Prince Fielder has been "any other superlative you can add to him."

What I'm saying is, go ahead and add any superlative you want to Prince Fielder and Prince Fielder has been that superlative.


Also, I don't know if this counts for anything, but, down the stretch, the Mets are coming apart at the seams in an embarrassing manner. If Wright is the glue, maybe he's the same glue they used in the Ted Williams tunnel.


"He’s hit 9 of his homers against Atlanta and Philly. You’d think he would be pounding the lesser teams but he has hit only 3 against Washington and Florida."

A whole nine, huh?


"In New York they are marveling at his improvement on defense."

I guess one guy, David Lennon, is marveling at Wright's improvement on defense, but 21 errors is a heck of a lot.

David Lennon is "in New York." I will concede that point.

But, again, what difference does it really make if Wright improved?

This is a discussion of the 2007 season and the relative value of the NL baseball players in 2007. While Wright is a legit superstar -- 30 and 100 is nothing to sneeze at -- there is no way he is the best player in the NL in 2007.

He was the glue that held the team together, or something like that.

Carlos Beltran has more homeruns and runs batted in than David Wright.

Jose Reyes has more runs scored and stolen bases.

Moises Alou has a higher batting average.

Forget about leading the league. I tried to find an important statistical category where D. Wright led his own team.

I finally found it.

Apathy means never having to say you're sorry.

Predictions are stupid in the first place. I was right about the Astros, wrong about the Blue Jays. Who cares? So I was wrong about the Blue Jays.

Dan Graziano predicted the Yankees would not come back and make the playoffs.

Now it's time to eat humble pie, eat crow, and various other cliches.

When you think about it, though, these apologies are arrogant and self-serving gestures:

"Actually, I expected it to be worse. Maybe you've all just been waiting for the Yankees to officially clinch their playoff spot, and the next few days will bring a barrage of angry, sarcastic, corrective e-mails about that June 29 column that pronounced their season dead. If they do, fair enough."

Dan, there's no outrage because nobody cares about what you have to say in the first place.

Moises Alou, Motivational Speaker.

"Win one for the Gipper." -- Knute Rockne.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going." -- Billy Ocean.

"Damn, it would have been nice if we got that win today." -- Moises Alou.

Felzball's first poll.

Alex Rodriguez is:
	Best Yankee ever.
	Best human being ever.
pollcode.com free polls

I am inclined to disagree.

Just so we're all clear on the award in question, it's called "Manager of the Year" and not "Manager of the Second Half":

"SECOND RUNNERUP:

Joe Torre, New York Yankees. Managers with absurd payrolls and rich in All-Stars don't generally gather many post-season plaques, but Torre has survived a crazy baseball summer in the city that defines crazy."

It's been one wild, wacky, crazy baseball summer ... all in the city that defines crazy!


"The tabloids had him fired last fall, then again in the spring."

I wish the tabloids had the authority.


"In his first five games, Torre started Carl Pavano, Andy Pettitte, Mike Mussina, Kei Igawa and Darrel Rasner. Among seven or eight starting pitchers, there were about 10 healthy hamstrings. Remember Tyler Clippard? Matt DeSalvo? Chase Wright? All Yankees starters."

Alex Rodriguez? Derek Jeter? Jorge Posada? Hideki Matsui? Bob Abreu? Mariano Rivera?

Which reminds me: Why is Abreu still batting third? Can anybody anywhere justify this?


"They were 6½ games out in April, 14½ in May, 13½ out in June, and still as many as 7 out in September."

Manager of the year!

Television Prison.

While sitting with the Con Ed Kids in the alcohol-free adjunct of Yankee Stadium known as the Left Field Bleachers, I was pondering why Torre didn't pinch-hit for Giambi in the fifth inning.

Across the street, Stan's Sports Bar provided a clear view of the game from the vantage point of a cameraman instead of the cloudy vantage point of a bunch of old men who forgot their glasses and were sitting 650 feet away from home plate.

Stan's Sports Bar also provided the opportunity to abandon the masculine $5 garbage bag / poncho and embrace a cold alcoholic beverage.

Baseball and Beer: Perfect Together.

Two of the Party of Five headed to Stan's after four innings.

The remaining Con Ed Three got to see ARod hit a go-ahead, two-out, bases-loaded double in the sixth inning. I saw the pitcher throw and I saw the batter swing. I heard the crack of the bat about the same time that Jeter was crossing home plate. It's kind of like when you see lightning and try to count to five before you hear the thunder.

Though not aligned with the audio input, the visual input indicated that the ball was in fair territory and, based on the delayed Doppler Effect of the crowd reaction, I was able to realize that something good was happening.

Anyway, Giambi's fifth-inning strikeout led to an overall Giambi discussion.

