If the facts disagree with your theory, ignore the facts.

I'm happy. I should be happy. I attended another Yankee victory, the lead is 9 1/2, Nomar is no longer on the Red Sox (a team that is supposed to be built to win this year), Contreras is off the Yankees, and that sleeping giant known as the Red Sox -- supposedly awoken by the catalytic fight between ARod and Varitek -- is apparently asleep once again.

But I also had a triple dose of Lupica today and I feel a Lupica rant coming on.



Two Lupica tenets collided this weekend:

1. The Yankees have the resources to acquire any player they desire.
2. The Yankees desperately wanted Randy Johnson.

So, what is Lupica's conclusion when the Yankees don't acquire Randy Johnson? Well, they desperately wanted him, they must have been desperate, and maybe even panicky, but they didn't have the guys in the farm system.

They still don't get it. Lupica, Olney, Rocca, McCarron are just Richie, Ralph Malph, Potsy, and Chachi running around Arnold's because Big Unit isn't playing on the jukebox and Pinky Tuscadero is on the way. What a bunch of nerds. Fonzbrenner is in the bathroom combing his hair in the mirror. Then, he calmly walks out of the bathroom, hits the jukebox in just the right spot -- and the smooth doo wop tunes of Esteban Loiza start playing. Aaaaayyyyy!

If the Yankees were really desperate, they'd have offered Posada or Vazquez (two rumors I heard that literally made me laugh out loud). The Yankees put Robinson Cano on a hook and dangled him in front of the D'Backs. Maybe they'd be dumb enough to take the bait. But Lupica thinks that's a desperation move. We ain't desperate, we're 9 1/2 games up. Aaaaayyyyy!



Lupica may have a point regarding the Yankee farm system. It's light. The Lilly-for-Weaver and Claussen-for-Boone trades were bad. Not so much because Lilly or Claussen are all that necessary to the Yankees, but just because Weaver and Boone were just really, really bad in pinstripes.

However, it's a nonsensical leap of logic to connect these bad trades with the inability to land Unit. Why? Because you end up in scenarios more confusing than chaos theory.

The Yankees used Weaver to acquire Kevin Brown. How can Lupica be so sure the Yankees would have saved Lilly in order to acquire Unit? Maybe they'd have used Lilly to get Kevin Brown. Or maybe they'd have packaged Lilly, Claussen, Nick Johnson, Juan Rivera, and Andy Pettitte for ... for ... Doug Mintkayvich and Orlando Cabrera, since they're so great. Well, they're pretty good at fielding their positions, anyway.

More to the point, even if the Yankee farm system is "cleaned out," at least they put it to good use. That is why the Yankees have a 9 1/2 game lead to help ease the pain. Aaaaayyyyy!



Now, given Lupica's criticism of the Yankee trades, you know he has a good idea about what a GM should do. The Mets, for instance. Nine games out, six games under .500, 4th place. The newly-acquired Benson just gave up 7 runs in 5 innings to the Braves. Yeesh. Might be time to trade the vets and load up on the farm system. Right? Right? RIGHT???

Lupica? Certainly, you don't think the Mets should have "cleaned out their farm system," right? Lupica? What did you do?!


"Kris Benson is 29 and Victor Zambrano, whom they got from the Devil Rays, is 28. Zambrano is a winning pitcher on an ordinary Devil Rays team and has occasionally looked like a total star against the Yankees this season.

The Mets must like him a lot because they gave up the best arm in their whole system - Scott Kazmir - to get him from Lou Piniella.

...

They made two huge moves Friday, not just for the rest of this season, but the foreseeable future.

...

When you believe that, and believe truly, you make the move, and hope against hope that these don't turn out to be the kinds of deals that cleaned out the Yankee farm system.

You make the move."


Ummm, what??? Did Lupica just say the Mets made a good move? By "hoping against hope" that they didn't clean out their farm system? Yes, he really said it.



It is my own fault for watching Lupica on ESPN's Sports Reporters this morning. I knew something he'd say would drive me crazy. I think it took one whole sentence. To paraphrase:

"Steinbrenner made this move just to look busy ... " (Chachi still doesn't get it.)

" ... he traded one cast off player for another cast off ... " (Loaiza won 21 games last season and will almost certainly be better than Contreras. Besides, in this previously-referenced column, in the title, didn't Lupica call Loaiza an All-Star?)

" ... one player who won't start in the playoffs for another who won't start in the playoffs." (Wouldn't surprise me at all if Loaiza passed El Duque and Lieber for the #4 spot in the playoffs. If one of the starters happens to be on the DL, it's quite likely Loaiza would start in the playoffs.)


Okay, that's enough ranting. Conclusion? Lupica is a nerd and Fonzbrenner is a dren.