All the naive writers live in one city.

"Roger Clemens is everything the Yankees don't need and everything they claim not to want."

Roger Clemens is a good pitcher and the Yankees need good pitching.


"On a team that thrived a decade ago on role players, timely hitting and controlled egos, he is a diva in a clubhouse already bulging with them."

You know who is a good example of a "role player"? Randy Velarde.

You know who Wallace Matthews just describes as "role players"? Try Bernie, Jeter, Tino, Posada, Knoblauch, O'Neill, Rivera, Pettitte, Key, Cone, Wells, El Duque, etc.

The $150 million teams filled with role players.

Oh, and don't forget "role player" Roger Clemens. The diva who earned two rings with the Yankees.

Does two rings in a row not qualify as "thriving"?


"Then came Clemens, and before long, Giambi and A-Rod and Mussina and Javier Vazquez and Randy Johnson and Bobby Abreu."

Then came Clemens, and before long, two more Championships.


"The nucleus had enough left in it to pull off two more titles but soon, the magic of the mid-1990s was gone, replaced by the decided stench of mercenaries in the clubhouse and apathy on the field."

Absolutely pathetic and disgraceful.

As if the Yankees won despite free agents and mercenaries.

The stench of mercenaries like David Cone, Wade Boggs, Charlie Hayes, Jimmy Key, Roger Clemens, Mike Stanton, Jeff Nelson, Joe Girardi, Tino Martinez, Chuck Knoblauch, Paul O'Neill, David Wells, and Scott Brosius?

Oh, and you'd better believe that True Yankees like Jeter are loyal to the Yankees because the Yankees pay them well. They're all mercenaries.

Without the stench of mercenaries, the Yankees wouldn't have any rings ... ever.


"Now, Clemens is back, and he is supposed to be some sort of throwback to the Yankees teams that brought a lot of fans back to the Stadium in 1996, when baseball in the Bronx became fun again."

Seriously? Wallace Matthews didn't have fun in 1995? Mattingly in the playoffs vs. Seattle? Didn't they hit three dingers in a row in a playoff game? The Pat Kelly homerun down the stretch in Toronto, I believe? Winning the last ten games just to win the wild card, or something like that?

When did baseball in the Bronx become not fun for Wallace Matthews? Then, it only became fun again when a bunch of mercenaries bought the World Series title in 1996?

I always enjoyed baseball in the Bronx. I enjoyed the Mel Hall Era. I enjoyed the Jack Clark Strikeout Watch. I enjoyed the Yankee Toyota car. I enjoyed Andy Hawkins losing a no-hitter. I enjoyed Joel Skinner occasionally hitting a ball into fair territory. I enjoyed Don Baylor getting hit by pitches and Steve Kemp mentally and physically disintegrate into the worst player in baseball history.

Why not have fun? It's baseball in the Bronx! It's always fun!

Maybe it's because I'm a fan of baseball.

Maybe Wallace Matthews just doesn't like baseball.

Maybe he should write newspaper columns about knitting instead.


"If Clemens really cared about any team other than Team Rocket, he would have reported to spring training in February, with everyone else rather than starting his spring on May 9. If he really gave a damn about any of the three teams interested in him, he would have let them know his intentions three months ago, so they could plan accordingly. If remaining close to home was really so important to him, he would have returned to the Astros, or at worst, gone to the Texas Rangers."

Wallace Matthews has the mind of an infant.

Yes, we know, we know. Roger Clemens is greedy and self-centered. Everybody knows it.

We also know if he really wanted a ring so badly, he'd go to the Red Sox or the Tigers or, heck, why not the Brewers?

When Clemens says "the Yankees know how to win," he's lying. Just look at the list of World Series winners at baseball-reference.com. The Four Rings are ancient history.

But what's bizarre is that Wallace Matthews actually seems to believe that Clemens surprised the Yankees. As if the Yankees didn't have time to plan accordingly. As if this wasn't decided before Pettitte signed and before Randy Johnson was traded. As if Pettitte and Jeter haven't been practicing their "surprise" face for six months.

No matter how much you hate Clemens and no matter how much you hate the Yankees, your brain can't possibly be that dysfunctional.