In answer to the first question, Giambi has 235 at-bats and Ball Thief has 144 at-bats. That is to say, Giambi has more at-bats. Good trivia question for the next time you're at a sports bar.

Next time you're at a sports bar, you might also want to tell Pam ... was that your name? Pam? ... that you actually attend the University of Michigan and it's not just a tee shirt that says "University of Michigan."

Pam is inebriated. You could tell Pam you go to University of Michigan, got a 4.0 in aeronautical engineering, and now you're the mayor. Of Michigan, honey. Yes, the mayor of Michigan. Do you want a jello shot?

But I digress.

I understand Torre's choices at first base, I really do:

Good field, no hit: 144 at-bats, .257, 5 hrs, 22 rbis, .329 ob%, .417 slugging%.

No field, no hit: 235 at-bats, .238, 16 hrs, 36 rbis, .355 ob%, .447 slugging%.

Which is why Ball Thief is the first choice.

Not because Ball Thief is really, really good.

Because Giambi is really, really bad.

The psychology of disappointment.

As far as I'm concerned, ARod and Magglio are sure shots for 1-2 in the AL MVP voting. The discussion then moves on to the top five or the top ten. Perhaps not an interesting discussion for some, but it's interesting to me.


There is a player who plays on a team with the best record in the league (more or less). His scoreboards stats are .319, 31, 107. His respective ranks for these categories are 7, 3, and 7.

He also has 107 runs scored (7), a .434 ob% (1), and a .593 slugging percentage (3).

On top of this, his vaunted 1-2 punch counterpart has either been injured or been eh.


Of course, I am talking about David Ortiz.

I may be misreading the General Consensus, but Ortiz doesn't seem to be generating much MVP buzz whatsoever.


I know Ortiz set the bar exceedingly high the previous three years.

But, when it comes to MVP consideration, players should be judged against other players in the same league in the same year. They shouldn't be judged harshly against unrealistic expectations.

It's the pressure of hitting homerun number 517.

Ba dum bum.

"A man on crutches wearing a Jose Reyes T-shirt was ejected - but not arrested - for throwing a ball from the third-base stands onto the field in the eighth inning last night. The ball struck Aaron Heilman on the left forearm as the Mets reliever was taking the mound."

The guy on crutches seems to have good aim. Maybe the Mets should try him in the ninth inning.

ARod may be an attention whore ...

... but at least ARod can hit.

Yay!

If a prominent role is playing first base and batting ninth, then I agree.

I also can't argue with Joe Torre's riveting assessment of baseball players and their relationship with baseball games:

"He's had an effect on our games."

Found one writer.

I don't necessarily agree that Peavy is the NL MVP. It just seems like he deserves to be mentioned more prominently.

I also happen to like this guy's comments about D. Wright:

"The New York lobby, as provincial as it is influential, has lately been leaning toward Mets third baseman David Wright. Wright is a fine player by any standard, a core component on the league's best team. Yet as of the start of yesterday's games, he ranked no higher than fourth in any significant statistical category.

Not only that, any objective appraisal would place Wright a distant second among the third basemen in his own town, where Alex Rodriguez also works.

Thus if David Wright really stands out above the competition, somebody else must be stooping."

NL MVP?

A player who is winning the Triple Crown for a playoff team, yet seldom mentioned as an MVP candidate.

I definitely have a new favorite player.

Couple of things, you gutter punk:

1) Don't get autographs of Yankee players. In fact, don't get autographs of Red Sox players. Read a book or learn how to talk to girls.

2) Your parents named you "Griffin." No Yankee player can ever play a bigger prank on you than that.

Bad Player Makes a Good Play.

"UPDATE, 8:33 p.m.: All the Doug Mientkiewicz haters say you’re sorry. It would be 3-0 if not for that play."

Mark Teixeira couldn't make that play?


Even if Ball Thief was Torre's best choice amongst a lot of bad choices ... and Ball Thief isn't Torre's best choice ... I think the anti-Ball Thief sentiment is always framed in its proper context.

The observation from the "haters" is that the Yankees are embarrassingly awful at 1b/dh, and have been all year

Worse, these positions should be easy to fill because they are not challenging defensively.

Everybody knows that Giambi's defense is abhorrent and his offensive contributions no longer justify his presence on the field. Giambi has degenerated into a dh who bats sixth or seventh, for Cripe's sake.

The other first basemen on Torre's bench simply can not hit. Ball Thief may be the best fielder of the bunch, but when your competition is Andy Phillips and Wilson Betemit, it's a competition that should be taking place in Scranton-Wilkes Barre.

Arguing about which Yankee 1b is better is like arguing if you'd prefer a punch in the nose or a kick in the groin.


