"Derek Jeter won the Gold Glove this year for the same reason he can snag a greatest-hits list of starlets and have his own scent of cologne and instantaneously own any room into which he walks:"
Well, before I get started reading this article, the negative reaction to Jeter's Gold Glove is really a condemnation of the award, not so much a condemnation the 36-year-old Hall of Fame shortstop. The most supportive defense of the award has described Jeter's defense as merely "above average." So now the Gold Glove means defensive player who are above average. Which makes no sense.
Still, it continues a decade-long backlash to the ridiculous heights of Jeter worship.
Anyway, why did Jeter win the Gold Glove?
"He oozes Jeterness."
Yuck.
"Perhaps you have not heard of Jeterness. It is an all-encompassing and -embodying quality that amalgamates Derek Jeter’s greatest attributes into one succinct air of being. It is equal parts cool, attractive, intelligent, heroic, humble and confident. Men want Jeterness. Women swoon at those who have it."
Kind Sir, I live in the New York City Metropolitan area.
I've never heard of Jeterness? Even if it has never been described in such a foolish manner, I have heard about Jeterness just about every day for the past 15 years.
In short, Jeter's got an edge, baby. And he's got one with a cool panoramic vista roof!
"Right now, for the first time in his career, Derek Jeter is a free agent, and this development is spurring a great debate. There are two sides: to pay or not to pay, a fairly black-and-white construct."
Black-and-white construct? Just like Jeter himself. Har dee har har.
There really is no great debate. Everyone knows that the Yankees have plenty of money to pay Jeter and they will overpay him. Most veterans are overpaid, most free agents are overpaid, most pro athletes are paid for their past work instead of their future work.
"Hardcore Jeter loyalists want the Yankees to open their overstuffed pocketbook and write him a blank check. Jeter realists see his age, skill set and quantifiable contributions to the team and want him back – he is, after all, the only shortstop in this free-agent class worthy of wearing Pinstripes – albeit at market price, which is a good $10 million a year less than Jeter will end up getting."
I guess I agree with that, but it's not hard to figure out why. They're paying Jeter extra because he is the team icon and he moves lots of merchandise, etc.
"In the end, his Jeterness made his Gold Glove, and it makes it difficult to stomach, too. Anyone who watched a couple Yankees games this season – even the most ardent Jeter supporter – could say his defense isn’t what it used to be, and what it used to be was never much more than above average. Jeter wasn’t ever Luis Aparicio, Mark Belanger, Ozzie Smith, Omar Vizquel – and those are the only players to win more than his five Gold Gloves."
Hey, that's a good point, Jeff Passan.
"Jeter will get at least three years, and though the Yankees want to talk about $15 million per year, the number should creep closer to $20 million in the end. Last season, he was one of only five players to top that benchmark, and he doesn’t want to slide underneath it, not when the man to the right of him, Alex Rodriguez, made nearly 50 percent more than him last year. Jeter never complained about it because he’s bigger than that. You know, the Jeterness."
Well, stop saying "the Jeterness." It is not going to catch on.
But Jeter has no reason to complain about ARod's contract. ARod is a teammate who helps the Yankees win. Also, ARod sets the bar high, and the Edge is going to cash in.
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