Not anxious enough.

"We got a little overanxious at times," Torre said. "We're a better ballclub than that. But we couldn't do anything."

Joe Torre respects the Tigers so much, that he pulled his lineup out of a hat for games one and two of the playoffs.

Joe Torre takes the Tigers so seriously, that he puts Sheffield at first base instead of Giambi, Phillips, Cairo, Wilson, Guiel, Fasano, Mussina, or my butt. Not that Sheffield's play at first base hurt the Yankees, it's just that Torre treats the first round of the playoffs like nothing more than a tryout for the second round of the playoffs.

Joe Torre lets everybody know before the series even starts that the Yankees have so much firepower that he won't need Mariano more than one inning per game.

The Yankees did not appear overanxious against Kenny Bleepin' Rogers last night. They looked like they were playing a mid-April Sunday afternoon getaway day in Tampa.

The Yankees do not look uncomfortable vs. Detroit in the ALDS. They look very comfortable. They just ate a big plate of spaghetti in meatballs, they're lying back in the recliner, their shoes are kicked off, and they're settling down for a good round of Sunday afternoon golf on CBS. They're getting sleepy... very sleepy...


What is Joe Torre's response to the sleepwalking team? Have a meeting that is described as "somewhere between a tongue lashing and a pat on the back."

Who got the pat on the back? Bernie Williams for providing the Yankees' offensive highlight, a foul ball down the left field line?

It is the only response Torre knows. When the team is playing uninspired and listless, Torre tells them to relax more.

This is a guy who shut it down after the Yankees swept the Red Sox in mid-August. This is a guy who's bored with making the playoffs. This is a guy who says he respects the little team that "Jimmy" has over there, but he doesn't mean it. This is a guy who finally decides winning a ballgame is important when the Yankees are down 2-1 in a five-game playoff series.


Hey, Joe, next time there's a close play at third base, maybe you should check out the baseball rulebook. When your third baseman catches a ball and tags the runner before the runner reaches the base, the runner is out.

Go ahead, Joe. Put down the cup of green tea and argue with the umpire.