"Alex Rodriguez has been contacted about playing a drag queen in an upcoming indie movie about Salvador Dali. The New York Post reports that the film's brass believes Rodriguez would be perfect in the role of Dali's 'factotum social secretary.' Apparently Ricky Williams and Charles Barkley, famed dress-wearers, were unavailable."
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Ricky Williams and Charles Barkley," he said.
That's hi-la-ri-ous.
"A-Rod makes more than $30 million a year to play baseball, and he'd make quite a bit less in the role of the stunning, leggy drag queen named Potassa."
He does not make more than $30 million a year to play baseball, but if Mike Lupica can't get his facts straight, why should Ben Maller?
"While it's highly unlikely he'd ever consider showing off his legs in a dress, this is the real deal."
Which is it? Is it highly unlikely or is it the real deal?
"A-Rod's people didn't comment on the story, which might be another way of saying he's got a better chance of playing for the Jets than wearing a beautiful gown."
Playing for the Jets?
That's a football team.
Ben Maller, you're outrageous!
Wait a second ... I think I've been punked ... Ben Maller is a made-up person and this is a made-up story.
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