Somebody explain to the grown up that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

"THERE is some good that can emerge from the bluster and the ballyhoo of Roger Clemens' return to duty. From this point forward, on into forever, we can finally, officially dismiss the nonsensical notion that the Yankees exist on a separate plane from the rest of baseball, and the rest of sports."

Nonsensical notions are nonsensical notions. Not sure why the signing of Roger Clemens would render a notion any more or less nonsensical.


"Those pinstripes, which Yankees and Yankees fans alike have viewed as some kind of moral shield for decades?

They're just stripes now."

Moral shield?


"The Yankees have officially surrendered the right to act self-righteous and superior now. They're just like everyone else. When the pressure hits a certain level, they'll squander their stack like Tony Soprano on a gambling jag."

I'm still not sure what you're getting at.

The Yankees are not just like everyone else because the Yankees have more money to spend than everyone else. They've always squandered their stack like Tony Soprano on a gambling jab. As far back as Babe Ruth.

The self-righteousness and even the commitment to winning? That's a marketing campaign.


"Let it ride, and to hell with the Yankee Way."

What's the Yankee Way?

I always thought the Yankee Way was to utilize their financial advantages as best as they possibly could.

That's the Yankee Way.

That's how you win 26 World Championships.


"Gone are the days when the Yankees can even pretend their dirty socks don't smell the way everyone else's do. Gone are the days when they can harrumph and say they don't adjust to the times, the times - and the players - adjust to them. The moment they coaxed Clemens' signature onto the bottom of this perks-heavy contract, they did more than sell their soul.

They sold their collective history - and all the moral authority that allegedly went with it - down the Harlem River. Here's hoping ol' No. 22 will be worth it."

Wow. Have the Yankees ever harrumphed and said they don't adjust to the times? I know that Steinbrenner insists on clean-shaven beards. Other than that, I think the Yankees have made an effort to adjust to the times.

The Yankees sold their collective history, did they? I hope the wife beaters, alcoholics, junkies, greedy free agents, crybabies, spoiled brats, and cheaters who fill Monument Park can deal with it.

The Yankees can't sell their soul. The Yankees never had one. They're a professional baseball team.

Clemens is neither morally superior nor morally inferior to any of the other 749 mercenaries who play major league baseball. He's just better than most of them.