I challenge anybody to read Lupica's article about Tynes in its entirety. A placekicker's brother is in jail, or something. Why am I supposed to care? Maybe it's a metaphor for something.
Point being, Mike Lupica is currently in Arizona preparing to write an article for tomorrow's Super Bowl. Please read that article. Digest it. Ponder it. Wallow in its mediocrity.
I can tell you right now what this article will say. I can write it from home in five minutes for free.
"It's the City that Never Sleeps. I'll take Manhattan, the Bronx, and Staten Island, too. The Big Apple, the Capital of the World.
If the Giants win this afternoon on a sun-scorched field near Phoenix, they will secure a legendary spot amongst New York stories. Not just New York sports stories, but New York stories.
How appropriate that the game is in Phoenix. Like the mythical bird itself, Eli & Co. will have risen from the ashes.
Except this is no myth.
This is now.
And this is New York.
This is not just Namath's prediction and Jeter;s flip: Eli (Peyton's Brother) Manning will take his honorific place beside Lumet and Breslin; the Power Broker and the Little Flower; King Kong and Son of Sam.
Bill Parcells once said to me, 'There are no moral victories.'
Perhaps not, but sometimes the Moral are Victorious.
Today, root for the Good Guys. C'mon, Eli: Win one for the Nice Guys.
Win one for all of us.
Win one for New York City.
You know what they say, Eli. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere."
Throw in at least one boxing metaphor and at least one tenuous link to the Presidential race and you've got your big-deal Lupica Super Bowl article.
Really worth the plane ticket, huh?
Lisa Olson couldn't have done the same thing at a cut rate?
This ain't exactly Newton and Liebniz racing to discover calculus, a'ight?
As your eyes glaze over tomorrow morning, please remind yourself that the article you are reading was so important to the Daily News, that they evidently lost one of their writers because of it.
3 comments:
You forgot to mention the Yankee Payroll
That's really funny. Funny 'cause it's true. You've captured his writing style.
Poor New York. The city has gone a whole seven years in a Championship "drought." (Ignoring the Devils, of course, who also play in New Jersey.) The horrors of making the playoffs every year.
I also don't quite understand the point of ranking the NY Championships ... or ranking the Giants Championships ... or the endless worship of the underdog.
I kind of enjoyed the 1986 Giants and the 1998 Yankees. Am I the only person who enjoyed a baseball team with a 125-50 record? Enjoyed every minute of it. Except for the 50 losses.
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