I wish I could take him literally.

The Yankees are not going to win the AL East and this weekend's series with Boston has no juice. I'm not sure why Lupica is leading the hype. It's so unlike him.

Are the Yankees posing as underdogs? I'm unaware of this narrative:

"For the last time, this Yankee team isn't a 'Rocky' movie."

I suspect that will not the be the last time Lupica uses that line. I can anticipate this Sunday's "Shootin' From The Lip.":

" 'The Little Engines That Could' were supposed to sweep Boston this weekend. Instead, their AL East comeback hopes were swept away. Like General (Betray Us) Petraeus sweeping the truth about Iraq under a Congressional rug of lies.

The Great ARod was supposed to hit eleven homeruns onto Lansdowne Street, piercing blows into the heart of New England: Rocky-like.

Balboa, that is.

I know Theo is unhappy with the signing of J.D. Drew. In fact, J.D.'s numbers this season are not how anybody Drew them up. But that hit J.D. got off Joba on Saturday may have changed the course of major league baseball forever.

Not since Kevin (Game Seven) Brown has a Yankee had a more boring name than Philip Hughes.

For my money, Zac Efron is the hottest teenage boy since the short one in Kriss Kross.

By the way, was that Kriss? Or was that Kross?

Brian Cashman has lots of Cash, Man.

Again: A man with cash.

For the last time: He is a real Cash Man.

Stop saying negative things about Eli Manning, please.

September 11, 2001 changed the course of our nation. For the first time in recorded history, politicians were able to exploit a humanist tragedy.

It all started with two Jets.

Two Jets in New York.

Jets.

New York.

Six years later, we refer to that anniversary as Patriot's Day.

Six years later, two more Twin Towers are under attack, this time by the Patriots.

As Belichick's cronies roamed the sideline with their James Bond gadgetry, the twin towers of Integrity and Fairness imploded.

Ground Zero for Fair Play.

Against the Jets from New York.

Jets.

New York.

On Patriot's Day.

The next time Jose (Don't Call Me Al) Reyes does something on the baseball field that I don't like, it will be the first time."