I'm not quite sure why Ball Thief attracts such a following with the beat writers.

The rest of us wonder why the Yankees released Josh Phelps in the first place.

Let's Go Yankees.

I know that most of the world only pays attention to the Yankees when they play Red Sox or the Mets, and I know that winning the division has its advantages.

But while I've heard a lot about a six-man rotation and getting the rotation set up properly for the playoffs, I'd like to remind my reading audience (Hi, Mom!) that, if the Yankees lose tonight, their wild-card lead over the Tigers will be a slim 1.5 games.

Gee, do you think race has something to do with it?

This country doesn't hate steroids, cheating, or even dog fighting.

We hate people who are uppity.

Does he think he's a good baseball player, or something?

"The game continued on its downhill spiral for the Mets when Lo Duca fumed at a called third strike to end the ninth. After arguing for a few seconds, he started to walk away. But he continued to talk, and that earned him an ejection from plate umpire Paul Emmel.

'If you're going to throw me out, throw me out with your face to me,' Lo Duca said. 'Don't throw me out when I'm walking away.' "

If I understand the description of events correctly, you were thrown about because you were walking away. Like, Lo Duca was unwilling to speak to the umpire's face and this was perceived as disrespectful.

Lo Duca fascinates me.

I can't recall a player with such a difference between the size of their bat and the size of their mouth.

I wish I could take him literally.

The Yankees are not going to win the AL East and this weekend's series with Boston has no juice. I'm not sure why Lupica is leading the hype. It's so unlike him.

Are the Yankees posing as underdogs? I'm unaware of this narrative:

"For the last time, this Yankee team isn't a 'Rocky' movie."

I suspect that will not the be the last time Lupica uses that line. I can anticipate this Sunday's "Shootin' From The Lip.":

" 'The Little Engines That Could' were supposed to sweep Boston this weekend. Instead, their AL East comeback hopes were swept away. Like General (Betray Us) Petraeus sweeping the truth about Iraq under a Congressional rug of lies.

The Great ARod was supposed to hit eleven homeruns onto Lansdowne Street, piercing blows into the heart of New England: Rocky-like.

Balboa, that is.

I know Theo is unhappy with the signing of J.D. Drew. In fact, J.D.'s numbers this season are not how anybody Drew them up. But that hit J.D. got off Joba on Saturday may have changed the course of major league baseball forever.

Not since Kevin (Game Seven) Brown has a Yankee had a more boring name than Philip Hughes.

For my money, Zac Efron is the hottest teenage boy since the short one in Kriss Kross.

By the way, was that Kriss? Or was that Kross?

Brian Cashman has lots of Cash, Man.

Again: A man with cash.

For the last time: He is a real Cash Man.

Stop saying negative things about Eli Manning, please.

September 11, 2001 changed the course of our nation. For the first time in recorded history, politicians were able to exploit a humanist tragedy.

It all started with two Jets.

Two Jets in New York.

Jets.

New York.

Six years later, we refer to that anniversary as Patriot's Day.

Six years later, two more Twin Towers are under attack, this time by the Patriots.

As Belichick's cronies roamed the sideline with their James Bond gadgetry, the twin towers of Integrity and Fairness imploded.

Ground Zero for Fair Play.

Against the Jets from New York.

Jets.

New York.

On Patriot's Day.

The next time Jose (Don't Call Me Al) Reyes does something on the baseball field that I don't like, it will be the first time."

You know who drives me crazy sometimes? Joe Torre.

"Nurturing this particular link has been a challenge for Torre, who so deftly has managed many other superstars. But where he grew along with the likes of Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera, where he quickly clicked with big-ticket additions such as Roger Clemens, Jason Giambi and Mike Mussina, the A-Rod phenomenon was just different.

'I think he has been the hardest, only because I've never had somebody who was just a lightning rod like he is and at the center of everything, good, bad or indifferent,' Torre said. 'I try to speak in a positive way about everybody and maybe a lot of times I didn't take the right road with him because I wasn't sure. I was trying to find a way to make him comfortable. But his eyes right now are just without strain for me.' "

This is the "challenge" of managing Alex Rodriguez:

1. Bat him fourth every game.
2. Sit back and watch.

What consequences, exactly?

Ken Rosenthal writes a bunch of blah blah blah.

But what will really happen to MLB if it does not get tougher on steroids?

"Enough already. The Steroid Era continues to be marked by lying, finger-pointing and cover-your-rear actions and policies."

And record-setting attendance all around.

"The only solution — an all-out, multi-million dollar effort to clean up the sport — rarely is even discussed, much less given serious consideration.

If the players and owners lack the will for such a fight, they do not deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Lead or face the consequences."

Such as?

Another derisive article from a sportswriter?

Come on, you guys. Please?

Just one game up in the wild card race.

Make that three games up in the wild card race:

"In one of the most dramatic performances by a New York athlete since Reggie hit three homers on three pitches, A-Rod melded elements of Willis Reed, Kirk Gibson and Mr. October to create a September night to remember at Yankee Stadium.

...

And before his night was over, the guy who could barely walk was able to bound up the dugout steps twice to acknowledge the chants of 'MVP!' from the crowd.

...

To think there was a time when it was believed the Yankees could never win a championship with A-Rod. Now, it is obvious they aren't winning anything without him."

Mutually exclusive.

Tom Shearn beats the Mets in his third major league start.

Someone named "bch78" makes the following observation at the nj.com Mets discussion board:

"They couldn't hit a 30-year-old journeyman making his third major league start."

Since you put it that way ...

Jayson Stark joins the debate:

"David Wright

Leads the league in: No major categories."

Try playing in a real league.

"For the first time in 52 years and only the third time in baseball history, both league MVPs may play the same position in the very same city."

For the past 52 years, the only teams that play in the very same city are the Yankees/Mets and Cubs/White Sox. The Mets didn't exist for 7 of those 52 years.


"It's often seen as uncouth and imprudent to call an MVP race in early September, but while the Tigers' Magglio Ordonez and the Mariners' Ichiro are having superb seasons in the AL, there's no realistic reason to think someone other than A-Rod could or should win the award."

By whom are MVP predictions seen as uncouth? Lots of people have been making MVP predictions since before the season even started.


In case you'd forgotten, Jon Heyman does not like VORP:

"While a few VORP devotees and other statistical mavens may pitch for Hanley Ramirez (not me), in my estimation Wright's main competition should come from the Brewers' Fielder and Ryan Braun, the Phillies' Rollins and Chase Utley, the Rockies' Matt Holliday, the Dodgers' Russell Martin and Wright's teammate Jose Reyes. But as of today, of all those players, only Wright and Reyes would be in the playoffs, something else that could put Wright over the top."

Did I miss the mention of Miguel Cabrera, Chipper Jones, Carlos Lee, Albert Pujols, and Ryan Howard?

Wright deserves to be in the discussion. I don't think he's the MVP. I think he's the third-best 3b in his own division. But he's putting up good numbers and it's not an easy call in the NL.

If Wright wins the NL MVP, don't blame Mike Lowell and ARod if they laugh at him. Mike Lowell will finish, like, 15th in the AL voting.

Of all the dramatic things I've ever seen.

Playoff race. Early September. Wild Card opponent. Yankee Stadium. 55,000 fans.

4 innings, 8 hits, 5 earned runs.

This, ladies and gentleman, is what it's all about.

Did he say J.J. Putz is the MVP?

No, he did not.

Becuase J.J. Putz is not Jonathan Papelbon.

Because J.J. Putz plays for Seattle instead of Boston.

While 100% of the non-Mike-Lupica World believes that the ball slipped out of Chamberlain's hand, this is the Unique Red-Sox-Lovin' World of Mike Lupica:

"The Yankees can act as if Joba Chamberlain is the most wrongly accused guy since Capt. Alfred Dreyfus, but guess what?

Throwing over Kevin Youkilis' head in a blowout game the other day, at the end of a three-game sweep, was bush league.

If it was some sort of accident, let's see the next time he puts two over a guy's head on successive pitches."

It may never happen again. Just like a Red Sox rookie may never throw another no-hitter. Just like the Indians may never turn another 5-4-3 triple play (Was that the Indians? It was somebody). Just like Robinson Cano may never cover second base on a relay throw from the outfield. Just like Pat Burrell may never hit 41 homeruns against any other team.

This is the craziest thing Lupica has ever seen in a baseball game?

The most statistically unlikely thing?

I saw Brian Roberts get picked off first base last night when the pitcher on the opposing team was throwing a no-hitter. Let's see the next time it happens. He must have been picked off on purpose.

You know what baseball is? A bunch of colliding accidents. Swinging bunts and check-swing doubles and swinging at pitches in the dirt. Guys saying to themselves, "Don't hit into a double play. Don't hit into a double play. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HIT INTO A DOUBLE PLAY."

The ball slips out of a rookie's hand and Mike Lupica wets his pants because it almost hit one of his beloved Red Sox players.

Duck, pal.


A five run-lead is a blowout game?

I love this stuff, I really do.

As if the Yankees were comfortable losing Chamberlain because they have so much faith in Edwar Ramirez. A walk, a bloop, and a blast. Now it's 5-4 and Mariano isn't warmed up.

This is the Red Sox with a six-game lead in late August.


You want to talk about bush league?

I don't recall a player getting suspended without a warning and without even hitting the batter.